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The sound of light

dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1Awakened to the sound of the light. It rang true through the night. It beckoned for me to follow. It granted me sight. Determined as I was, as always my right. But am I? Is it? What chance have I in this fight?

 

Light is the savior, yet darkness embraced me so long. It sheltered me and comforted me. It gave me its home. In silence and contemplation I felt not alone. In the dark I found my soul. In the dark I found my home. Yet now it’s time for me to go.

 

Why then Do I want to stay, why then does my body and mind turn away. From the light I wish to sway, yet tell me not this day. I am wrong, it is not my home. It is not the way. It is not the chance I yearned for. It is not the only way.

 

It is blinding. It burns. It has a way of taking and making turns. I will wait. Perhaps follow, perhaps stay. I will not go nor decide this very minute, perhaps neither this day nor the next. When it’s time I shall go, for now light, leave me alone.

Loved This!!!!!!!

Samantha Mariah Jane

What if Reality
doesn’t believe
in affirmations
or that Hope can float
safely to shore?

What if Faith
secretly harbors
only dark truths
within her blinding
white, bright, smile?

What if Tomorrow
considers himself free
and has no desire
to form any ties
to past or present?

Then again,

What if  Tomorrow wakes
finding himself
in bed with the present,
intertwined in a dream
that Faith envisioned
long before she smiled
invitingly, and  offered her hand
to the hand of Hope
who stepped carefully
onto dry land once again,
looking Reality square in the eyes
before lifting her gaze to face
a new destiny?

~ smj


Both Sides Now, by Joni Mitchell

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Searching

I am wandering down the halls of my mind… There are doors I keep wanting to open. The ghosts of experiences that are crying for my attention. I recall them, then I slam them shut. I would rather run, than face them, even one. I built the walls, strong. Never once letting them falter, never once letting them down.

 The people.

The places.

The thoughts.

The spaces.

*

They made me… yet I made myself…

They shaped me… yet I overcame myself

Through loss and gain, my thoughts made me sane.

I played the game… and ever did I change.

First and above all Dad.

L and J, was it me or was it them?

The ground where it burned

The home which was always cold.

I didn’t belong.

I still don’t.

Yet now I’m home, and the ghosts are crying for my attention.

*

I listen as I write, waiting for what I am trying to say. Yet the thoughts remain the same.

I know what I overcame, yet that which made me  is slowly driving me insane…

*

I know the answer, yet I don’t want to hear…

It is in there, trying to form itself clear…

Is it me?

Please answer my fears…

it is, but its ok

Boundaries

In the beginning I sink
,

Slow…

yet as fast as sound and the mind.

Deep down into an abyss,

Hidden…

Buried with time.

A feeling…

Thoughts form before my wandering eyes.

Yet they are closed. They know…


Incomplete…

Moments elude …

They grace what knowledge knows.

As if pieces are missing from my soul

Taken…

Hidden…

in plain sight

*

Panicking I feel holes in my heart.

Throbbing and alive.

My soul.

I know.

I must go to fill these holes.

Dull the subtle pain

Yet this moment finds me insane

*

All I ever needed


I misplaced along the way

As I backtrack

I miss the path

Further and further I go


I can not find my heart

I can not find my soul

I scream

My screams are muted

Muted by a place that is beyond sound

Movement in the distance I see


I run

My legs moving as fast as permitted

So fast

In this place there are no rules

I can fly

*

In the distance I see over the hills

Pieces of my soul are there

The holes from my heart

But the darkness produces shadows

I want to see clear figures in the opaque sky

I want to dance with the shadows of the moon

I want to put in words what I see


Simultaneous and Impossible

I need to complete my soul

I need to finish this dream

*

Every moment of this place collapses

My dream retracts

Back and forward

It is understood

somewhere

just not here

In a world where there are no boundaries


In a moment that spans a lifetime


I understand

My dream culminates with a realization

Not taken

Simply Free

In this place with no boundaries

*

Just in time for the journey back to my slumbering body


My soul weary

Yet happy

Solace found for my mind

With my souls completion

My heart and soul alight

With Love

With Knowledge

But was it real?

As I dreamed it?

Or perhaps I was the dream

Of chaos

In this place with no boundaries

it reaches me

*

sometimes I wonder what it is I really am thinking.

sometimes I wonder what it is I really am feeling.

sometimes it just makes no sense. it makes me tired.

~enreal