My dreams

I often speak to you as if you are my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality.

Yet as of late, the nights have turned restless, fever rushes and sweat drowns my peace

As of late, the visions which fall bring not rest

As of late, the nights which gather make my eyes heavy with longing of nights which have passed

As of late, I sit in the corner and wait for dawn. Awake. Alone.


I have spoken to you so often, yet tonight I address you, directly, and ask of you to return to me.

Do not begrudge me my mistakes, for I may have taken for granted, but I have never forsaken my peace.

Please return to me

my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality…

my dreams

I remember nights when I would smile and await the next adventure,

the reality of  life faded and  accompanied the shadows to rest.

The replaced image was one of silence and experience

This new uncertainty became truth… I remember the nights.

I remember the mornings when I would smile and try to capture every detail,

relive the fantasy, find that which I believed in, feel the freedom of all I owned… be that which knows no bounds… almost discovering the reflection in the mirror is all but a mirage… it is the real you

the fragrances of life, the tastes of air, the sights and sounds… all aware… all in there… it is the truth… I remember the mornings when my mind would comfort my soul

one day,

one day

your dreams shall

be real,

for all which is,

is all

In dreams

Empty Destiny

With each day comes forth new possibilities for happiness. We live each day as if life is continuous and we have no say in what happens. This is false. We control our destinies, we choose our lives. Whether to live the same or to make the change… to face a truth or to be afraid… It is a sad and empty destiny, if this is the path we take.

Emptiness is the consumption of will.
It is not the beginning that counts,
It is the return to the present that manifests life

All creativity must have roots.
All expectations must have matter,
All possibilities may become whole. If we choose it so…

My beautiful dream,
Giving way to sadness nevermore.
I’ve been wanting signs.
Waiting in fear.

I can not imagine falling way.
I can not believe in emptiness… even if emptiness believes in me.

Are we Lost?
Everyday.
Can we be Found?
Perhaps.

One day

Destiny allows room for error
All things will be shown at Time’s leisure
For we do not always achieve our destiny,
Others play a hand in fate
And Fate in turn,
Has its own destiny

See Me

The truth is clear

The knowledge is here

Buried within your Soul

Shunned by your Mind

*

Could it be this simple

The answer to it all

Could it be the reason

The meaning of your Fall

*

Where are those wings

The ones which gave you flight

The ones which protected you

The ones which shone so bright

*

Where is the fire

The one which burned so pure

The flames of innocence

The intensity of life

*

I stand before you

You bow before me

I reach for you

You fall at my feet

*

I take your hand

I lift your face

I try to calm you

I try to take your disgrace

*

Your eyes are veiled

As you look within yourself

Your eyes show nothing

Only believing the truth which has failed

*

Do you see  the truth?

The wisdom which is here.

Open your heart and mind

Remove the illusions from which you hide

*

Be it the truth that captures

Be it the lie that sets you free

Be it that I

I am the you

The you that you see

Somewhere

Does it give you hope to know your dreams are real, your hopes alive. Your imagination is actually speaking to you in images that exist slightly beyond your grasp.

Does it make you wish bigger, see clearer? Or does it break your heart to know that somewhere, anywhere other than here… at this exact moment you are happy.

Alive in your dreams, in your hopes… your imagination is reality… somewhere, other than here

Invisible

I can not describe in words what I feel, but I will try. It is a sad victory I win. An engrossing battle that wages against sense. A constant struggle that time and time again stares me in the face and weakly smiles in defeat… and in bittersweet triumph.

What is this I feel? I can not explain, yet once again I try reason, I try faith. I try to understand what is happening…

I watch life as it passes. Living behind who I am and who I should be. Living with who I know and who I could be. Waiting and silently forgetting the voice which has spoken beautiful dreams to my soul. Choosing not to listen to the dreams for the fear of losing is far worse than truly accepting what could be, even if only in a dream.

What a beautiful dream.

So for now I can not describe in words what I feel, so I leave it invisible to my eyes, while ringing vibrations to my soul. My soul knows these invisible dreams, thoughts and fears… and although I can not explain, I have no need to explain…

The only need is to say, I am sorry

To begin with…

Enreal, let me start by asking you a question; (no need to answer if you don’t want to). What made you decide to start your blog?

I will be honest. It was two weeks after my father died. I was lost, confused, bursting with pain and had nowhere to turn. My family looked to me as the rock… it was only a matter of time before I crumbled. I needed an escape. I needed to detach from my life.

This is my beautiful detachment… this is my salvation… this is my escape… this is where I can express my dreams, my desires, my visions… this is my minds home, my hearts retreat, my souls property… this is who I could be without limitations…

If the people I have met along my virtual journey in my journals would see who I was in the real world, they would be surprised. I suppose this is true for most… we share the best of ourselves here, that is why it is such a beautiful instrument… I know I have learned so much from the people I have met here and am blessed they have journeyed along side with me…

AS for the surprise… it is not that I am not a bad person or different from the words I write. I am simply busy.I work too hard and yearn for more… so much more… and I am too afraid to live… I live for my limitations…

So J… this is why I blog, this is why I write here… in some way I gain my freedom through my readers. Thank you all for journeying with me