If you truly search deep inside you will find what you believe in… and you will understand why.
There is this woman I know, she is not very close to me, yet she is in my life. Sometimes she shows herself as good and other times she shows an ugliness that is not acceptable. I will tell you a short, sad story.
When my father passed away we sat and talked, she wasn’t trying to console me, she was simply thinking out loud. She spoke of her fathers’ passing [25 years prior] and how she feared death. She is religious in a conventional way, yet I came to find out she doesn’t believe in God. The sadness I felt for my situation turned into a sadness for her. I tried to ask her and find a reasoning, yet there was none. She simply didn’t believe. As I went about trying to deliver the beauty I find, even in the darkest of times, in the few minutes of attention I had left with her, she told me not to bother “I simply don’t believe, when we die, that’s all there is”. I have thought back on that conversation many a times. No matter my hardships or my doubts, I am blessed to have what I have…
This was brought on by a dream I had. This woman is older than me by at least 30 years. I dreamt that she was dying, I came to find her and she appeared to be choking. No one would help her, they were letting her die… but there was something there in her fear filled eyes that forced my need to help, and there were signs that gave me clues on how to… really, really bizarre… it was the fear… it was the fear that made me want to give her more time… give her time to find something, anything… if not God, then at least Peace
It is a sad and scary thing when you are alone with no personal truths.
I believe in love. A simple statement. I believe in love because I feel it. I’m not referring to romance or desire, those are your mind. I’m talking about soul bearing love. The type of love you feel deep inside. When you look at your loved ones and truly think about how much you need them. How much you love them.
(There’s a lot of love in that paragraph, sorry)
When you think of the ones you have lost, and your heart is throbbing and it feels as if it will never abate. You miss them and it feels as if your heart is breaking… that is love.
Love comes in many forms, some of which are not happy. It can cause many things, some which can cause pain. I believe in Love, it is probably, in my opinion one of the greatest forces which exist.
We all know love in some form, if we try to understand it… it simply grows.
A beautiful post, Enreal. I could feel that you poured your soul into it.
As for Love, there is a reason that Christ said it is the greatest commandment, and I believe it’s because, like you said, it is one of the greatest forces in the world.
As for what I personally believe, you know I’m a Christian (hence the reference to Christ), and I believe in a grace that is unmerited and freely given. A Love that knows no bounds, that stretches as far as the East is to the West. It is in this love that I find myself captured, and I marvel at its beauty.
You told me once that you used to know, and that the memory is locked away and cherished inside.
To me, this post comes across as if that memory is trying to break free.
But perhaps I’m mistaken.
Regardless, this is, again, a beautiful post.
Nice post and tough question. I don’t believe in God as we try to define it and seem to corrupt it…but I do believe the creator has many faces…one that creates and one that destroys…destruction and creation very much linked together. Given this beautiful order yet chaos, I believe love is all the more beautiful. I would also like to believe in the human being…but let me just settle for I believe in the human potential.
another thought-provoking, and pleasure to read – post, enreal…
I once, had a blog called – “my mother is a religious nut, and my father was an atheist”… *s*. I hashed out a lot of thoughts like these there. I don’t believe in God… anymore… at least not in the way I was originally taught to believe. For a while, I struggles with labels. Am I an atheist? An agnostic? I don’ know… but, I do believe there is more than just this life… and, I wrote this on the subject some time back… not the best poem, but the sentiment still stands:
I believe that there is something, perhaps many things out there much more intelligent than us.
I also believe that love is “All and Everything”
It is indeed very lucky to know that we are not alone.