I simply don’t know

Am I the person I thought I would be ?
Am I the person I wanted to be?
Do I practice what I preach?
Am I a prisoner to what my mind would have me believe?

When will I change?
When will I grow?

When will I reap,

All which I sow?

I simply don’t know.

 

I sat here thinking about my day. It was an ordinary day. Work. Family. Coworkers. Friends. Avoidance. Musings. Thoughts. Trials. Dreams. Petty petty things… I have changed… not in the way I foresaw. I have become as bitter as the cold which surrounds me… I shall elaborate. But now I simply don’t want to. I grieve for the me I lost, the one who gave up… i simply don’t know where she went… perhaps it was denial… I will find her and ask for her forgiveness… then I shall elaborate. Until then…

 

I simply don’t know

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