the moments end

Speak softly
Listen slowly
Believe truly
It will soon pass

Watch closely
As the winds weep
And the waters grieve
Upon the summers sleep

Whisper and sigh
Let your mind cry
Think upon things

Bring forth the hidden wings

Day and night
Shadows of light
Time and place
Full of wisdoms grace

For want of nothing
For need of something
For understanding and sight
Grant us the vision, be it right

With any amount time
For any amount of space
For any given moment
With every granted space
every moment
every treasure
every smile
every pleasure

These moments are cast

Placed in the past

For all shall soon pass

But memories,

they are what last

Maybe

Maybe next time I’ll dance

Live with no limitations

Be free from my demands


Maybe next time I’ll smile

Dance with my emotions

Be free from the shadows of the sad


Maybe next time I’ll try

to simply be

For a short while

Me


Maybe next time in another place

At another point of life

Another juncture

Something new

I was daydreaming for a short while. Living in the moment, living in my dream. I was important, I was beautiful, I was full of joy, I was free from hope. For hope had succeeded, in my daydream. I was free from my fears. For a short while I was happy in my mind.

The scene finally focused and there I was… here I was… living in my reality. I thought… next life I will live… this is simply practice… seeing all I could be doing in my next life…

Then I realized

I gave up.

I give up.

Am I really ready to give up on my dreams? Am I really ready to settle? Am I really ready to wait for the next time? Am I?

All I can say is maybe I am. I am tired. I am disappointed. I had my dreams, now all I have is reality setting in. The reality that I see… is not the beautiful visions of my dreams.

Once upon a time… there lived a girl, she was special, beautiful, important… This girl was full of joy and free from fear.

One day she fell asleep and awoke in a new world… it was very strange and alien to anything she had ever seen before… it was when she gazed at her reflection did she see she was real… the scene was real… it was as true as her mind let her believe… when she tried to fall asleep to return home… she realised there was no going back, she realised the dream had been truly a dream, and this new reality was her future…

to be asleep, to be awake, to believe in what we need to see… is this what it means to be real? Or maybe we see what we need to believe…

Maybe

In another life


Maybe next time I will live

Horizons

Watching

Waiting

Gazing silently at the horizon… listening to my heart

All my thoughts escaped

At peace

All my thoughts escaped

But only for a moment

For they shall return

They shall come flooding into my mind

Harkening to my soul

Bombarding me with feelings

Regret, longing, memories, failures… want

I see it

Where I envision myself

I feel it

My Soul waits in confusion

Two lives

Two desires

One pure

One tainted

My soul waits in contemplation

It doesn’t know what to feel

So much has simply passed

time

dreams

thoughts

knowledge simply slipping though the mind

landing on the wings of an angel

My Angel

she waits

arms reaching to entrust the moments lost

“your answers”

she waits

I get tired of looking

The horizon so far away

Of all my wants

Of all my searching

I want to be complete

I want to be one

Mind and Soul

Letting the ego go

Yet it is so far

One must travel the endless journey

To meet the horizon

This journey

Is life

And life

As the horizon

is infinite

Let us live

Journey to the end of the world

It may be far

So far

It may be

Let it be

Something

Another day at work. Another day at Life. Another day that passed with little to no difference from the days which existed before… or was there something?

Was there a moment which existed, which exists now as I am writing these words? Was there a moment of reflection, of questioning, of reason which stands foremost in my mind? Is there something new?

Is it perhaps this thought which reached my mind, spoken from my soul? is it perhaps the feeling of being present. For that is how I felt as I faced my reflection in passing. As I stopped, stared and smiled. First I thought myself tired, but then I saw something. Something which spoke to my heart, from my mind. Placing reason within understanding. Something which I can not properly define… but I know. I know I am not tired anymore… I know that I am actually alright… I wanted to write “for the time being” twice… yet I did not…

I feel the smile once more… I guess it wasn’t the lighting.

perhaps

I remember a conversation I had a little while ago. One of those semi-philosophical conversations… where you stumble upon a golden nugget… a morsel of perfection… clarity even… yet as I try to recall it all, I have a hard time remembering the “aha” moment…

Lessons.

Meanings.

Truth.

Knowledge.

The meaning of it all, you understand the feelings evoked when you have a realization… and having that feeling amplified by the connection with another mind… knowing you are not alone in your mind…

What were we taught?

Think about what we know.
It was all created by us,
Language and society.
All of it is conceptualized by us.

A table is a table. The sky is the sky. The earth is earth… or is it known as something else. they are what we claim them to be… life is what we claim it to be. Perhaps the reason is because we are isolated, perhaps it is because we are alone. The closest connection we have to the universe is God… and even He is abstract…

Perhaps there is no reason other than that which we create.

A baby is born into the world
We nourish, teach and love
We raise it, as we were raised
Sometimes differently,
But most with good intentions

Sometimes along the way
A path is crossed
A child ventures the wrong direction,
That child in the future misguided,
Misguides another
This cycle, as it always is
Is Life

There is another perspective. One which involves fate… destiny… God even. The reason,

if it applies,

is none other than experience,

life,

learning,

being…

what if there is no wrong?

what if there is no right?

what if life, the series of events which have passed for thousands of years all reach this screen. generations and countless generations of blood being passed on and on… to guide you to this realization… the countless choices, mistakes, tears, years… the road which lead you here was paved with good intentions along the way… so perhaps that is life… or a infinitesimal part of it

perhaps

always perhaps

or what I claim perhaps to be

My words

Why must these words continue to come? I read them, write them, feel them… yet I am far from them.

Why must then they torment me? For so long they gave me shelter, for so long they gave me light. Why then do I forsake them as my plight?

I feel them shudder as they course through my veins, pulsing with the crimson tides that remain blue beneath the surface.

I taste them as they form on my tongue. some bitter, some sweet, some salty with the tears I can not shed, for they too have forsaken me.

I hear them crying from within, laughing from the heavens, whispering from the winds…

I see them as they merge with images, form as a painting of colors only to be melted away from the ridicule I cast myself…

I know them as I know myself… more so… I know them for their truths and they show me mine… I can not deny my words, yet they deny me… why must then do they continue to come?

I know. I am a failure to my dreams.

I know. I am a failure to my visions, to my words.

I know.  I am a failure to myself

My words, they hold so many dreams, so many wishes, so many lives, why then can they not hold mine. It pains me to leave them. I know I can not. I only wish them hear me, once.

Understand me, as I understand you. Make light your dreams, your visions, your way. Help me form my way, as I form yours.

The Din

the clatter rings obsolete against the chaos blowing in the wind, only the throb of souls remain… what of the noise? what of the message? what of the purpose of this ribbon of knowledge which weaves its trail… gentle yet strong as are the waves and water of the endless sea…

Looking left and right with eyes shut and ears covered, she cries,”it rings so loud! it is deafening! I can not make sense of this tumultuous vision… vivid and thundering…”

She implored the storm which now surrounded her, “I wish this to stop, please let me hear!”

then there was silence