One day you will see,
and understand
It was always the plan.
Before you saw
Before you heard
Before you even understood
You knew the voice
You knew the burden
You accepted the choice
You expected the voice
Yet you forgot
When you were born.
.
It was always the plan,
you said you world learn
Have you?
One day you will see,
more than understand
You will remember
I
It is coming,
I feel it
Let it come,
I care not
I’ll let it
take me away
I’ll go
I’m ready
II
As I wait
the mysteries contemplate
Light is revealed
With it’s final breath
They must know
That I fought
Everyday
Until today
When I knew
III
I am ready
to go
I am tired
I know
The voices
they will say
I failed
Let them think it
I care not
I’m free
What would say,
if I asked you to stay
And be with me
All of me
.
I Scream
Shout, Cry
I Lie
And one day soon,
I shall Die
.
So will you?
Stay, I mean
Until the time,
when I get tired of you
.
Would you tire of me?
With all the tears,
I can’t tell how many years.
For it could be mere days and weeks
I don’t know
I wish I did,
for then you would be
partially free
.
Please
I’m lost
Would you guide me
through this maze
It is haunting and real
And nothing heals
there is too much to feel
.
I rant
.
I can’t imagine where it began
Perhaps in the infinite end
Were you ever my friend
I can’t begin to descend
Until I know
.
This could be it.
This could be the beginning
Than Answer I chase
I’m on the edge of the world
lights coming and flowing
I know I am alone
Who shall carry this for me
if not by me
I know I am alone
.
Not even I
would stay
There is my answer
Tell me now
where you go
when I ignore you
.
Are you alone
within your home
So I can’t see you
.
And while you’re there
do you swear
that I can’t hear you
.
I promise you
forever true
that I do need you
.
The walls crumble and fade
yet there you remain
ever the same
For no one can break you
.
Not I
For I have tried
all the while I cried
I do feel you
.
As a part thats been broken
that part is still inside
no matter how hard I try
cry
lie
Until I die
I will feel
hear
need
and
love
you
.
Be it ever the same
everyday
In the shadows you will stay
until the day
I can truly free you
.
I’m sorry
I was on a long drive the other day, reflecting on my “life”,
all the tears, struggles, complications…
then I saw them branch out to the people I loved…
I saw how it was their lives and struggles which touched me and weighed on me…
my conscience held my expectations… and I felt too guilty to live my life.
Wether it was my father, my sister, my love…
I never wanted to achieve or be happy…
I simply wanted to be there.
My problems and grievances are all my own,
I see that, I feel that, but I have become accustom to that feeling…
and as terrible as it sounds, I don’t really care, I just want it to make sense.
I wouldn’t want to call it altruism. I’m not a good enough person for that. I just want to want to stop worrying. I want everyone to be alright so I can be at peace. I don’t need anything more than peace. Others judge and see not the truth… perhaps if they saw,
perhaps if they could see,
this judgement weigh on me
perhaps then I would be free
of this worry.
Wondering once more, what it is I am asking for. This question or statement on Judgement. Perhaps what I see is simply what I believe, and none of it is or was ever real.
My father was happy. I just saw him as sad.
My sister is not struggling. I just want her to have it all.
Her boys are alright. They wont for nothing, they are loved.
And me? Empathy?
No
Internal apathy
Yes
But once more my thoughts stray… As it began it shall end.
it was a long drive… I continue to reflect on life…
How can we see
What we are meant to be?
As we drift away
To where subconscious plays
At the end of the day
It is in this way
We do see,
We are more free than can possibly be.
It is in this place
No body
No space
In our minds eye
We are truly divine
It is in this present life
We suffer all strife
We learn the lessons our mind holds
We fear not and shatter the souls mold
Exploring the potential
Attempting the impossible
Attracting the infinite
Decoding the reason
Why then this vision
Why then this way
Why then do we forget
In the beginning of the day?
Why does our mind shadow secrets
When the answers are already at hand
it is in the timeless grains of sand
may we never understand
Whether the beginning ends the day
It is in this way
For our mind must pass the test
Leaving the answers hidden at rest
For when they will arrive
Only time and mind decide
For now they shall be
Eternally
infinitely
Patiently
Remaining in dreams
I’ve arrived upon the moment
Reached the time in a space that doesn’t exist
Surrendered to the keeper of Minutes
Conceded to the counter of Hours
I came to rest before the master of Days
Unable to stop that which began
I wait for the reasoning to descend
Falling as sand does through the eternal hour glass
The infinite grains hold the universes
Every one as Infinite as Mind
When will it end
Perhaps when is begins again
That which becomes meaning
Now bears no name
Simply the possibility that time is as the universe
Boundless as is space
Unlimited as reality and the mind
Still speaking in riddles and confusion
Travel and bring meaning a new name
Define the undefinable
Bring reality a new perception
Light to mind
Awareness to time
Boundaries to space
Try to stop that which has begun
Before the beginning
Perhaps then you shall see the cycle
Name that which remains nameless in the hall before
Minutes
Hours
Days
Pay homage and kneel
Know
That you shall see the way
Reality is Mind
Mind is Time
TIme is Space
Now Go
Leave this place
Journals Of Enreal 