Has it really been that long?
The days melt into one.
The nights blur and fade into nothing.
I was here,
It felt like yesterday,
yet I know I am wrong.
Has it really been that long?
I am sorry.
A moment
When she is here, it’s beautiful. It’s as if we become one and are free. For that moment when I see her I know. I know and so does she. But what we know doesn’t explain the why.
Why has the world led us to this moment? Am I referring to my moment, your moments, the moments experienced by the world, by life. Or am I simply being mindful of none other than myself? As always.
As always, except for perhaps when we reunite. For years I have been searching and running. From one to the other watching and waiting. Hoping for a hint of that feeling I have when I see her. It is chemical. It is euphoric. And it lasts as long as I see her.
I can see her.
I can feel her,
and I know her, as I’ve known no other.
I wish it could be forever, yet I, I am the one who leaves.
It is my mind which wanders, it is my eye which turns away. It is that moment which lasts but a second that carries infinite circumstance and absence. It is I who leaves…
And with time, comes the moments. Memories are bliss, what we perceive is as real as a shadow.
Who is she?
Loss
I
What would you have me do
Sit here simply and dream of you
While my dreams lay broken on the floor
Never to fly
Never to soar
II
What would you have me do
Get on my knees and beg of you
To unveil your eyes and hear my tears
They are only tears
They fall
III
What would you have me do
As I know I have all of you
Despite my mind
I know my heart
If ever should part
It would be a start to loss
Chaos
“…this world is beyond chaos, nothing makes sense.”
I was having a conversation the other day with someone who was very upset, with reason. This stuck in my mind. Chaos. I have written about her many a time, yet here, in summary was my reply.
“In a world full of life we know chaos exists…
is it the confused unorganized state before the creation of distinct forms…
or is it something more.
Can we describe life as chaos?
Life in itself is more than a word,
a thought or even a reality.
Life like God can not be described at all.
Life is a state higher than human consciousness.
Life is a state of being beyond human comprehension.
Like God, life is a gift.
A gift that is not confused,
but focused.
It is organized and exists beyond us.
Life is beautiful.
Chaos does not apply.”
We like to blame anything or everything. Can we blame the way we feel? Does that make sense? Perhaps it does, yet should we? I don’t think so. We might feel the need to blame, or simply we might need to feel what we feel. Either way this was my conversation, give or take a philosophy or two.
Thanks for reading,
Enreal
Static
We all have voices that need to be heard
We all have feelings
misunderstood
Individual yet as a whole
A din in the wind of the six dimensional soul
Hear them sing as they ring in your ears through the tears
Disguised as fears within the years
The constant
Voices
Of Static
Disenchanted
Perhaps she failed you, perhaps you failed me…
Perhaps I placed all my hopes in the most fragile of jars… watching, waiting as they teetered on the edge of the shelves in my mind
Perhaps I placed all my desires upon the wild flames only to have them cooled by the beautifully soft winds. Lightly and ever so gently she reduced them to embers and ashes which she carried delicately in her invisible arms
Perhaps all my dreams have vanished to another realm, another world, another place where they can dance and laugh and be free… for they do dance, laugh and are free somewhere… I can remember this for a second as my eyes smile to the morning light then slowly give passage to the reality of the day. The seeming finality of what is real… but what happens to that second, that glimpse… why must it be erased so quickly… when all I want to do is be there… why must it pass?
Why must she take them to her hidden reality.
She made you be present, disenchanted, aware.
If indeed you are, then I have failed too. For to break such hopes, to extinguish such desires, to forget such dreams… is sad.
To do these things is sad. It weighs heavy on my heart. I pray you understand.
She failed me too.
Yet I know not if you understand. To hear of your disappointment brings the fire to my heart… it is one of shame and disillusion. I dreamed you always by my side, guiding me, and now I want to hide as a child who is afraid of her shadow.
Why now? Why must I see this failure now? It is a failure to see reality and turn away, so for now I shall wait with my shadows and ask of you, my victor… is it too late?
Why must I save you from her, if she is me and I am you?
Dreams of Love
Dream/ 1: a series of thoughts, images or emotions occurring during sleep 2: a dreamlike vision 3: something noted for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality 4: ideal
Dream/ 1: to have a dream of 2: to indulge in daydreams or fantasies 3: imagine
During night or day, during sleep or relaxation, we drift… sometimes we see another world where our lives are different…sometimes we see our lives perfect…or simply we dream. We dream of ideal circumstances… believing in all, and all believing in us as if everything we believe doesn’t exist at all.
They say we need our dreams, that short time when we slip into unconsciousness, we need that time to take hold of our emotions and funnel them into the belief that there is something else that exists.
The truth of the matter is we dream, we visualize and conceptualize life, circumstances upon circumstances which in most cases makes little to no sense at all. Yet, we are told to, “read into our dreams”, “interpret and analyze” the hell out of them, until we see an elephant as an admission of guilt for hating our mothers, or something as ridiculous as that. Dreams are an escape, or a gateway to that life which we seek. Dreams enable us to be that hero we naturally are not, to fly which naturally we can not do, or to be as we would never be. I live for my dreams; they are my gateway to heaven.
I dreamed a dream so full of passion…unconventional passion for life, and love… it made me want to die for I fear shall never feel that ever again… or worse, forget the reality of it…
Passion/ 2: strong feeling; also Pl: the emotions are distinguished from reason 3: RAGE, ANGER 4: LOVE; also; an object of affection or enthusiasm 5: sexual desire- passionate.
What other word could hold such a large variety of meaning? One definition would capture the huge scope of human plight and want all at once. Passion is what we seek for fulfillment in life, whether it is passion for what we do and create or passion for what we are and who we love.
This dream is simple, to feel passion for love, passion for life. To want to know of love as in the stories. To want to be the damsel in distress saved by some prince charming, simply because we all need love. We all need to feel. We are given such a short time, before the sun sets on our horizon we need to reach for more, forget about loss and capture what there is to gain. There is always love. To believe in love…
Love
Love 1: strong affection 2: warm attachment 3: an attraction based on sexual desire 4: a beloved person
Love 1: CHERISH 2: to feel passion, devotion, or tenderness for 3: CARESS 4: to take pleasure in
The types of love we seek daily, love from…parents, spouses, lovers, colleagues, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.
We seek love everyday, we need to be felt for the way we feel for others. Even the most cold hearted will feel love for something, crudely put, an example being money if nothing else.
Sometimes you need to see the truth in order to move forward. This is simple. I believed that there was no love out there, only what you read about or saw in the movies. In the past it seemed that there was a possibility for love, chivalry and romance. In today’s society there is only desire for sex and emptiness in romance. If love songs and movies are for the dreamers and do not exist out of the scope of these fictional things, then answer why we listen, or why we watch, or why everyday we hope?
This arose from a dream… A dream of love lost… a dream of love found… a dream of no love at all… but alas it was just a dream… and like all dreams, you eventually wake…
Let us venture into dreams once again… it is safe… if only for another infinite journey through love lost
Journals Of Enreal 