Category Archives: Journeys

Still there

Posted by enreal on

I

There are some words that need to be spoken

there are those that should be burned

Torn into a million letters

Broken so as they may never break another

II

There are some moments that would forever be remembered

there are those that should be punished

forced to be internally repeated for the torment and pleasure of its name

Envisioned over and over never forgetting the pain

III

You would never want me to hurt, why then do I ask myself of the letter I wrote. A false altruism meant to open your eyes, blurred them instead with tears as mine are blurred now.

There was a discussion, but how I felt the pain behind the knowledge. I burned it the letter. yet I still remember. I’m sorry for what I wrote, I know how my voice sounded in your head. I will never forgive myself as that is the last thing you read from me.

IV

You would never want me to cry, I know it would grieve you so. Yet I know I should have come in to say hello. That night so long ago. I simply drove away. I knew where you would be, I just figured you would be there at least one more day.

Instead I said hello my own way.

With a gut wrenching scream

at 4 am

after I hung up the phone

In Dreams

Posted by enreal on

How can we see
What we are meant to be?

As we drift away
To where subconscious plays

At the end of the day
It is in this way

We do see,
We are more free than can possibly be.

It is in this place
No body
No space

In our minds eye
We are truly divine

It is in this present life
We suffer all strife

We learn the lessons our mind holds
We fear not and shatter the souls mold

Exploring the  potential
Attempting the  impossible
Attracting the infinite
Decoding the reason

Why then this vision
Why then this way
Why then do we forget
In the beginning of the day?

Why does our mind shadow secrets
When the answers are already at hand

it is in the timeless grains of sand

may we never understand

Whether the beginning ends the day

It is in this way

For our mind must pass the test

Leaving the answers hidden at rest

For when they will arrive

Only time and mind decide

For now they shall be

Eternally

infinitely

Patiently

Remaining in dreams

Reality is mind is time is space

Posted by enreal on

I’ve arrived upon the moment

Reached the time in a space that doesn’t exist

Surrendered to the keeper of Minutes

Conceded to the counter of Hours

I came to rest before the master of Days

Unable to stop that which began

I wait for the reasoning to descend

Falling as sand does through the eternal hour glass

The infinite grains hold the universes

Every one as Infinite as Mind

When will it end

Perhaps when is begins again

That which becomes meaning

Now bears no name

Simply the possibility that time is as the universe

Boundless as is space

Unlimited as reality and the mind

Still speaking in riddles and confusion

Travel and bring meaning a new name

Define the undefinable

Bring reality a new perception

Light to mind

Awareness to time

Boundaries to space

Try to stop that which has begun

Before the beginning

Perhaps then you shall see the cycle

Name that which remains nameless in the hall before

Minutes

Hours

Days

Pay homage and kneel

Know

That you shall see the way

Reality is Mind

Mind is Time

TIme is Space

Now Go

Leave this place

A reason

Posted by enreal on

Fear not the night, nor the darkness which heralds false unease. The prospect of our senses blinded by the lack of light… the lack of sun… the lack of awareness as to what we shall become. Freedom awakens to the heavens as we drift to where our souls meet… ready for the mind to release and the soul to take flight… the wind remains calm, for the rays dance in ethereal light…

On the wings of my soul

In the shadows of my plight
On the borders of my mind
As my spirit brings forth sight

As vivid as our dreams
As immortal as our souls
As our endless years unfold
The truth we always hold

On the cusp of a dawn
Our sorrows were reborn
Shadows of the eclipsed sun
Casting hope

Though they sought none

Now the shadow’s seeking night

Night as darkness

Dawn as sorrow

Be it as a light in the morrow

Be it happiness in the perceived abyss

Be it simply

Life is not always as it is

So I say, once more… fear not that which can be misunderstood. Fear not darkness simply because it is dark. Dismiss not pain simply because it hurts. Deny not sorrow for the well may once be full… there is always season… there is always a reason

And reason is as Life

A Sense of Belonging

Posted by enreal on

I do not belong here
Among the low of spirits and the weak of hearts
Of those whose tongues be shamed
Though I must speak of it the same

.

I do not belong here
Among the empty dreams and failed attempts
For I dream of Life and Love
A vision of peace and wonder sent from above

.

I do not belong here

though only now I realize I know

I have never felt the way my mind accepted

My heart always knew it couldn’t know

.

Though I sense so much more of where I belong

I know I have been wrong

My voice carries on meanings which have slipped passed my judgement

My mind carries on memories of the feelings

memories of the words

memories of the tears

.

I seem to have forgotten these times, though I search for meaning
I will never forget the feeling
It is of a time and setting misplaced

.

I know I do not belong here, yet I can not envision any other place

I can only sense I know another face

I belong among valor and love
I belong among the proud and virtuous

.

Let my mind speak to me and remind me why I am here
I have forgotten the purpose
And my soul waits

Let my heart speak to me and show me the reason
I feel imprisoned to a time, though not the hour which I seek

Let my soul and I complete

Be in quest of this place

the one and only of our dreams

the one of which we belong

 

 

It is interesting how we look for meaning and answers….

“why is this my life?”, “why am I the way that I am?”, “when will these thoughts and feelings make sense?”.

It is interesting how we forget the lessons we have learned along the way, as if searching for one answer is not enough, we seem to overlook it in our failed attempt to see the “big picture”. I am tired of being so selfish… I stopped writing the poem below because I can not justify my visions… whose to say where I belong? I realize that it should definitely not be me. I am persuaded by my desires. I dance with my ego and have become partner when once I was lead… A sense of belonging, perhaps one which was never meant to be…