Tag Archives: God

What do you believe in?

Posted by enreal on

If you truly search deep inside you will find what you believe in… and you will understand why.

God

There is this woman I know, she is not very close to me, yet she is in my life. Sometimes she shows herself as good and other times she shows an ugliness that is not acceptable. I will tell you a short, sad story.

When my father passed away we sat and talked, she wasn’t trying to console me, she was simply thinking out loud. She spoke of her fathers’ passing [25 years prior] and how she feared death. She is religious in a conventional way, yet I came to find out she doesn’t believe in God. The sadness I felt for my situation turned into a sadness for her. I tried to ask her and find a reasoning, yet there was none. She simply didn’t believe. As I went about trying to deliver the beauty I find, even in the darkest of times, in the few minutes of attention I had left with her, she told me not to bother “I simply don’t believe, when we die, that’s all there is”. I have thought back on that conversation many a times. No matter my hardships or my doubts, I am blessed to have what I have…

This was brought on by a dream I had. This woman is older than me by at least 30 years. I dreamt that she was dying, I came to find her and she appeared to be choking. No one would help her, they were letting her die… but there was something there in her fear filled eyes that forced my need to help, and there were signs that gave me clues on how to… really, really bizarre… it was the fear… it was the fear that made me want to give her more time… give her time to find something, anything… if not God, then at least Peace

It is a sad and scary thing when you are alone with no personal truths.

Love

I believe in love. A simple statement. I believe in love because I feel it. I’m not referring to romance or desire, those are your mind. I’m talking about soul bearing  love.  The type of love you feel deep inside. When you look at your loved ones and truly think about how much you need them. How much you love them.

(There’s a lot of love in that paragraph, sorry)

When you think of the ones you have lost, and your heart is throbbing and it feels as if it will never abate. You miss them and it feels as if your heart is breaking… that is love.

Love comes in many forms, some of which are not happy. It can cause many things, some which can cause pain. I believe in Love, it is probably, in my opinion one of the greatest forces which exist.

We all know love in some form, if we try to understand it… it simply grows.

I was going to say life, because I do believe in life. I believe in the majesty and wonder. I believe that it is not all chance. I believe that we should cherish and truly see what we have before us. It is magic. So I could have said I believe in magic, or perhaps an enchantment with the surrounding worlds, but I chose existence.
You see we are alive, we are all breathing, living, thinking creatures. But all this matters not if we are unaware. Awareness is Existence. One day we will be gone, some will have had children, others will have had friends, the time spent will be remembered. But as all things eventually fade and memories turn to histories with little reference to the everyday person.
 I believe in Existence, they kind you are consciously aware of. In the end, all you have is you and your experiences, your love and your memories.
I could go on with all the things I believe in, yet I know that most are due God, Love and Existence. So I thank these three and leave them be.
What do you believe in?

you will remember

Posted by enreal on

One day you will see,

and understand

It was always the plan.

Before you saw

Before you heard

Before you even understood

You knew the voice

You knew the burden

You accepted the choice

You expected the voice

Yet you forgot

When you were born.

.

It was always the plan,

you said you world learn

Have you?

One day you will see,

more than understand

You will remember

Apart

Posted by enreal on

 

Sometimes when I try to make sense, none can be found. I try to listen to my heart, yet it beats alone. I try to listen to my mind, yet that too is silent when my Soul comes searching. One would think they are connected, yet as of late, they are worlds apart.

.

I look towards an emptiness. Barren. Not cold, not dark, not anything.

What do you hear when there are no sounds?

Breath,

Yes.

What do you feel when you touch the ground?

Reality, or is it simply what you believe you’ve found?

What do your senses say they’ve found?

For now

They simply know not,

Or why.

This is my heart.

.

I look towards Life for answers, there are many. Yet, none seem right.

What is Life? If not Death in waiting.

What is Strife? If not happiness waiting to be found.

What is Sorrow? If not the hollowed ground within your heart able to be filled with Joy.

I do believe this, in truth I know this. Yet to know and believe serves little when one is lost.

This is my mind.

.

.

They pain you, your desires. What do they know, these simple emotions,

Hollowed words and meaningless songs

They betray you, your realities. What do they show, they are simply all you know.

One day all will be one.

This is my soul.

.

Worlds apart, yes. Yet they are the same.

Judgement

Posted by enreal on

To those who think they know me… think again.  To those who wish to bring me down… I can’t get any lower… my views on judgement

 

Who are you to judge me? Do I live up to society? Do I live up to your standards?
Do you know me? When you see me, do you assume to know how I think? If you look at me and judge, shame on you.

