To be Quoted…

Tonight I was thinking of my father… he has been on my mind lately (although he never leaves my thoughts)… It is June and this month has always been for me and my dad. Our birthdays are two days apart… they run on Fathers day weekend… most of the time…

So I was thinking of my father…I have been trying to remember all his lines, sayings, quirks… many lost in translation, but gained in accent 😉 . We were originally from Romania…I have lived in the United States for most of my life, my father restarted and finished his life here. It is and has always been home.

He had the biggest heart and the kindest Soul… his passions exceeded his expectations… I have mentioned all that I loved about my father previously… so tonight an ode to my fathers lines, sayings and quirks…

Ode to Silviu

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Loved to cook, never clean, each and every cabinet door left open, flour and eggs on the ceiling,

with a smile and pride… “my work is finished… ;)”

 

“Are there any cooooocumbers”… an emphasis on the “ooooo”

 

I love crepes, and my father made them the best! however he once made the mistake of calling them “craps” lets just say it stuck around.

 

During his last few years he was often tired… but it never stopped him from writing. That was never his profession… always his dream. Sometimes I would get to the house late… I always knew where he was, down stairs in his “office”… a little den in the basement… all his own… It is not the same 

Sometimes I was rushed and missed out on our talks… but when we caught up… it was perfect…

(sorry dad for that… I have slowed down a bit)

 

This is a little secret I never shared…

We were leaving my sisters wedding at the same time… he was driving in front of me on the highway to show me the way… Then we got to the intersection where I recognized… (this is going to sound bad and irresponsible, but if you would have known my day you would get it)… he wanted to race, so here we are on the hutch and we are speeding, it was only for a minute, but it was a memory I will never forget…

 

He was so proud of his culinary abilities… based in “Romanian Cuisine”…  I would eat that food everyday if I could… but something about my dad, when he cooked… he was a great chef… really… except for…

the dish I will never forget … Tripe soup… It was one of the grossest things I had ever smelled…  the whole family grabbed the pot of soup and threw it outside… never again… we talked about that one forever…

 

Or his compassion for tele-marketers and Jahovas witnesses. Wether it was boredom, or his sense of humor… tele-marketers would call… my dad would turn them around… start questioning them… he would make them forget what they are doing… he was good at confusing people… 😉

 

One day two Jahovas came to the door… now for all who are super religious… I mean this in the utter most respect for all faiths… my dad had very strong beliefs as well…

Two Jahovas Witnesses came to the door… My dad knew who they were and what they wanted… so he invited them in (if they only knew)…

They began thier preaching and information… my father said “alright you want me to listen about your religion, ok first listen about mine…” after ten minutes they suddenly had to leave… I couldn’t believe it… hadn’t had any visitors since then…

 

I could go on forever… but for know I raise my head and smile… 

Here’s to you Dad… an ode to Silviu

May I be quoted one day with love and humor and the warmest of memories…

Shall I

Shall I dance for you?

Shall I smile?

Shall I think for you?

Shall I learn?

Shall I live for you?

Shall I fly?
Shall I cry for you?

Shall I feel?

I dance, smile, think, learn, live, cry, feel

I shall, I do

For eternity

My Soul

 

 

Sacrifice

My guardians
My friends
My angels

My destiny
My Life
My choice

To hurt
To Live
To love

Sacrifice
Accept
Comply

If I close my eyes
Never to breathe again
Will it all have been in vain?
Is my destiny to manifest
Is my path chosen?

For Love of Father

Unconditional Love

Daddy dear
I saw you here
Now you are far away
I wait for the day

Although it seems I am left behind
I’ve looked and looked still I can’t find
A way to remember your loving eyes
A way to forget your sad demise

Within my dreams I hear you clear
In my mind I see you near
One day soon we will meet again
And in that I find my long lost friend

The Day

I pray for
The day when
You and I can
Sit and cry and
laugh and smile
Just for a while

I miss you so…
Time simply goes
Passes us by
Leaves some ahead
Some behind
I wait for the day

 

 

In memory of my Father… This month will be dedicated to him… his birthday… the second since he has been gone… I will be posting thoughts and poetry for him… to acknowledge him 

June 14th 1948 -December 18, 2006

Unconditional Love

In memory of my Father… This month will be dedicated to him… his birthday… the second since he has been gone… I will be posting thoughts and poetry for him… to acknowledge him 

June 14th 1948 -December 18, 2006

 

The ultimate expression of love I find in silence… thoughts… unshared emotions… they resonate deep within. Only after silence and time do these true underlying feelings emerge… 

 

Sometimes they arise from frailty and complete release… at a moment of vulnerability… when your mold is about to shatter… there is a hand… a spirit… a force… holding you together…

 

The ultimate expression of love can not be known first hand… it can only be given under the perfect circumstance… 

 

I have only seen this once, and it was only a fraction of what it could have been… it was a beautiful fraction…

 

This expression came to me in a glance… it came to me when I had lost the one thing I cherished the most… my father… it was a glance, I believe my father was behind those eyes… as I lay sobbing, I looked up … it was him behind his eyes… I am not mistaking love for sorrow, helplessness, pity… it was unconditional love, but I know not how to explain further… I saw a glance, a moment 

 

I share this with you in order to explain… unconditional love can not be given or taken away… it is shared, it remains in essence and in the Soul… it is revealed… in small quantities… when we need it most…

 

Unconditional love is a strong force, imagine the entirety of it…

Angels

Angles are gathering

They listen contently

They feel with our knowledge

They hurt with our mistakes

 

Ignorant of time

Aware of Life

Understanding only God

Seeing only Light

 

They hear cries

They see sacrifice

They see strife

They see 

Yet to them it matters not

They see, they feel 

its all relative to angles

To them Life is a gift

 

They are misunderstood
As is Father

They do not judge
Neither does Father

Cant they see our lives falter?

when will they learn?
Cant they see we are tired?

when will they feel?
Cant they relay the messages?
Cant they tell Father?

When will the know?
They are His eyes and ears

They do not understand

To them Life is a Gift

A gift to us

A gift of burden

A beautiful burden

 

Catch us
We are falling
From Grace
From our sanctuary

Tell our Father
Tell our God

 

Angels read these words and understand