Tag Archives: sadness

A place called Dream

Posted by enreal on

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What a pleasure to have Silence here.

To be so close and have Sadness near.

They are my friends, my enablers, my addiction.

They bring along Memory time and time again, we have made a bond, which many find wrong. They say, “leave her, she will only hold you down.” I say never, “I am stronger with her around”.  My foundation was all but nothing and now is built upon her own, she shows me things and I find I have grown.

~

Now Memory and I  leave behind Silence and Sadness and find Life and Death in the other room. Waiting, watching, no reasons, no rhymes… simply observing the passing of Time…

~

Time sees Memory as clearly as day, leaves Life and Death for a momentary stay, “what have you to say?”

Memory responds, “the same as yesterday, I can not remember your beginning, it is beyond my way, perhaps your company has led you astray. Find the other which fathered Life, find the other who birthed death. Ask the one who knows, for it is beyond my depth”

I watch as Time scattered away, frantic and pacing ever which way. I watched it look over Life and Death, agitated and waiting for a respond or perhaps thinking of their beginnings…

~

We returned to Sadness and Silence. Serenity and Calm entered. I turned to leave and find the name of this place.Looking at Memory I asked, “Where are we and when can I return?”

With an invisible smile Memory said, “It is a place called Dream, you can visit anytime you remember”

Contradiction

Posted by enreal on

there you were, before me

your eyes looked into my soul.

I know,

though I can not share this with you.

I know,

though I wish I could tell you.

I know,

as I know your eyes can see my soul.

I can see and I know.

~

the tear which erupted from your eye was but single

it forced its way fast, for it knew it would be cast aside

one quick stroke and it vanished.

you have become comfortable with tears,

a comfort no one should face.

your hand reacts automatically,

though your mind knows not its track.

it is sad.

~

the  hollowness

parallels the life

which shines

how can eyes be bright and dull simultaneously?

how can beauty be so sad?

how can I see your soul?

tell me,

please.

For I know much

understand more

yet am utterly confused

by contradiction

Remember to remember

Posted by enreal on

When I remember to remember the ache creeps in. So easy is it to push aside dreams and in turn head towards a given reality.

 

When I remember to remember a shadow is thrown. So easy is it to run with the sun and leave behind the darkness in silence.

 

When I remember to remember the silence breaks. So easy is it to listen to breath and the constant rhythm of the heart.

 

It beats

I breathe

I cast shadows

I walk the path blind

 

Yet when I remember to remember

When I choose to not forget. I know.

 

It is not so easy to escape that which comes from within. Blinding yourself. Ignoring the ache. When I remember to remember I feel sad.

 

Perhaps I shall forget this too.

The Other I

Posted by enreal on

Return my companion. The one which stood near in the starless days, in the moonless nights, casting shadow in the darkest of corners, bringing concealed meaning to the words, giving mystery its hold on the defined.

Return my compatriot. For we belong of the same land, the same time, the same body, the same mind. We are of the same mission, our journey was forged side by side, of the same metal, of the same blade. Grass is grown, seeds are sewn, all in all, sadness was born.

Return my peace. The quiet which grew, the bond which we knew…

“Do not carry the world on thy shoulders, accept your sadness and it shall release”

Return that which belongs to me… for acceptance does release and empty. As the tide does come and go… its waters never leave… displaced and moved… yet still part of the sea…

My waters have evaporated, sadness has went accompanied by the tears. Emptiness is all which remains, along with eyes that cannot shed tears… yet they long for their release…

Return that which belongs to me. For I simply can not be, without that other part of me…

“It feels different, as if a weight has been lifted. Yet it was no burden upon me… I carried it freely… now my mission, my purpose has changed. Who defines happiness and normality? Who names all that should be? Who took my burden which I carried freely? Who took I from my mind? Now look at me, who am I?”

 

My dreams

Posted by enreal on

I often speak to you as if you are my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality.

Yet as of late, the nights have turned restless, fever rushes and sweat drowns my peace

As of late, the visions which fall bring not rest

As of late, the nights which gather make my eyes heavy with longing of nights which have passed

As of late, I sit in the corner and wait for dawn. Awake. Alone.


I have spoken to you so often, yet tonight I address you, directly, and ask of you to return to me.

Do not begrudge me my mistakes, for I may have taken for granted, but I have never forsaken my peace.

Please return to me

my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality…

my dreams

I remember nights when I would smile and await the next adventure,

the reality of  life faded and  accompanied the shadows to rest.

The replaced image was one of silence and experience

This new uncertainty became truth… I remember the nights.

I remember the mornings when I would smile and try to capture every detail,

relive the fantasy, find that which I believed in, feel the freedom of all I owned… be that which knows no bounds… almost discovering the reflection in the mirror is all but a mirage… it is the real you

the fragrances of life, the tastes of air, the sights and sounds… all aware… all in there… it is the truth… I remember the mornings when my mind would comfort my soul

one day,

one day

your dreams shall

be real,

for all which is,

is all

In dreams

For Now

Posted by enreal on

The days begin to fold into one. Months, weeks, days, hours… or perhaps simply minutes. I can’t tell anymore. Staring at the second hand wondering, why I can’t cry. Why I can’t feel. Why I can’t see…

Then I turn away. I walk away, once more… tired… this too shall pass…

Sighing a heavy breath, one which never really alleviates anything, a breath which is part of my soul, never parting, never detaching from my chest, from my heart… it is a heavy breath…

Then I try once more to breathe, to feel, to see, to cry… I still can’t… for now.

This too shall pass

Good Bye

Posted by enreal on

Twilight fades

The daylight rests

Darkness softly enters

At eventide she appears

Walking to the edge of life

She lingers

.

She knows not of time

She judges not eternity

Believing all is as it should be

.

Her gaze drawn to the first glimmer

A single star alone in the vast ocean of the sky

Yet the lonely star is far from sight

“You see only the brightest, we are never alone”

She smiles at this truth

She waits

.

Her smile welcomes her truth

Her acceptance lightens the sky

Bringing reality and light

Entering the deepest part of being

She waits to be

On the edge of time

.

Her knowledge made of a dream

She watches as it shines

The memories whisper on the edge of the breeze

She waits as it shudders down her spine

And as it comes out her being

The whisper on the breeze

Her wait is over

.

The memories flood

Time flashes her truth

Reality and Starlight mingle and dance

Racing above the horizon

Teaching with lessons

Shining with purpose

The path entered shall never be crossed the same way twice

The truth taught and learned carries different meaning

Carries different purpose

She waited and learned her truth

She waited and made her judgement

Smiling she crosses the void

The lonely star still in sight

With this vision

She turns and says,

.

“good bye”

.

Darkness fades

The evening rests

Daylight softly enters

At daybreak she appears