Stay

What would say,

if I asked you to stay

And be with me

All of me

.

I Scream

Shout, Cry

I Lie

And one day soon, 

I shall Die

.

So will you?

Stay, I mean

Until the time,

when I get tired of you

.

Would you tire of me?

With all the tears,

I can’t tell how many years.

For it could be mere days and weeks

I don’t know

I wish I did,

for then you would be

partially free

.

Please

I’m lost

Would you guide me

through this maze

It is haunting and real

And nothing heals

there is too much to feel

I rant

.

I can’t imagine where it began

Perhaps in the infinite end

Were you ever my friend

I can’t begin to descend

Until I know

.

This could be it.

This could be the beginning

Than Answer I chase

I’m on the edge of the world

lights coming and flowing

I know I am alone

Who shall carry this for me

if not by me

I know I am alone

.

Not even I 

would stay

There is my answer

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In the shadows

Tell me now

where you go

when I ignore you

Are you alone

within your home

So I can’t see you

And while you’re there

do you swear 

that I can’t hear you

I promise you 

forever true

that I do need you

The walls crumble and fade

yet there you remain

ever the same

For no one can break you

.

Not I 

For I have tried

all the while I cried

I do feel you

.

As a part thats been broken

that part is still inside

no matter how hard I try

cry

lie

Until I die

I will feel

hear

need

and

love

you

.

Be it ever the same

everyday

In the shadows you will stay

until the day

I can truly free you

.

I’m sorry

Missing

I tell myself that one day I won’t miss you

I catch myself looking for traces,

One day I will accept that I shut you out

I made the decision and I took the easy road

I tell myself that one day I will be happy

I tell myself,

But I don’t listen

I think back upon the years which led me to today. All the roads. All the decisions. All the meaningless and endless twists and fated moments. I think back as I do every single day. Why? Because I miss her. I still think I hear her. I catch glimpses of her smile and her eyes. When I try to focus, she’s gone once more. So I suppose today symbolizes her. I know she knows how sorry I am, but alas, the path has been traveled. She was left behind. One day I will be happy. If she forgives and returns to me. For now I will continue to think back upon the years which led me to today. Today and everyday.

Lost and Mingled

Close enough to see, the withering reflection. The ripples upon the mirrored surface. Keeping up with our expectations. Your expectations. Who would listen if not you. I stopped a long time ago. The day, the hour, I don’t quite remember. I just know that I stopped. It was easier that way. Easier to go with you down that road.

 

Was it a lie?

Only to myself.

 

I walked away from you, with you. I made the choice and now I don’t know how to retrace the steps. I don’t know how to get you back. Penance, apologies, prayers, tears… nothing works. Even honesty… perhaps it was cowardice which failed us… I don’t remember.

 

The truth is I truly don’t remember the reason. I remember lying, fighting, trying to keep you quiet. I remember it being easier to hide you. Every week I let a piece of you go silent. I let you follow and in turn I let you lose your voice.. I know you are here with me, watching and silent.

 

I know it is your voice which is silent, though you shout out through the words. It is a relief that they keep coming, for when our words and thoughts mingle and I forget which it is which is speaking it makes me sad and happy. Who was speaking Enreal? Was it you or me?

 

Deaf and Forgotten

Do you hear it? the forever. there are things that are true and there are those things which are false. Watch them, the waves of song, the voice ,that ethereal sound. the screaming inside. the fire. the soul breaking shatter. It grips you and shakes your soul. Pleading.

Do you hear it? the yearning. there are things which remain unspoken and there are things which are and will forever be broken. Watch them, the traces of light, the glance which steals it path through and throughout the unfortunate dreamers. gone are the dreams, frozen. the time stopping fear of being lost. Lost in waiting to be heard.

Can you hear anything anymore? how can one choose to be deaf to it? I know how, and I forgot how to listen. Do you care anymore?

 

Whether I care is irrelevant. I have listened, I have heard and I have spoken. The Forgotten are the Lonely. Remember that.

Storms

 

“Tell me more about the impending storm, it will rage, I feel it, yet I can not explain its nature.”

She sat back, her gaze fixed out the large windows in the center room. They focused on the darkness looming in the near distance. She sighed and began again.

“What is it about storms? They bring signs and bring warning, yet once they are upon us, they leave nothing. They batter and deplete their surroundings, leaving only the strongest to stand. The rest to recover and grow once more with time”

I simply couldn’t come up with something appropriate to answer. So I sat silent. Watching. Listening.

“Do you see? Tell me you see! Tell me you understand the nature. Tell me you know of the strength it takes to withstand a storm. I know you can see it, do you know it, can you feel it?”

With this she sat and gazed sadly out the window. I gazed sadly out the window. In silence I turned to her mirrored reflection and simply watched, waiting for the thoughts and swell to pass… I wanted so much to answer, but I knew she would know.

I was feeling for the answers, reaching for the courage to face my other… I was grasping for something. Anything. And then I began,

“The storm is upon us now, it shall pass. I know not how long it will last, I know only of the warnings and signs of which you speak. I know only of the hallowed reflection I gaze upon in that mirror… and as storms pass, so do the reflections of moments which matter. I see you now… but do I?”

I stopped. As I stood there, looking in the direction of my outstretched arm. I saw it, once more. I saw it for what it had become. What it was going to be. I saw its nature.

Would I let it be? That is the question. That is the reality.

“… through the window you see me, you see what I do not. You see the storm, feel the power, feel the meaning… and know… yet what I feel is so much greater. It burns in my hallowed chest. It rings in my detached thoughts. The truth. I see its nature. Yet to see is not enough. To feel is not enough. It is in understanding that we truly can be…”

“Truly can be what?”

Her voice rang clearly in the silence of my mind. Her eyes were haunting my thoughts. Her gaze penetrating.

“You know.”

I simply watched  the seconds passed as she reflected, the minutes as she mused and then she knew. A faint smile graced her beautiful face. I felt better. So then did she.

“Yes… I suppose I do…”

With that she turned back to her window in the center room. The rain had begun.