I wonder why

I wonder why when we dream, life seems so irrelevant? Why the hours of sleep feel so short… as if time matters little to the worlds we travel in the night.

I wonder why when we breathe, the air flows through our bodies as if there is no reason… simply will… as if the body is animated by its own design.

I wonder why when we feel, I mean deeply connect to raw emotions, there is that physical reality to the minds power…

the breaking of the heart from sorrow and loss

the butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous, or in love

the laughter which flows so heavily when you are happy

the tear which release when the mind knows not what to do with the flows of emotion, be it happiness or sadness…

I wonder why when we think… delve deep into the abyss we call Mind… do these things make sense. The answers and reasons we resolve delicately explain that which is unexplainable to each individual reality…

we think there for we are

All alone, yet connected by the similarities of Life… semblance to Mind… oneness to Soul…

I wonder why I wonder. Yet I am happy that I do… for so many take not the time to care, learn, think… perhaps it is the wondering we find the wonder

Listen

Can you hear me
I call to you
I am not near you
I am with you

In patience
In solitude
I am always here
Waiting for you to hear

What I would give
To be more than a voice
What I would give
To be heard
To be given the choice

As I watch you from a distant place
I look into your eyes
I look into your space

with all of this searching

you see not my face

We sit in silence
You never realize I am here
As I wait for you to see
I wait for you to hear

You and I

Shall be together

you and I

Always

forever

in silence

My dreams

I often speak to you as if you are my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality.

Yet as of late, the nights have turned restless, fever rushes and sweat drowns my peace

As of late, the visions which fall bring not rest

As of late, the nights which gather make my eyes heavy with longing of nights which have passed

As of late, I sit in the corner and wait for dawn. Awake. Alone.


I have spoken to you so often, yet tonight I address you, directly, and ask of you to return to me.

Do not begrudge me my mistakes, for I may have taken for granted, but I have never forsaken my peace.

Please return to me

my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality…

my dreams

I remember nights when I would smile and await the next adventure,

the reality of  life faded and  accompanied the shadows to rest.

The replaced image was one of silence and experience

This new uncertainty became truth… I remember the nights.

I remember the mornings when I would smile and try to capture every detail,

relive the fantasy, find that which I believed in, feel the freedom of all I owned… be that which knows no bounds… almost discovering the reflection in the mirror is all but a mirage… it is the real you

the fragrances of life, the tastes of air, the sights and sounds… all aware… all in there… it is the truth… I remember the mornings when my mind would comfort my soul

one day,

one day

your dreams shall

be real,

for all which is,

is all

In dreams

Invisible

I can not describe in words what I feel, but I will try. It is a sad victory I win. An engrossing battle that wages against sense. A constant struggle that time and time again stares me in the face and weakly smiles in defeat… and in bittersweet triumph.

What is this I feel? I can not explain, yet once again I try reason, I try faith. I try to understand what is happening…

I watch life as it passes. Living behind who I am and who I should be. Living with who I know and who I could be. Waiting and silently forgetting the voice which has spoken beautiful dreams to my soul. Choosing not to listen to the dreams for the fear of losing is far worse than truly accepting what could be, even if only in a dream.

What a beautiful dream.

So for now I can not describe in words what I feel, so I leave it invisible to my eyes, while ringing vibrations to my soul. My soul knows these invisible dreams, thoughts and fears… and although I can not explain, I have no need to explain…

The only need is to say, I am sorry