Category Archives: Thoughts

Existence

Posted by enreal on

Do we exist?
Are we here?
Is life real?
Are you sure?

What do we know?
We are here, but are we?
What do we know of life?

We study, research, look for the truth.
What of evidence?
What if we exist only to make our souls satisfied
Interesting concept

If someone came and spoke to you the truth…
This page you are reading is not here
The surroundings you see are irrelevant
The feelings you experience are a tool for something larger

Would you believe
If someone came and told you to open your mind
Would you?

We need not the body.
We need not the earth.
They are here as a vessel
They are here to help us learn.

On Joy and Sorrow

Posted by enreal on

On Joy and Sorrow
 Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, “Joy is greater thar sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

A note of thanks

Posted by enreal on

It is friday… It was a long week… A week which I battled with my emotions and myself… I challenged my Self into facing new realities… All with the help of Enreal and her visitors…

All those who visit her Journals… I would like to thank. Wether or not you left advice or support… I felt your presence and energy… To all those who spoke… you spoke to my heart and Enreal heard.

I wish you all my love…

Now let us continue the conversation…

When You have time… watch this video… an incredible challenge to reality

Something to think about this weekend…

Conversation with Soul

Posted by enreal on

… I was just thinking… throwing around your ideas… playing with your different emotions, attempting to understand them better…

Understand emotions better? How can that possibly be? Do you not feel them, do you not cry when I cry? Laugh when I laugh? I think we speak in different tongues…

… I would assume the correct term would be alien… I am Soul… I am connected with and without… I am Soul… I feel, yet not in the way you do… I feel in the form of energy, not negative not positive… simply energy… the more powerful an emotion… the more driven I am to feel… emotions are my food… I crave… you could not understand… not now at least…
Is the paradox here language? Do we not mean what we mean… You speak, I understand, yet the context is not there… not in the same sense… I see the sun, yet to you it is a doorway to Life… I see the sky, yet to you it is a painting from God…

… Indeed… you see, you are my instrument… you are my charge… you are the only thing in this reality that makes me connect… you teach me with no lessons… you show me with your eyes… I listen with you and am by your side… ever translating you are no interpreter… I must learn… with each life… I must learn…

You speak of each life… when I die… do we not go together? You Soul… are we not one?

… My Enreal… we are, yet I know not how to show you… simply try to find, that place inside… all is inside…
… All will be revealed… when I learn… it is embedded… we are one… I am your Soul alone… yet I can connect with others…
… You see, ultimately… that is our purpose… learn and share… be at peace… we are all one, yet individual by the same right… we are all connected, yet separated by design…

I understand that I am and I understand that you are… there are no words to describe what we are or how Life truly works… am I correct? Shall I understand that this is beyond me… these words and meanings I am searching for are written in a book I can not read… are spoken with a voice I can not hear… or simply is it time… I have not reached that time yet? It is too soon…

… It is too soon, as I said all will be revealed… I can not find the words… I am waiting for your emotions… one day you will feel and I will speak…

Separate Lives

Posted by enreal on

I have been wrestling with this for sometime… I am feeling disconnected and unsure of my Life today… That is unlike me… I was recently exposed to some really negative energy, I would normally brush it off… but it is a really strange day today…here is my dilema…

I live two lives, many of us do. Different situations, settings make us different people. I live two lives…As a young woman working to support herself and her family. And as Enreal… who I want to be at all times. It is difficult…All my philosophies all my dreams and aspirations… I want to be the embodiment of Her. She is my Soul and I am her instrument… I want to Live it. I love my family more than my Life. I sacrifice my Life for them in more ways than I can describe… all my important Life decisions I have built around them… When my father passed away…I was given new responsibilities… I love them, I love my family…

They are not the primary issue… it is my job, notice I do not say career… It is such a complicated situation… I know that I must do what is right… I am procrastinating… I have been sitting on 3 books… afraid to look for publication… afraid of change… The people in my lives are judging me based on what they see… what I do for a living… what I do for my family… I normally understand judgement… today was too much… I was blatently disrespected… told I have no future… judged by the exterior… Judgement… I have had these feelings before… now I am just sad…

I will probably delete this post… it goes against my philosophies… I do not want this place to be ruined by their energies… Isn’t it amazing how someones harmful energy found its way here…

I feel sad
I know I shouldn’t

I feel insecure
I know I shouldn’t

I have been put down
I should be strong

I lead two lives
One ideal
The other neccessary…

Who brought me down…
to my knees
to the tears which run down to their cupped hands
As they drink
The salt in my tears…
I shall bring forth a new strength
I shall rise up off the ground
Stand tall before them
And give them my hands
Take them and show them
So they do not judge me again

Soon…One day… when I do not feel sad
For I know I shouldn’t…

Energies and your chaos theory

Posted by enreal on

Quite interesting discussion I had, partly with Grace, then on my own rant… individual energies and collective energies. Each ruled over by some force other than our own… I began thinking of purpose and destiny, as I do so often, and dived into my Life, the random acts that followed a flap of a butterflies wings…

Grace:”I have to pose the question to ‘all of us’. And that is this: Isn’t ALL of life a series of energy exchanges?… Each and everyone of our actions is some sort of energy exchange. INTENTION behind the exchange is really at the heart of the matter, isn’t it? Enreal: “…it is all about energy exchanges… not just individual exchanges, but as a collective whole as well… that seems to be where people mostly lose their energies, as if it is too big a challenge… that is where they are wrong, it only takes a butterflies wings to cause a devastating storm…“

How are these two related? Everything is related… an endless cycle… energy behind chaos behind purpose behind life…

What was your catalyst, the energy behind your life, where you are right now… so then is chaos your destiny?

My chaos theory in brief:

Father and Mother meet under difficult circumstances
I was born and 6 months later was hospitalized for 12 months for tuberculosis. I almost died( no enreal ) =( My father always used to say, “there is a reason you lived, there is a purpose, it was a miracle”

4 years later and 2 countries later we immigrated to the US as political refugees from Romania.

Parents divorced and the rest is simply growing up and discovering myself…

Driving one day enreal came to me…

My father passed away and enreal supported me…

My chaos theory and Enreal

the butterfly flapped its wings in the form of a breath a decision a time a place… and that is as far back as I can tell… but I guess it goes back to before all time… the first spark the first light… who can truly ever understand chaos? I just got a bit confused myself… what is your chaos theory? I believe it began at the same moment as mine…