Category Archives: Question Life

Horizons

Posted by enreal on

Watching

Waiting

Gazing silently at the horizon… listening to my heart

All my thoughts escaped

At peace

All my thoughts escaped

But only for a moment

For they shall return

They shall come flooding into my mind

Harkening to my soul

Bombarding me with feelings

Regret, longing, memories, failures… want

I see it

Where I envision myself

I feel it

My Soul waits in confusion

Two lives

Two desires

One pure

One tainted

My soul waits in contemplation

It doesn’t know what to feel

So much has simply passed

time

dreams

thoughts

knowledge simply slipping though the mind

landing on the wings of an angel

My Angel

she waits

arms reaching to entrust the moments lost

“your answers”

she waits

I get tired of looking

The horizon so far away

Of all my wants

Of all my searching

I want to be complete

I want to be one

Mind and Soul

Letting the ego go

Yet it is so far

One must travel the endless journey

To meet the horizon

This journey

Is life

And life

As the horizon

is infinite

Let us live

Journey to the end of the world

It may be far

So far

It may be

Let it be

Something

Posted by enreal on

Another day at work. Another day at Life. Another day that passed with little to no difference from the days which existed before… or was there something?

Was there a moment which existed, which exists now as I am writing these words? Was there a moment of reflection, of questioning, of reason which stands foremost in my mind? Is there something new?

Is it perhaps this thought which reached my mind, spoken from my soul? is it perhaps the feeling of being present. For that is how I felt as I faced my reflection in passing. As I stopped, stared and smiled. First I thought myself tired, but then I saw something. Something which spoke to my heart, from my mind. Placing reason within understanding. Something which I can not properly define… but I know. I know I am not tired anymore… I know that I am actually alright… I wanted to write “for the time being” twice… yet I did not…

I feel the smile once more… I guess it wasn’t the lighting.

I wonder why

Posted by enreal on

I wonder why when we dream, life seems so irrelevant? Why the hours of sleep feel so short… as if time matters little to the worlds we travel in the night.

I wonder why when we breathe, the air flows through our bodies as if there is no reason… simply will… as if the body is animated by its own design.

I wonder why when we feel, I mean deeply connect to raw emotions, there is that physical reality to the minds power…

the breaking of the heart from sorrow and loss

the butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous, or in love

the laughter which flows so heavily when you are happy

the tear which release when the mind knows not what to do with the flows of emotion, be it happiness or sadness…

I wonder why when we think… delve deep into the abyss we call Mind… do these things make sense. The answers and reasons we resolve delicately explain that which is unexplainable to each individual reality…

we think there for we are

All alone, yet connected by the similarities of Life… semblance to Mind… oneness to Soul…

I wonder why I wonder. Yet I am happy that I do… for so many take not the time to care, learn, think… perhaps it is the wondering we find the wonder

perhaps

Posted by enreal on

I remember a conversation I had a little while ago. One of those semi-philosophical conversations… where you stumble upon a golden nugget… a morsel of perfection… clarity even… yet as I try to recall it all, I have a hard time remembering the “aha” moment…

Lessons.

Meanings.

Truth.

Knowledge.

The meaning of it all, you understand the feelings evoked when you have a realization… and having that feeling amplified by the connection with another mind… knowing you are not alone in your mind…

What were we taught?

Think about what we know.
It was all created by us,
Language and society.
All of it is conceptualized by us.

A table is a table. The sky is the sky. The earth is earth… or is it known as something else. they are what we claim them to be… life is what we claim it to be. Perhaps the reason is because we are isolated, perhaps it is because we are alone. The closest connection we have to the universe is God… and even He is abstract…

Perhaps there is no reason other than that which we create.

A baby is born into the world
We nourish, teach and love
We raise it, as we were raised
Sometimes differently,
But most with good intentions

Sometimes along the way
A path is crossed
A child ventures the wrong direction,
That child in the future misguided,
Misguides another
This cycle, as it always is
Is Life

There is another perspective. One which involves fate… destiny… God even. The reason,

if it applies,

is none other than experience,

life,

learning,

being…

what if there is no wrong?

what if there is no right?

what if life, the series of events which have passed for thousands of years all reach this screen. generations and countless generations of blood being passed on and on… to guide you to this realization… the countless choices, mistakes, tears, years… the road which lead you here was paved with good intentions along the way… so perhaps that is life… or a infinitesimal part of it

perhaps

always perhaps

or what I claim perhaps to be

My words

Posted by enreal on

Why must these words continue to come? I read them, write them, feel them… yet I am far from them.

Why must then they torment me? For so long they gave me shelter, for so long they gave me light. Why then do I forsake them as my plight?

I feel them shudder as they course through my veins, pulsing with the crimson tides that remain blue beneath the surface.

I taste them as they form on my tongue. some bitter, some sweet, some salty with the tears I can not shed, for they too have forsaken me.

I hear them crying from within, laughing from the heavens, whispering from the winds…

I see them as they merge with images, form as a painting of colors only to be melted away from the ridicule I cast myself…

I know them as I know myself… more so… I know them for their truths and they show me mine… I can not deny my words, yet they deny me… why must then do they continue to come?

I know. I am a failure to my dreams.

I know. I am a failure to my visions, to my words.

I know.  I am a failure to myself

My words, they hold so many dreams, so many wishes, so many lives, why then can they not hold mine. It pains me to leave them. I know I can not. I only wish them hear me, once.

Understand me, as I understand you. Make light your dreams, your visions, your way. Help me form my way, as I form yours.

Breath

Posted by enreal on

There are days when I feel feelings I can not understand, or simply choose not to… things I feel and think which cause me to doubt and hide within the words I create… there are times when I am so tired I wish the world would slow so I could catch up… there are moments in which I feel the weight and fall to my knees…

I write these words with no purpose…

I look not for reason, for reason has led me to hide within these words, hide within my mind…

I look not for company, for all have forgotten to ask or notice… as have I…

I look not for shelter, shelter from the glares and ridicule as they come from the shadows of my expectations…

I look not for sympathy, for who can sympathize for one when there is no reason…

Tears can not flow tonight… the well is empty, yet shallow enough to be full

Thoughts lay silent, yet flow to my heart as I read these words aloud…

These words can hurt, yet they can heal

I sit now and wait… for the words I create to bring a filling breath to my lungs…

the breath I long for. the breath I need