I simply don’t know

Am I the person I thought I would be ?
Am I the person I wanted to be?
Do I practice what I preach?
Am I a prisoner to what my mind would have me believe?

When will I change?
When will I grow?

When will I reap,

All which I sow?

I simply don’t know.

 

I sat here thinking about my day. It was an ordinary day. Work. Family. Coworkers. Friends. Avoidance. Musings. Thoughts. Trials. Dreams. Petty petty things… I have changed… not in the way I foresaw. I have become as bitter as the cold which surrounds me… I shall elaborate. But now I simply don’t want to. I grieve for the me I lost, the one who gave up… i simply don’t know where she went… perhaps it was denial… I will find her and ask for her forgiveness… then I shall elaborate. Until then…

 

I simply don’t know

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13 responses to “I simply don’t know

  1. dear and divine…. natural outside….neutral inside…
    perfection outside… totality inside….. music outside….silence inside….. ordinary outside ….extraordinary inside…. knowledge outside…ignorance inside…
    know now that one do not know…
    love all….

  2. I hope you find her… Actually, I don’t know how you can miss her? I’m pretty sure I see her. She’s beautiful, by the way… and I don’t think she wants your apologies… only just a little of your attention and acceptance… =)

    Still – I know this is easy for me to say… without the details… without being you… and, yet I also feel like I can relate… as usual… I sort of feel like I walk a fine line between who I am, and who I was, and who I’d like to be…
    Continually trying to pull myself together.

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  4. …the process of knowing, it’s what yields the most knowledge anyway. And what that knowledge yields of us…sometimes makes seeking forgiveness necessary. we are both darkness and light, forgiveness is something we must all seek at some point or another.

    Thank you for dropping by earlier. I appreciate that you thought of it. It was nice.

  5. Pingback: Pull Myself Together « Samantha Mariah Jane

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