Tell me the world wouldn’t be better with fields of colors.
Moving, radiating with the perfection of the mind.
Exploding int he spectrum of thought.
Elapsing with the fragments of time…
Is it all in my head,
the miseries, insecurities, doubts?
Did they leave me,
or did I close them out?
Should I have fought,
for the other reasons ?
(Should I have heard them out?)
Perhaps it was me,
perhaps I am the one to blame.
Yet though it all,
I would listen just the same.
I begged and pleaded for one to make it clear.
Yet no one would show me
I saw them turn and disappear
(At least that’s how it seems)
Tell me it’s all in my head, please.
Every time I face a fear, I win.
Yet the fears within rage and shall always take my place
On the center of the stage
I wait
alone
with my false stories and reasons that drive me insane
My reasons have a name
It breathes with the same
Purpose
Self Worth
Only through silence I will see
The dawn breaking in front of me
Its colors vivid,
though I remain blind
The light so timid,
in the shadows of my mind
~
Why have I silenced my soul
Heard it shout though always I know
That it was I who broke the dawn
I listened to it sing
its final song
The voice is gone
~
It shall remain undone
Until Silence has won
Be silent and know
that in truth, you beleive it dead
know the truth in its stead
Silence speaks volumes
What say the time… when love becomes divine
When the spirit breaks… leaving behind the wake
The ripples upon water
The shallow darkness falters
`
What say the time… when knowledge leaves the mind
When the body trembles… chasing the passages of death
The passages of birth
The breeze escapes the deepest depth
The echos carried upon the softest of breath
`
What say the time… when the heart slows the spirit
When the soul loosens… the hold is free
It aches in remembering… it beats for life
It awakens… it forgets
`
What say the time… upon the sacred hour
When the mind and body see
When love and knowledge are mirrored
When the Heart and soul are free
The veil is lifted
The mirror reflects
The knowing that has been there
The knowledge held with care
The mind, the heart, the spirit, the soul… all hold pieces… perhaps they shall see
Upon the sacred hour
Forever shall they be free
For now Time is silent
Listen to be heard
“Too much reading has me chasing dreams,” She sighed as she realized this was her story.
This was her truth. She would read and imagine and live and breathe in the words, breathe in the worlds. Since she could remember she believed she was special, different even. She accepted and reveled in her secrets. She would smile when daydreaming, imagining the different fantasies unfolding in her mind. She would envision perfect situations and conversations, so often that on somedays she would blend reality and her mind.
She waited for her dreams, yet years came in their stead. She waited for her dreams to live, for she always believed they were magic, her magic. She waited but as the years came and went they left her the gift of doubt. Doubt to her was not feared, it simply saddened her. And that’s when she found her truth, that’s when she realized as she read the words,
“it’s alright”
~
Inspired by George R.R. Martin “A Dance with Dragons”
p.452
“Do you like to read books …”
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, the man who never reads lives only one”
I have escaped into my words for years. I have lived, loved, laughed, cried, and even died. I have seen so many worlds that if this is all that my life has to give me, it truly would be alright. I am blessed with my dreams, though they haunt me I know that they are my gift. And for now they remain on the pages of books.
If you truly search deep inside you will find what you believe in… and you will understand why.
There is this woman I know, she is not very close to me, yet she is in my life. Sometimes she shows herself as good and other times she shows an ugliness that is not acceptable. I will tell you a short, sad story.
When my father passed away we sat and talked, she wasn’t trying to console me, she was simply thinking out loud. She spoke of her fathers’ passing [25 years prior] and how she feared death. She is religious in a conventional way, yet I came to find out she doesn’t believe in God. The sadness I felt for my situation turned into a sadness for her. I tried to ask her and find a reasoning, yet there was none. She simply didn’t believe. As I went about trying to deliver the beauty I find, even in the darkest of times, in the few minutes of attention I had left with her, she told me not to bother “I simply don’t believe, when we die, that’s all there is”. I have thought back on that conversation many a times. No matter my hardships or my doubts, I am blessed to have what I have…
This was brought on by a dream I had. This woman is older than me by at least 30 years. I dreamt that she was dying, I came to find her and she appeared to be choking. No one would help her, they were letting her die… but there was something there in her fear filled eyes that forced my need to help, and there were signs that gave me clues on how to… really, really bizarre… it was the fear… it was the fear that made me want to give her more time… give her time to find something, anything… if not God, then at least Peace
It is a sad and scary thing when you are alone with no personal truths.
I believe in love. A simple statement. I believe in love because I feel it. I’m not referring to romance or desire, those are your mind. I’m talking about soul bearing love. The type of love you feel deep inside. When you look at your loved ones and truly think about how much you need them. How much you love them.
(There’s a lot of love in that paragraph, sorry)
When you think of the ones you have lost, and your heart is throbbing and it feels as if it will never abate. You miss them and it feels as if your heart is breaking… that is love.
Love comes in many forms, some of which are not happy. It can cause many things, some which can cause pain. I believe in Love, it is probably, in my opinion one of the greatest forces which exist.
We all know love in some form, if we try to understand it… it simply grows.
How could one understand my words? Make sense of the ramblings which flood my head and spill onto these pages in chaos. They are everywhere, connections, fragments, meaningless words which form songs which sing in tunes and harmonies that I choose to ignore. Until the sounds become to loud.
Here they are flowing as a river. Not raging, nor tranquil. They are littered.
Here they sing as a breeze. Not gentle, nor harsh. They simply drift, and still they make no matter, no matter how I choose to ignore, or create, they are and always will be here. A blessing, which I shun, and with that is my punishment.
Worthless
I know.
How can one understand my words? I guess they make sense to me.
Can you hear them?