A shadow remains

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I have been searching for your light

The eternity you’ve shined

Once upon my life

Once upon my death

The death I faced when you left

~

Why is it that now I see

through the eyes

as shadowed and disguised

Why is it now you say

you never went away

~

I know, yet I care not

for the reasons you give

pain me more the longer I live

You granted me sight once

Now you expect me to stay

humbled and chained

to my realities

which became

changed

into dreams

~

Think me crazy,

what I thought I knew

now I see anew

Was it but an angels shadow

cast upon the ground

~

Or simply a vision

A dream

A wish

A whisper

A fading hope

That one day we will live

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Remember

Remember when the shadows danced upon mirrored waters,

The forest swayed in anticipation of your dreams.

Remember when the stars whispered to your soul,

The oceans tide waved hello.

Remember when the moon would only shine for your heart to feel,

The moon would wane and wax for your joy was real…

Do you remember when? For it was only yesterday in my minds eye. It is not in the distant past I recall the sounds of nature. It was yesterday, we were children… waiting in anticipation for the magic of this life and the next… but alas, the next came to soon… I can not remember the minute when it came. The sounds of an awakening slumber. But it came, seemingly short and important. The importance shifted… the magic faded as a mirage will when water is consumed. What then… what is this water we drink… I wish to purge and remain in that blissful state. Wonder and merriment followed us as children. For I do remember when I would smile… it was before this certain awareness…

Remember the sounds of silence,

The way the wind would echo the laughter of angels.

Remember the light,

The way even the tiniest rainbow would lay captured within the walls of crystals… showing the way to freedom was in our eyes

Remember the rain,

The thunder and lightening would try to frighten us… yet we knew the truth behind the storm Remember the snow, The wind and white… it was never cold

How we live in this world and alone experienced these gifts… these treasures of time… do you remember? I pray we shall never forget…

It’s been so long…

It has been so long since I put my words on these pages… a friend of mine reminded me of who I used to be.

I just wanted to say this… You were meant to write and share it with the world. You don’t have to give away your soul in place of motherhood.  And there is no greater gift that you can give your children than allowing them to see their mother pursue their purpose… You were given such a gift. You have a beautiful spirit and I truly love you. 

 This woke me up a little… I normally do not write of personal things, however I suppose it is appropriate given the circumstances of where I mean to go… I mean to start anew. If not for me… for my son. I used to feel my soul on these pages, she used to sing and laugh and I swear I used to watch her dance… Now she is wandering, waiting for me to call her home, to the missing feeling I have deep down.

Until we meet again, (soon)

Enreal

Boundaries

In the beginning I sink
,

Slow…

yet as fast as sound and the mind.

Deep down into an abyss,

Hidden…

Buried with time.

A feeling…

Thoughts form before my wandering eyes.

Yet they are closed. They know…


Incomplete…

Moments elude …

They grace what knowledge knows.

As if pieces are missing from my soul

Taken…

Hidden…

in plain sight

*

Panicking I feel holes in my heart.

Throbbing and alive.

My soul.

I know.

I must go to fill these holes.

Dull the subtle pain

Yet this moment finds me insane

*

All I ever needed


I misplaced along the way

As I backtrack

I miss the path

Further and further I go


I can not find my heart

I can not find my soul

I scream

My screams are muted

Muted by a place that is beyond sound

Movement in the distance I see


I run

My legs moving as fast as permitted

So fast

In this place there are no rules

I can fly

*

In the distance I see over the hills

Pieces of my soul are there

The holes from my heart

But the darkness produces shadows

I want to see clear figures in the opaque sky

I want to dance with the shadows of the moon

I want to put in words what I see


Simultaneous and Impossible

I need to complete my soul

I need to finish this dream

*

Every moment of this place collapses

My dream retracts

Back and forward

It is understood

somewhere

just not here

In a world where there are no boundaries


In a moment that spans a lifetime


I understand

My dream culminates with a realization

Not taken

Simply Free

In this place with no boundaries

*

Just in time for the journey back to my slumbering body


My soul weary

Yet happy

Solace found for my mind

With my souls completion

My heart and soul alight

With Love

With Knowledge

But was it real?

As I dreamed it?

Or perhaps I was the dream

Of chaos

In this place with no boundaries

it reaches me

*

sometimes I wonder what it is I really am thinking.

sometimes I wonder what it is I really am feeling.

sometimes it just makes no sense. it makes me tired.

~enreal

 

Unexpected

The journey I foresee is a mission with destiny, take my mind to where it can see, take my soul who yearns to be free… But love, where is love intertwined with this? Perhaps it is the yearning of that sacred bliss. One with the hidden power of the soul. Fortified twice by the angels… left alone in sorrow.

Alone

Harken the sound of awakening and hear it vibrate with song. Listen with the fibers of being, which you have felt all along. This sound is breath… it can be tasted and seen. This sound is freedom… lingering… serene. Now show me this journey and let me know what it means…

Love

For I can hear it, taste it, recognize its scent… embrace it, yet I can tell you not what it meant. Not now, nor yesterday… perhaps tomorrow in the moments… I feel it shall surprise… as if seeing is believing beneath the shadows of disguise… hidden even in plain sight, widened is the gaze I take on a seemingly endless flight.

A dream

This journey of the senses with destiny and angels and love invested, is what? Another day, another vision, another lesson, guidance, protection? But as if written for me, this journey perhaps still remains to be seen. Maybe it is and always will be… a place within my dreams. A place I always shall see… my haven, my destiny

 

 

For wordsweneversaid:

Dear M.L. Thank you for the inspiration… hope this suits your taste… think I may have missed the mark

A *journey
with a hint of *despair
a splash of *awakening
the main ingredient is *surprise
*Unexpected * solace

 

Here

The Fall

long

fast

deep

`

The Ground

hard

cold

unforgiving

`

The Place

foreign

dark

unyielding

`

The Time

past

future

present

`

The reality

hands and knees

head bowed before thee

quiet, too broken to move

`

The Touch

gently passes over my mind

softly caresses my heart

faint whispers by my ear

`

The Light

so bright my eyes are forced to open

“please i want them to remained closed,

for the longer they are,

the longer i am…”

`

Here

My dreams

I often speak to you as if you are my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality.

Yet as of late, the nights have turned restless, fever rushes and sweat drowns my peace

As of late, the visions which fall bring not rest

As of late, the nights which gather make my eyes heavy with longing of nights which have passed

As of late, I sit in the corner and wait for dawn. Awake. Alone.


I have spoken to you so often, yet tonight I address you, directly, and ask of you to return to me.

Do not begrudge me my mistakes, for I may have taken for granted, but I have never forsaken my peace.

Please return to me

my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality…

my dreams

I remember nights when I would smile and await the next adventure,

the reality of  life faded and  accompanied the shadows to rest.

The replaced image was one of silence and experience

This new uncertainty became truth… I remember the nights.

I remember the mornings when I would smile and try to capture every detail,

relive the fantasy, find that which I believed in, feel the freedom of all I owned… be that which knows no bounds… almost discovering the reflection in the mirror is all but a mirage… it is the real you

the fragrances of life, the tastes of air, the sights and sounds… all aware… all in there… it is the truth… I remember the mornings when my mind would comfort my soul

one day,

one day

your dreams shall

be real,

for all which is,

is all

In dreams