A shadow remains

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I have been searching for your light

The eternity you’ve shined

Once upon my life

Once upon my death

The death I faced when you left

~

Why is it that now I see

through the eyes

as shadowed and disguised

Why is it now you say

you never went away

~

I know, yet I care not

for the reasons you give

pain me more the longer I live

You granted me sight once

Now you expect me to stay

humbled and chained

to my realities

which became

changed

into dreams

~

Think me crazy,

what I thought I knew

now I see anew

Was it but an angels shadow

cast upon the ground

~

Or simply a vision

A dream

A wish

A whisper

A fading hope

That one day we will live

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Remember

Remember when the shadows danced upon mirrored waters,

The forest swayed in anticipation of your dreams.

Remember when the stars whispered to your soul,

The oceans tide waved hello.

Remember when the moon would only shine for your heart to feel,

The moon would wane and wax for your joy was real…

Do you remember when? For it was only yesterday in my minds eye. It is not in the distant past I recall the sounds of nature. It was yesterday, we were children… waiting in anticipation for the magic of this life and the next… but alas, the next came to soon… I can not remember the minute when it came. The sounds of an awakening slumber. But it came, seemingly short and important. The importance shifted… the magic faded as a mirage will when water is consumed. What then… what is this water we drink… I wish to purge and remain in that blissful state. Wonder and merriment followed us as children. For I do remember when I would smile… it was before this certain awareness…

Remember the sounds of silence,

The way the wind would echo the laughter of angels.

Remember the light,

The way even the tiniest rainbow would lay captured within the walls of crystals… showing the way to freedom was in our eyes

Remember the rain,

The thunder and lightening would try to frighten us… yet we knew the truth behind the storm Remember the snow, The wind and white… it was never cold

How we live in this world and alone experienced these gifts… these treasures of time… do you remember? I pray we shall never forget…

It’s been so long…

It has been so long since I put my words on these pages… a friend of mine reminded me of who I used to be.

I just wanted to say this… You were meant to write and share it with the world. You don’t have to give away your soul in place of motherhood.  And there is no greater gift that you can give your children than allowing them to see their mother pursue their purpose… You were given such a gift. You have a beautiful spirit and I truly love you. 

 This woke me up a little… I normally do not write of personal things, however I suppose it is appropriate given the circumstances of where I mean to go… I mean to start anew. If not for me… for my son. I used to feel my soul on these pages, she used to sing and laugh and I swear I used to watch her dance… Now she is wandering, waiting for me to call her home, to the missing feeling I have deep down.

Until we meet again, (soon)

Enreal

the battle

Time retreats

Leaving the war to rage

As it leaves

The battle takes center stage

 .

Scenes morph

Places fade

Mind over matter

In this time
In this place

.

Silence fades to chaos

The altering of tranquility

The adjustment of time

The realizations of the mind

 .

Mind has learned its lessons

Entering between these forces

Time understands

Its control slowly lessens

.

Existing as a fragment

The sides face to face

Good or Evil

Mind or Heart

Soul or Body

Which is the latter

Which is the start

.

For this war is eternal

It shall never ease

This battle never ending

It brings us to our knees

 .

The days we  wage

As our thoughts exist on this page

Is between our mind

The division of our Heart

As we battle our Soul knows not its part

Be this ever the start

of the end

or

the beginning

of the eternal battle

between the limitless mind and the infinite time

.

.

.

.

.

.

I never remember the intent. The one instant for reason, be it war… prose or poetry. 

The end of forever

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So Alive

eternal

and beautiful

as we move

together

in the night

this night

forever

.

Inanimate

transient

still beautiful

still together

in the day

this day

forever

.

arms raised

warmth

as she shines

first towards

then inside

me

forever

.

yet tell me now, this forever… when will it begin?

will it remain after our final breath?

will it transcend the logic of our presence?

tell me now, what is this it… and can she even be stopped?

Can she see and breath in the answer?
Or is she the answer?

This forever began when it ended within her mind…

.

Let it end I say,

for these dreams of eternity

Are simply dreams.

When we wake we find

life is finite.

and  she holds it

as she holds everything

.

What is it?

Who is she?
Or should I say He?

The ending of forever

.

Shifting veils

There has been a change. It has been slowly progressing in this strange and numbing time.

It began softly with silence.

An unforeseen change in direction. A content agreement between time and mind. A willingness to surrender to simplicity, rather than befriending mastery.

It has grown to become a veil. 

Mirrored are the truths which exist, yet resemble the dreams they do not. They simply are mirrors, hollow reflections with empty realities. You can see through and understand just enough to know there is something wrong… it is in the air, it vibrates with happiness and love, yet throbs with reality… when will the throb of will and want be silenced ? This hollow cavity which now bears the soft prompting of  truth…

Now all that remains are reminders.

The gentle whispers on the conscious wind speaking softly to the heart, asking carefully for the spirit which now slumbers to awaken once more.

The dancing light radiating down, reflecting energy to the minds all around, playing tricks of colors through the waters and the ground, visible now only to the eye which has been resting for this time.

The constant presence which protects and shadows… always there. Waiting for the heart to feel, the eye to see, the mind to open… the spirit to be free

Soft reminders, barely heard, only just seen, hardly felt… that is all which remains… Yet they are, even if only just…

This silent veil, it is known… yet barely understood… why then is it accepted?

Senses Fail

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I

Hiding behind their luminescent veil

Eyes gather

Their senses fail

Do you see her?

Down on her knees

Do you feel her?

All the while ignoring her pleas.

She is here

Waiting for you

She is dying

But this you knew

For this she waited

Your heart

Your mind

She is within you

Or are you blind

While she cried

By your minds door

While she died

On your hearts floor

II

Dying

Breathing

Lying

Seeing

Matter not her eyes to you

The tears fragment a broken view

Then dawn and dusk collide

Pressing time and space aside

Leaving all to wonder why

It all began

When she cried

While she died

All who waited for her

Behind the veil

All who passed judgement

Their senses failed

III

Then she was born

Once more

Living for you

nevermore

Forgetting the senses

she never bore

Forgiving the reality

she swore

to

leave

behind

forever more