Shame on all who assume to know how it is to live in another life.

We all pass judgement.

We all assume to know.

But what are we looking for?

 

I wonder…
Who is to say what normal is?
To me, normal is a person who thinks about others and displays generosity and empathy towards them. Is free to live the way they choose. Who believes in God and Life as beauty. Someone who does not let society dictate how to feel. Normal to me is quiet, loving and willing to learn, open minded and simple. Has morals and is not afraid of Life. Idealistic yes, but of course.
I say that is normal…but that is me. How can I presume to know anything? When the anything I presume is a projection of my wants?

I am sure that we all think about others as being different, there is no such thing as uniformity in people and in thoughts. That is what makes life wonderful, we can spend eternity learning from one another. Why spend that time passing judgments that are created by a society who shows no mercy…We are trapped by our “ideals”. The lust and envy our society has filtered in our minds.

Why do people judge? Are we God? Only He can judge. How would you feel to have your inadequacies brought forth for others to ridicule? Do you not suffer the shame of unaccomplished dreams on some level? How does that feel? Now amplify that feeling towards all who are different. We share the same feelings, cry the same tears and breath the same air of relief at the days end for the day is over. I believe no one can be content in their lives…there is always the desire for something more…

To desire something more is natural. Life is so much more. Do not pass judgments on those who are different. We are all connected by a common thread. We are all connected on so many more levels than we can imagine. Do not judge others until you can accept judgment upon yourself.

 

I have judged myself… I know what I need to know. Why then does it still hurt to be judged?

The Veil

Posted by enreal on

Come in through the veil
Through the curtain of despair
Open the window to the world
Breathe the beauty in the air

Stop hiding behind a mirror
Show yourself to me
Cowardice does not suffice
You are me and I am Life

I confront thee
For you shadow me
I oppose thee
For you are less than me

Of whom do I speak?
Of the one whom makes us weak
Filling our minds with fallacy
Diluting our hopes and fantasies

The Villain
Is here
Hiding behind
Waiting for the moment
Until you find…

He is you
And you are me
Lest for you and I
Can open our minds
See our hopes
And remember our dreams

Hiding is our soul

Our mind was left to know

That only now does it show
That only now will it grow
For we killed the doubt
Lifted the veil and broke it out

Freed the soul
Left our spirit whole
The veil is lifted
We are gifted

Gift is knowledge
Knowledge is power
Power is free
Freedom is key…

Only Questions

Posted by enreal on

I sit and ponder my journals for hours. Trying to make sense of the senseless questioning. That is what I do. I question. I question and turn the words into poetry (if I’m lucky), sometimes an essay (if it makes sense),and sometimes nothing at all (commonly). Simply words.

 Tonight is different. My journal is making me confused. I sit here unable to focus. There is a sense of sadness, melancholia, for nothing more than waiting. Waiting for the answers to the questions.  And then the thought emerges, “perhaps my answers are answered”. Did I think out loud? I suppose I did. 

Perhaps my answers are answered, I am simply unaware of the truth, or the answers to my queries. It seems I drift to a place in my mind where the line is blurred between reality and imagination. This place we all know… it is the place from which our dreams come and then go… We watch the dreams pass by, forgetting before the meaning has a chance to resonate. 

The answers are there… 

 

The shadow of awareness divided…

 

“why do I love?”

“why do I hate?” 

“what is the meaning of all which comes my way?”

“what is the reason to my questioning?”

“why be awake to a life with little to no meaning?”

Why indeed… 

What good comes from questioning? Existence. For what have you if not the questions? It is indeed fun, the thoughts which arise are important. They cause so much in the way of life, yet they leave you wanting, waiting, for a glimpse behind the shadow of awareness.

 

I have always been a believer, “a knower”. I know what I know… it has been a journey through and through. Be it God. Be it faith. Be it Life, Reason, Truth. It is my truth. It is… and I know.  I know the purpose is to question. Ask and keep asking…and then there are times when I stop, I stop and think and question some more…

 

“why are there only questions?”

 

This time spent questioning has filled my mind with memories. I remember the first time I thought about God. I remember when I was aware of life and death. I remember thinking about my Soul. My life. My philosophies. As all these things began to formulate into my beliefs… into who I am. I remember. I am happy to remember. To be able to think and question with no answers. To believe in who I am and all the crazy things I believe are real… I am happy. 

 

“why are there only questions?”

That’s why 🙂