Category Archives: dreams

free

Posted by enreal on

I

It is coming,

I feel it

Let it come,

I care not

I’ll let it

take me away

I’ll go

I’m ready

II

As I wait

the mysteries contemplate

Light is revealed

With it’s final breath

They must know

That I fought

Everyday

Until today

When I knew

III

I am ready

to go

I am tired

I know

The voices

they will say

I failed

Let them think it

I care not

I’m free

Apart

Posted by enreal on

 

Sometimes when I try to make sense, none can be found. I try to listen to my heart, yet it beats alone. I try to listen to my mind, yet that too is silent when my Soul comes searching. One would think they are connected, yet as of late, they are worlds apart.

.

I look towards an emptiness. Barren. Not cold, not dark, not anything.

What do you hear when there are no sounds?

Breath,

Yes.

What do you feel when you touch the ground?

Reality, or is it simply what you believe you’ve found?

What do your senses say they’ve found?

For now

They simply know not,

Or why.

This is my heart.

.

I look towards Life for answers, there are many. Yet, none seem right.

What is Life? If not Death in waiting.

What is Strife? If not happiness waiting to be found.

What is Sorrow? If not the hollowed ground within your heart able to be filled with Joy.

I do believe this, in truth I know this. Yet to know and believe serves little when one is lost.

This is my mind.

.

.

They pain you, your desires. What do they know, these simple emotions,

Hollowed words and meaningless songs

They betray you, your realities. What do they show, they are simply all you know.

One day all will be one.

This is my soul.

.

Worlds apart, yes. Yet they are the same.

Stay

Posted by enreal on

What would say,

if I asked you to stay

And be with me

All of me

.

I Scream

Shout, Cry

I Lie

And one day soon, 

I shall Die

.

So will you?

Stay, I mean

Until the time,

when I get tired of you

.

Would you tire of me?

With all the tears,

I can’t tell how many years.

For it could be mere days and weeks

I don’t know

I wish I did,

for then you would be

partially free

.

Please

I’m lost

Would you guide me

through this maze

It is haunting and real

And nothing heals

there is too much to feel

. 

I rant

.

I can’t imagine where it began

Perhaps in the infinite end

Were you ever my friend

I can’t begin to descend

Until I know

.

This could be it.

This could be the beginning

Than Answer I chase

I’m on the edge of the world

lights coming and flowing

I know I am alone

Who shall carry this for me

if not by me

I know I am alone

.

Not even I 

would stay

There is my answer

In the shadows

Posted by enreal on

Tell me now

where you go

when I ignore you

. 

Are you alone

within your home

So I can’t see you

. 

And while you’re there

do you swear 

that I can’t hear you

. 

I promise you 

forever true

that I do need you

. 

The walls crumble and fade

yet there you remain

ever the same

For no one can break you

.

Not I 

For I have tried

all the while I cried

I do feel you

.

As a part thats been broken

that part is still inside

no matter how hard I try

cry

lie

Until I die

I will feel

hear

need

and

love

you

.

Be it ever the same

everyday

In the shadows you will stay

until the day

I can truly free you

.

I’m sorry

Internal apathy

Posted by enreal on

I was on a long drive the other day, reflecting on my “life”,

all the tears, struggles, complications…

then I saw them branch out to the people I loved…

I saw how it was their lives and struggles which touched me and weighed on me…

my conscience held my expectations… and I felt too guilty to live my life.

Wether it was my father, my sister, my love…

I never wanted to achieve or be happy…

I simply wanted to be there.

My problems and grievances are all my own,

I see that, I feel that, but I have become accustom to that feeling…

and as terrible as it sounds, I don’t really care, I just want it to make sense.

 

I wouldn’t want to call it altruism. I’m not a good enough person for that. I just want to want to stop worrying. I want everyone to be alright so I can be at peace. I don’t need anything more than peace. Others judge and see not the truth… perhaps if they saw,

perhaps if they could see,

this judgement weigh on me

perhaps then I would be free

of this worry.

Wondering once more, what it is  I am asking for. This question or statement on Judgement. Perhaps what I see is simply what I believe, and none of it is or was ever real.

My father was happy. I just saw him as sad.

My sister is not struggling. I just want her to have it all.

Her boys are alright. They wont for nothing, they are loved.

And me? Empathy?

No

Internal apathy

Yes

But once more my thoughts stray… As it began it shall end.
it was a long drive… I continue to reflect on life…

In Dreams

Posted by enreal on

How can we see
What we are meant to be?

As we drift away
To where subconscious plays

At the end of the day
It is in this way

We do see,
We are more free than can possibly be.

It is in this place
No body
No space

In our minds eye
We are truly divine

It is in this present life
We suffer all strife

We learn the lessons our mind holds
We fear not and shatter the souls mold

Exploring the  potential
Attempting the  impossible
Attracting the infinite
Decoding the reason

Why then this vision
Why then this way
Why then do we forget
In the beginning of the day?

Why does our mind shadow secrets
When the answers are already at hand

it is in the timeless grains of sand

may we never understand

Whether the beginning ends the day

It is in this way

For our mind must pass the test

Leaving the answers hidden at rest

For when they will arrive

Only time and mind decide

For now they shall be

Eternally

infinitely

Patiently

Remaining in dreams