A shadow remains

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I have been searching for your light

The eternity you’ve shined

Once upon my life

Once upon my death

The death I faced when you left

~

Why is it that now I see

through the eyes

as shadowed and disguised

Why is it now you say

you never went away

~

I know, yet I care not

for the reasons you give

pain me more the longer I live

You granted me sight once

Now you expect me to stay

humbled and chained

to my realities

which became

changed

into dreams

~

Think me crazy,

what I thought I knew

now I see anew

Was it but an angels shadow

cast upon the ground

~

Or simply a vision

A dream

A wish

A whisper

A fading hope

That one day we will live

Remember

Remember when the shadows danced upon mirrored waters,

The forest swayed in anticipation of your dreams.

Remember when the stars whispered to your soul,

The oceans tide waved hello.

Remember when the moon would only shine for your heart to feel,

The moon would wane and wax for your joy was real…

Do you remember when? For it was only yesterday in my minds eye. It is not in the distant past I recall the sounds of nature. It was yesterday, we were children… waiting in anticipation for the magic of this life and the next… but alas, the next came to soon… I can not remember the minute when it came. The sounds of an awakening slumber. But it came, seemingly short and important. The importance shifted… the magic faded as a mirage will when water is consumed. What then… what is this water we drink… I wish to purge and remain in that blissful state. Wonder and merriment followed us as children. For I do remember when I would smile… it was before this certain awareness…

Remember the sounds of silence,

The way the wind would echo the laughter of angels.

Remember the light,

The way even the tiniest rainbow would lay captured within the walls of crystals… showing the way to freedom was in our eyes

Remember the rain,

The thunder and lightening would try to frighten us… yet we knew the truth behind the storm Remember the snow, The wind and white… it was never cold

How we live in this world and alone experienced these gifts… these treasures of time… do you remember? I pray we shall never forget…

It’s been so long…

It has been so long since I put my words on these pages… a friend of mine reminded me of who I used to be.

I just wanted to say this… You were meant to write and share it with the world. You don’t have to give away your soul in place of motherhood.  And there is no greater gift that you can give your children than allowing them to see their mother pursue their purpose… You were given such a gift. You have a beautiful spirit and I truly love you. 

 This woke me up a little… I normally do not write of personal things, however I suppose it is appropriate given the circumstances of where I mean to go… I mean to start anew. If not for me… for my son. I used to feel my soul on these pages, she used to sing and laugh and I swear I used to watch her dance… Now she is wandering, waiting for me to call her home, to the missing feeling I have deep down.

Until we meet again, (soon)

Enreal

Broken things remembered

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What would you have me do

Sit here simply and dream of you

While my days decay and wander

While my nights betray as I ponder,

your fate.

.

Life is changing

I need you here

Time is fading the memory I once had so clear

and I fear

I may never have you near

again

.

it has been a long while

since I felt or seen your smile

it has been so many years

as I have cried and hidden tears

and now I hear

Time’s toll the bells of years

.

how can I call the future what it is

it holds many possibilities

all of which are dreams

and things

which are broken…

.

Or are they?

Perhaps my mind

or

my vision

is fractured

For Now

Embers

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“This place in my dream, is the reason I still breathe. For I yearn to return and leave reality to burn. I care only of what I once knew, what I once did and how I once lived. Yet when I wake it is only an ember I take. And now I am tired. Now I want it all”

~

Venture to this place

Only you and me

A wonderful state

A place where you are free

~

A land beyond darkness

A place of peace and sight

A sanctuary for thought

A temple of infinite right

~

I take you here

Yet the time is not yours

I show this place to you

For you have battled many wars

This place is ours

You have lived before

You have knelt on high

Bowed on every floor

~

This kingdom is home

One which you will return

For the time is not now

I show for I know  you yearn

~

We all must live

Answer to the call

Learn the answers and determine the reason

For it all

With the answers,

time does stall

memory does fail

and life gets frail

But with the answers have faith

you knew the path,

that you would take

the journey is not so adventurous,

for life indeed is perilous

with it comes consequence, yet take not the chance

For no one truly knows if indeed, that is how we get home…..

~

We must go

Leave this place

Return you back

A new day to face

~

Just take with you an ember of memory

Just take with you

A peace of time

You will not recall

The journey or the fall

~

Just have faith and believe

Some things are too great for the mind to conceive

A place called Dream

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What a pleasure to have Silence here.

To be so close and have Sadness near.

They are my friends, my enablers, my addiction.

They bring along Memory time and time again, we have made a bond, which many find wrong. They say, “leave her, she will only hold you down.” I say never, “I am stronger with her around”.  My foundation was all but nothing and now is built upon her own, she shows me things and I find I have grown.

~

Now Memory and I  leave behind Silence and Sadness and find Life and Death in the other room. Waiting, watching, no reasons, no rhymes… simply observing the passing of Time…

~

Time sees Memory as clearly as day, leaves Life and Death for a momentary stay, “what have you to say?”

Memory responds, “the same as yesterday, I can not remember your beginning, it is beyond my way, perhaps your company has led you astray. Find the other which fathered Life, find the other who birthed death. Ask the one who knows, for it is beyond my depth”

I watch as Time scattered away, frantic and pacing ever which way. I watched it look over Life and Death, agitated and waiting for a respond or perhaps thinking of their beginnings…

~

We returned to Sadness and Silence. Serenity and Calm entered. I turned to leave and find the name of this place.Looking at Memory I asked, “Where are we and when can I return?”

With an invisible smile Memory said, “It is a place called Dream, you can visit anytime you remember”

The end of forever

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So Alive

eternal

and beautiful

as we move

together

in the night

this night

forever

.

Inanimate

transient

still beautiful

still together

in the day

this day

forever

.

arms raised

warmth

as she shines

first towards

then inside

me

forever

.

yet tell me now, this forever… when will it begin?

will it remain after our final breath?

will it transcend the logic of our presence?

tell me now, what is this it… and can she even be stopped?

Can she see and breath in the answer?
Or is she the answer?

This forever began when it ended within her mind…

.

Let it end I say,

for these dreams of eternity

Are simply dreams.

When we wake we find

life is finite.

and  she holds it

as she holds everything

.

What is it?

Who is she?
Or should I say He?

The ending of forever

.