The coward and the prince

 

Come look for me, for I have not the strength to leave

Come look for me, for I have no will, no freedom

Come look for me, for I wait in my tower, a prisoner of my mind

 

Afraid for love

Afraid for pain

Alone in pride

Alone in shame

 

Come find me, I feel as though my eternity has passed

For I have not the courage to forever forsake the mask

Come find me, it is all that I ask

 

Be it Love… simple it may be

A coward awaits the prince, 

All fools for love

Never shall they see

Oh bliss, 

come and share the veil with me…

Evolution of thought and conversation

The perfect conversation… it sometimes begins with a moment of silence. A glance, or perhaps a daydream interrupted by reality… you are there, and the thought shyly enters the precipice of the mind… ready to take the plunge.

“Will I make an impact?” the thought softly thinks to itself…

“perhaps, lets give it a try”… 

The journey begins… “I wonder…” the thought formulates into reason.

“If you could travel to the end of the universe to learn one truth… to gain the meaning and reason behind one question… what would it be?”

The thought is satisfied… its part is finished in this journey… the rest is up to the mind. The evolution of the thought… the path it must journey to please the mind… 

 

They all sit, now fully aware that the journey is about to begin. The journey will be long and reach far beyond expectation… it always does… The time and energy spent will be rewarded with a smile, an understanding, a knowledge… the butterflies of the mind.

“Is there an Edward out there for me?”the group understands… She speaks of Love… holding a connection with another so pure and beautiful it can only be defined by an intangible thought. Soul Mates… what a beautiful thought… to dream the potential of love… to feel the necessity and to hold hope… but what of Love… a love so pure it transcends… this question traveled to the ends of the universe to reach her mind… this question evolved into a discussion on Love, Hate, Need, Want… it evolved into a discussion on family and friends, reason and purpose… tis seemingly small thought touched the heart and mind softly, elegantly… 

 

“What makes it my time to go?” To speak of death… to find meaning in life… to learn to accept… or to fight to hold on… The group weighs the heaviness of this thought… the answers so quick to come, slow… We speak of lessons and explore our wants. We discuss achievement, losses, the trails we all face, our truths… do you believe we will know? Perhaps God knows…

 

“What is it all worth?” All sit, perplexed… a bit smug… how often have we thought this before… yet the answers flowed purely, with no sarcasm, spoken simply with true meaning… “the bottom line”, “moments”, or perhaps the moment of pure insight, “You won’t know until it happens”. Brilliant!

 

“Why do we learn more from pain? Pain becomes a scar, yet happiness is a memory.” A discussion turns into one of individual trials and triumphs. Evolves into the beauty of the thought… the truth in it… Learning, processing, taking all there is to take… This was deep.

 

“Why must we face fears, my greatest fear is…”  As the group descends down this painful path we all come to face with a fear… “loss of parent”, “not receiving love” “not living life” “coming up short, not living up to my potential” “relearning mistakes”… we all share and contemplate… There is a moment when we are unburdened by our fears… perhaps it came when we faced and looked into the darkest place of our souls… for we try so desperately to hide our fears… “perplexing, when we all must live with them… they affect no other than self… Why do we hide?”

 

I had my first meeting last thursday… as you can tell it went exceptionally well… I gained so much energy and knowledge it was amazing… Tomorrow I will be holding the second “perfect conversation club” meeting. I have already begun my journey with this,  it is hopefully going to be in my life for sometime. I share with you these questions and answers in hope that you share some of your own, both questions and answers. Look forward to a chat… Thanks for taking this journey with me!

New Year Dreams…

As many of you know I am always searching for the perfect conversation… it is the inspiration behind one of my dream books… I have been working on  4 different books… I dream of being published and have been working on becoming a published author (not very hard, but I am writing… I suppose that is the important part). It has always been a dream of mine… but alas, reality dictates I must work and earn a living for myself. How I would love to be at home and be able to write and read and learn my life away…

 

This year  I am trying to make one of my dreams a reality… I have journals and manuscripts and am self editing daily… keeping up with this world and my imaginary one is taxing, but I can not complain… I love to be here and in my mind… I prefer to be in my dreams, but we all know how real reality is… 

 

So back to my perfect conversations… I have had many… many have been written here on these journal pages… all of my friends from this medium have enriched my life beyond words… the insights shared here have outshone my work in many ways…and at many times. Thank you. 

 

This all came from my sisters recent visit… she was visiting from Florida. Her and I have perfect conversations at ease… we discuss life and purpose… happiness and meaning… we reach deep into sense and try to answer our minds… always when she leaves I feel disheartened. It is difficult to have a conversation with someone… let alone what I search for… the perfect conversation has to have that spark… that deep desire for knowledge… it should leave you with butterflies in your mind, like you have touched upon some wisdom, some deep knowledge… 

So I came up with an idea… it happened today at work… I was pondering a recent addition to my works and asked a friend for her thoughts… I began on my conversation hoping for some input , some spark… and it came… why not create the perfect conversation… make it a reality… create the setting, ambiance, and have a discussion… choose a topic and let it flow… it is research and it begins on Thursday!!! I invited some friends over and hope the magic will follow… I know it will… They have been informed that this is research… they have been informed that I need input … they have been willingly dragged into my scheme…  🙂

 

So now I drag you 🙂 I have made a list of topics to tackle… truth be told all I want is for them to think… to dive into their minds… let them give some input on their beliefs… on their thoughts… what makes them happy, sad… what would they ask if they had just one question… those kind of things. Should make for some fun… how often are we asked? So for anyone who is interested… what would you like to talk about… The Perfect Conversation Club

Discussions will follow…


I am excited… thank you for bearing with me over the past few weeks… it has been dark, but now I see the lights… it has come from all over… it has come from your hearts… I love all of you… Peace!

