Category Archives: Conversations

I simply don’t know

Posted by enreal on

Am I the person I thought I would be ?
Am I the person I wanted to be?
Do I practice what I preach?
Am I a prisoner to what my mind would have me believe?

When will I change?
When will I grow?

When will I reap,

All which I sow?

I simply don’t know.

 

I sat here thinking about my day. It was an ordinary day. Work. Family. Coworkers. Friends. Avoidance. Musings. Thoughts. Trials. Dreams. Petty petty things… I have changed… not in the way I foresaw. I have become as bitter as the cold which surrounds me… I shall elaborate. But now I simply don’t want to. I grieve for the me I lost, the one who gave up… i simply don’t know where she went… perhaps it was denial… I will find her and ask for her forgiveness… then I shall elaborate. Until then…

 

I simply don’t know

Invisible

Posted by enreal on

Pondering the meaning of simply being

Just breathing

And suddenly believing

In Something

Anything

 

Then a word breaks my silence

 

 

JUST

A word that implies complacency

JUST

A word that begs understanding

JUST

A word that I can say to you in a moment

For a moment

JUST

 

Then a thought intrudes my rant

 

Now you see

What you have made of me

with my words I constantly sew

A picture I so vaguely know

 

ALONE

you know so

in your bones

ALONE

all and one

together

ALONE

and this could be the end

it could be…

 

With my words I see all that I feel

My chest aches

The cavity which bears

all the invisible tears

 

What say you next

whether in words or thought

Bring not emotions

 

For my mind can fail not

What my soul has left to thought

 

 

 

 

I need to write

I need to feel

I need to embrace all which I have shunned

I am sorry

I shall write

The truth within the mirror

Posted by enreal on

I stand before you now…

I am here to greet you…

for as long as this eternity is…

I have failed to meet you

You look old

You seem wise

your gaze is distant

Can you meet my eyes?

We stare at the reflections, blinded by the truth in our eyes… the mirrored walls capture the pairs, the countless futures hidden behind so many eternal tears… Oh mirror, oh mother, oh sister, oh lover… where have you taken my sight, my future, my plight… when will it all seem right?

Where does thy gaze travel?

So far art thou eyes

Where does thy truth wander?

Over countless horizons, over infinite skies…

So I beseech thee to answer… can you meet my eyes… can you look into our future and see where it lies… for this is me as well as thee…  for this sight is mine by any given rite… who are you to hold my life? Who are you, if not me by sight?

.

.

.

.

“I am that I am… I know for what you ask… but do you ponder the meanings of the answers? The burden is mine to bear, so perhaps it is this we share… for you seek not fortune, nor fame… you seek not pleasure, yet perhaps you seek pain… you myself are me through and through… do you think I would keep these things from you? Think before you speak… think before you seek… there is a reason I am old… you may not be willing to carry such a burden when one is given to you… so for now live and learn… for this is your part in me… this is our journey… remember to think before you seek…”

“The older I get, the more questions gather from my minds… “

 

 

She smiles… This is who she is… The reflection smiles back…

 

Remember to remember

Posted by enreal on

When I remember to remember the ache creeps in. So easy is it to push aside dreams and in turn head towards a given reality.

 

When I remember to remember a shadow is thrown. So easy is it to run with the sun and leave behind the darkness in silence.

 

When I remember to remember the silence breaks. So easy is it to listen to breath and the constant rhythm of the heart.

 

It beats

I breathe

I cast shadows

I walk the path blind

 

Yet when I remember to remember

When I choose to not forget. I know.

 

It is not so easy to escape that which comes from within. Blinding yourself. Ignoring the ache. When I remember to remember I feel sad.

 

Perhaps I shall forget this too.

Waiting

Posted by enreal on

It’s disconcerting how separated I have become from the stars. When once I felt them my home, my dreams. Now they shine a hollow yet beautifully radiant reminder of what I have unremembered.

 

What was it again..?

 

My mind can see heaven yet my heart has forgotten to breathe in the light. My soul reached on high… yet is it still my soul?

 

Is it..?

 

Perhaps when the time comes I shall remember. For now it seems I must wait. And yearn. A hollowing reminder. I feel its memory yet decode it I can not.

 

How foolish am I, for I know that waiting is the only thing time does not forgive

Oh time…

Posted by enreal on

you travel so fast, wings beating upon the invisible threads you have woven. as you travel and laugh your song carries on. dancing with the sun.

your thoughts became the embers of fantasy and dreams, your wishes beckoned incredible things. From dust came fire and Moments.

From Ashes came clouds and Years.

shadows became fractured which formed Breaths

sorrows born together with Tears.

and happiness found within the seasons and years.

within your dawn you have created life. together maybe with what has been and forever will be Your Father

Oh time. when will the moment come of our rest. perhaps together, if you’ll have me, we shall accompany each other to a place where we can sit and watch the world. still.

 

 

 

perhaps maybe if time would hear my confusion. taste my thoughts. perhaps I would rest for a bit. ~enreal

Story Teller

Posted by enreal on

The world awaits a new tale… filled with wonderment and life… visions and strife… the world awaits a new hero, a new world, a new time… every second one is born, another one dies.

I sit and read tales told through countless lifetimes. I fly through my mind. As I read the words they lose their shape and become landscapes of thought.
The story teller paints on the canvas of veiled sight. Whispering thoughts and watching them blossom. Watching them flow on the river of words until abstract becomes understood and understanding becomes reason for the listener. They tell yet always see in plain sight.

 

I sit and listen to the voice of the teller. Hearing the words and entering their minds. I fly.

 

Turning I see them. I hear the words they spoke as they wrote and they dreamed.

 

I saw them fly.

Eternal be the words, eternal be the thoughts, they remain for eternity. Infinitely flowing through minds. They live forever as others die.

Words. Thoughts. Voices. Memories. Dreams. Visions. Emotions. Created. Destroyed. Transformed. Interpreted. Saved. Deleted.

The voice of the story teller lives and is spoken through time.

As they whisper you can hear their true voice

As you listen you can see them fly

 

Turn and hear me.

See me. Telling you a tale.

Can you see me fly?