Absence

Hollowed echos shatter the silence

My heart and body are filled

My soul has cleared 

And now I wait

for fate

to deliberate

my future…

 

When the time is right I shall return. I miss this place, it was my home. Circumstances change and life grows, one day I shall return, hopefully soon and when I do I shall be different. We shall see. For now, for the few who still come, we shall meet again. Until then, be well my friends.

 

Enreal

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Dreams of Love

Dream/ 1: a series of thoughts, images or emotions occurring during sleep 2: a dreamlike vision 3: something noted for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality 4: ideal
Dream/ 1: to have a dream of 2: to indulge in daydreams or fantasies 3: imagine

During night or day, during sleep or relaxation, we drift… sometimes we see another world where our lives are different…sometimes we see our lives perfect…or simply we dream. We dream of ideal circumstances… believing in all, and all believing in us as if everything we believe doesn’t exist at all.
They say we need our dreams, that short time when we slip into unconsciousness, we need that time to take hold of our emotions and funnel them into the belief that there is something else that exists.

The truth of the matter is we dream, we visualize and conceptualize life, circumstances upon circumstances which in most cases makes little to no sense at all. Yet, we are told to, “read into our dreams”, “interpret and analyze” the hell out of them, until we see an elephant as an admission of guilt for hating our mothers, or something as ridiculous as that. Dreams are an escape, or a gateway to that life which we seek. Dreams enable us to be that hero we naturally are not, to fly which naturally we can not do, or to be as we would never be. I live for my dreams; they are my gateway to heaven.

I dreamed a dream so full of passion…unconventional passion for life, and love… it made me want to die for I fear shall never feel that ever again… or worse, forget the reality of it…

Passion/ 2: strong feeling; also Pl: the emotions are distinguished from reason 3: RAGE, ANGER 4: LOVE; also; an object of affection or enthusiasm 5: sexual desire- passionate.

What other word could hold such a large variety of meaning? One definition would capture the huge scope of human plight and want all at once. Passion is what we seek for fulfillment in life, whether it is passion for what we do and create or passion for what we are and who we love.

This dream is simple, to feel passion for love, passion for life. To want to know of love as in the stories. To want to be the damsel in distress saved by some prince charming, simply because we all need love. We all need to feel. We are given such a short time, before the sun sets on our horizon we need to reach for more, forget about loss and capture what there is to gain. There is always love. To believe in love…

Love

Love 1: strong affection 2: warm attachment 3: an attraction based on sexual desire 4: a beloved person
Love 1: CHERISH 2: to feel passion, devotion, or tenderness for 3: CARESS 4: to take pleasure in

The types of love we seek daily, love from…parents, spouses, lovers, colleagues, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

We seek love everyday, we need to be felt for the way we feel for others. Even the most cold hearted will feel love for something, crudely put, an example being money if nothing else.

Sometimes you need to see the truth in order to move forward. This is simple. I believed that there was no love out there, only what you read about or saw in the movies. In the past it seemed that there was a possibility for love, chivalry and romance. In today’s society there is only desire for sex and emptiness in romance. If love songs and movies are for the dreamers and do not exist out of the scope of these fictional things, then answer why we listen, or why we watch, or why everyday we hope?

This arose from a dream… A dream of love lost… a dream of love found… a dream of no love at all… but alas it was just a dream… and like all dreams, you eventually wake…

Let us venture into dreams once again… it is safe… if only for another infinite journey through love lost

What do you believe in?

If you truly search deep inside you will find what you believe in… and you will understand why.

God

There is this woman I know, she is not very close to me, yet she is in my life. Sometimes she shows herself as good and other times she shows an ugliness that is not acceptable. I will tell you a short, sad story.

When my father passed away we sat and talked, she wasn’t trying to console me, she was simply thinking out loud. She spoke of her fathers’ passing [25 years prior] and how she feared death. She is religious in a conventional way, yet I came to find out she doesn’t believe in God. The sadness I felt for my situation turned into a sadness for her. I tried to ask her and find a reasoning, yet there was none. She simply didn’t believe. As I went about trying to deliver the beauty I find, even in the darkest of times, in the few minutes of attention I had left with her, she told me not to bother “I simply don’t believe, when we die, that’s all there is”. I have thought back on that conversation many a times. No matter my hardships or my doubts, I am blessed to have what I have…

This was brought on by a dream I had. This woman is older than me by at least 30 years. I dreamt that she was dying, I came to find her and she appeared to be choking. No one would help her, they were letting her die… but there was something there in her fear filled eyes that forced my need to help, and there were signs that gave me clues on how to… really, really bizarre… it was the fear… it was the fear that made me want to give her more time… give her time to find something, anything… if not God, then at least Peace

It is a sad and scary thing when you are alone with no personal truths.

Love

I believe in love. A simple statement. I believe in love because I feel it. I’m not referring to romance or desire, those are your mind. I’m talking about soul bearing  love.  The type of love you feel deep inside. When you look at your loved ones and truly think about how much you need them. How much you love them.

(There’s a lot of love in that paragraph, sorry)

When you think of the ones you have lost, and your heart is throbbing and it feels as if it will never abate. You miss them and it feels as if your heart is breaking… that is love.

Love comes in many forms, some of which are not happy. It can cause many things, some which can cause pain. I believe in Love, it is probably, in my opinion one of the greatest forces which exist.

We all know love in some form, if we try to understand it… it simply grows.

I was going to say life, because I do believe in life. I believe in the majesty and wonder. I believe that it is not all chance. I believe that we should cherish and truly see what we have before us. It is magic. So I could have said I believe in magic, or perhaps an enchantment with the surrounding worlds, but I chose existence.
You see we are alive, we are all breathing, living, thinking creatures. But all this matters not if we are unaware. Awareness is Existence. One day we will be gone, some will have had children, others will have had friends, the time spent will be remembered. But as all things eventually fade and memories turn to histories with little reference to the everyday person.
 I believe in Existence, they kind you are consciously aware of. In the end, all you have is you and your experiences, your love and your memories.
I could go on with all the things I believe in, yet I know that most are due God, Love and Existence. So I thank these three and leave them be.
What do you believe in?

I wait

My face stings from the tears I yearned for… my mind splits from the knowledge I ran towards… my heart pains for the love I hid from… My soul aches simply to go home… 

 

Take me home… to my love… 

Free me from my mind. The mind of judgement with burdens too heavy… with implications too grand… 

Free me from my expectations. The expectations of others crash before my eyes… shedding shards that bleed my heart… that bleed my mind…

Free me from my tears… Shed for healing, yet come reeling in with fears

 

Escape these thoughts… throbbing through my head

Escape these visions…  with veils and shadows falling in my stead

 

Take me home… to where they wait with open arms… take me now… before I do more harm…

 

My eyes heavy… I see my love…

My mind is cloudy… as the sky above

For now I wait until dawn 

When the sun rises

All will be gone…

 

 

Until then my love… 

I wait