For My Father

I sit here and wait… wait for the day. Thursday December 18th will be two years… Two years my since my father passed on… went home. The first year was the hardest I find… as time passed I learned to look at life and death differently. My views have changed, in part of his death and in part of what I see after his passing…

On Sunday I went to the cemetery… our family gathered for a memorial. During this time there was a prayer said… as I looked around all heads were bowed… jackets pulled tight, guarding … protecting from the cold… gazes sorrowful, melancholy heavy in the air…  the air carried bitter cold and sadness… and then,  then it happened… what I have been praying for… my sign… and I do believe it was… I felt warmth and my thoughts turned to him…  for a moment the seemingly overcast winter sky opened up… the sun shone brightly… I felt warm… I felt light… I looked around to see if anyone else felt the same… but alas… they missed my joy… one day they shall know what I know… believe what I believe… one day…


So today I say live and be thankful… live in the memories of those who passed… live with the knowledge of the memories we form today, with our loved ones… live with them and take thanks and know you are blessed with each and every moment… live with the feelings of wonder and uncertainty… for the uncertainty is life… so live with life… 

I shall always miss my father… I shall shed many more tears when milestones arrive, when I need his guidance… when I miss his presence… I shall weep for his passing, yet from now on they are my selfish tears… for I know now that he is here and he is always watching… I feel his love in me… the same love he shared with us… I shall share… 


My father loved me and my sisters… my nephew… and he would have loved my newest nephew… And we loved him. Life was hard for him and through it all he had always the greatest appreciation for it. I wish I had half the strength to live as he did, I wish I had half of the passion he had, I wish I had more time…

Dedication to my father

I know life had been hard on you
If I could have had just one wish
I would have carried your burden

Now I could only wish…
I could see your face again
Look upon your sad eyes

See your empty gaze
Hold your cold hands

Things haven’t been the same
When you left, you took the part of my soul that belonged to you

It took too long for me to understand
What we all belong to is something else

We belong to Life
Not the other way around.

Until we meet again…I love you daddy

 

The Man and His Sun

Oedipus From Time To Time

21 Days in Paradise/~ Day 20

21 Days in Paradise

 

These I wrote in dedication to my father

For Love of Father

A year

Unconditional Love

A myth

The Origin of Light

 

Native American Lore

 



In the early times, there was only darkness; there was no light at all. At the edge of the sea a woman lived with her father. One time she went out to get some water. As she was scraping the snow, she saw a feather floating toward her. She opened her mouth and the feather floated in and she swallowed it. From that time she was pregnant.

Then she had a baby. It’s mouth was a raven’s bill. The woman tried hard to find toys for her child. In her father’s house was hanging a bladder that was blown up. This belonged to the woman’s father. Now the baby, whose name was tulugaak (Raven), pointed at it and cried for it. The woman did not wish to give it to him but he cried and cried. At last she gave in and took the bladder down from the wall and let the baby play with it. But in playing with it, he broke it. Immediately, it began to get light. Now there was light in the world, and darkness, too.

When the woman’s father came home, he scolded his daughter for taking the bladder down from the wall and giving it to the child. And when it was light, tulugaak had disappeared.


an Alaskan Myth from the Inuit

 

There is always some truth behind myths, some knowledge which one receives from the heavens to share for eternity… a tale to live forever in our minds… to grow in thought and escape into freedom… Words to inspire great vision… a great vision we can journey towards… it is in these visions, these myths… these tales which inspire us to bring forth salvation and great possibilities…


Let us create through thought… let us live through visions… let us believe in myths and fairy tales… We were given our minds… our hearts… the capacity for such greatness…Let us believe in something…

Silent Night

The sky is ever so fair

Stars glisten, blissfully unaware

The ray of orange surpassing their might

As rays of sun blind us from eternal a night

 

The wind nestles the trees

Promising release and reprieve

The onus unfair

Leaving promises forever to bear

 

Ponder these tasks upon these silent nights

Watch the light dance upon the moon sunlight

Reflect as reflections do

Shimmer and dance into something new

Yet when reflections fade

Remember it and gaze into darkenss

Sit in silence

For these are the silent nights

 

When the night is nearly spent

We watch and wait

For the dawn is the new fate

And dawn shall bring a new day

And day shall bring a new night

A silent night

We shall wait

The journey

securedownload-5

I have come a long way
Journeyed a quiet pass
Explored a closed passage
Fallen away to the past

I have learned of virtue
I have learned of pain
I have learned to be patient
even learned to tempt fate…

All my wandering
All my travels rest
I am left in solace
I am quietly blessed

For time is wisdom
Wisdom is gained
The road to discovery
Forever I paved

 

Though simple it seems

We often learn more from our dreams

To follow the everyday path

To remember the meanings have passed

To look for the journey

We must look for the pain

To look for happiness

We must be able to envision the same