A picture

It is amazing what a picture can hold.

It has been 7 months and 13 days since I lost my father. It feels like yesterday. I think about him everyday and I pray to God for a sign from him…In the mean while I have my memories and a few photographs.

There is this one picture that I see everyday.

It hangs in my “inspiration room”, a place I decorated with beautiful books, pictures, cards with special sayings and anything that I treasure. This picture, it was taken about three years ago. He is sitting in the passenger seat of my car, he looks content. He is gazing towards me but the camera catches his gaze to the left.

This picture is a mystery, every time I look at it I catch a different expression. Sometimes there is so much happiness behind those eyes, sometimes sadness, sometimes joy and sometimes pain. I ask to myself why couldn’t I have just caught him looking at me? Looking into the camera, so as I to see him looking into my eyes. Just one more look into his.

You stare at something for so long, each time seeing something new. A picture can hold a thousand words, but it holds a thousand expressions as well. I wonder if I reflect myself into the picture or maybe it is the magnitude of a persons reflection. Either way it is still just a picture and I am still waiting for my sign.

Is there balance?

What is love without hate?

Good without evil?

What is life without death?

Heaven without hell?

What is light without darkness?

Happiness without sadness?

What is innocence without lust?

Pride without shame?

What is this life we live? Sometimes it seems surreal.
I think about these things and how perfectly balanced they seem.
Which side is stronger? For all the good there is in the world from emotions to intentions, is it truly balanced? Does one side of the argument take precedent, does one favor over another? Who is the judge?

Love letter from a dreamer

We live day to day in a mirage. I feel compelled to write. I do not even know you. Maybe from a glance passing you once, or even from my dreams I felt as if a connection was made. I need to close this door in my life. I need to be free from something that never was. Once there was someone who believed in fate… that we somehow can connect without words and without reason, and just be. This sounds so strange, and even to make myself happy, I am writing this to you, a complete stranger. I write this letter if only to let something go and capture some sort of freedom.

Seems like yesterday I heard you in the wind.
Seems like today the wind answered my prayers.

Let it pass.

I am in love with the thought of love.
The concept that there is a power stronger than individuality, but can not contain the truth.

Love songs, letters, movies…imagining a life with love. Soul mates, conceptual happiness.
I am in love with the thought of love.

Be still Be free

When your voice is silenced
Your light extinguished
When you are still
When you are still

Be not scared
Do not cry
In the end
We all die

But die is wrong
Nothing ends
Nothing dies
Perceptions fails
Perceptions lies

But when your voice is silenced
A new light is lit
A new flame
A new name

Awakened is your soul
Alive is your spirit
The circle is complete
The circle will repeat

This is love

You know what is real
You know how to feel
You know of love
You know of desire

Do you hear me speak
Along the way I weep
Do you see me breathe
Along the way I grieve

You leave behind this place
You leave to me disgrace
Empty and in shame
Counting days in vain

Love for where you go
Alone I do not know
Existed ever for
With me never sure
This is love
Never more

Tag you’re it…

I normally do not write about myself, but Bill tagged me. These are random thoughts and facts about me.

* We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

* Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I was born in Romania during communist times, when I was 6 months old I got tuberculosis from my grandfather along with my sister and mother. I was hospitalized and treated for TB and Meningitis for 18 months. I did not walk or speak until I was 2 years old. My father took me to many doctors in my village before he decided to “borrow” his friends car and rush me to the nearest city. Doctors said it is a miracle I was alive, 2 hours more and…well there would be no “Enreal”. My father used to say there is a reason I am here, we shall see.

2. I truly believe there is more to “Life”. Somewhere deep in my Soul I KNOW. This is what keeps me going. When I look at the sun, when I see the stars and moon at night, I am in amazement. I see the perfection and design in Life, I believe in our individual purpose. I believe in God. I believe in the greatness and wonderment of LIFE.

3. I am young, but feel very old.

4. I recently lost my father and think about him everyday. He was an intelligent man, the kindest man I have ever known. His passion for life and education, music and literature, everything under the sun. He is with God, going to all the garage sales in heaven.

5. I love having philosophical conversations (“perfect conversations” as I call them). Life, Religion, God, Death, Dreams. I feel it almost impossible to find people to communicate with. I feel like people don’t enjoy speaking of the unknown. They are scared to explore and try to figure the metaphysical. I suppose that is why I write about certain topics. I enjoy the stimulation when someone responds.

6. I take on the role of too many people in my family, my friends and my job. I don’t need to elaborate, but I do not take on the role of myself quite enough. I do when I am here.

7. I love nature. My ideal day would to be walking in the woods somewhere, feeling the breeze, smelling the air, having my feel on the ground and my head in the clouds.

8. I have always wanted to ask people about their lives. Random people that cross my path, a stranger who happen to be near at the time of my wondering. Everyone has stories about their lives, families, homes, loved ones. The fact that people are too busy to take notice is no reason the stories should be silenced. One day I will, I will randomly pick people and document their lives, learn the lessons they learned. I feel we need to take peoples lessons and share, we need to make people feel important. We are all important and we are all connected. There is a reason for everything and everyone!

Now for my curiosity. Here are the people I tag.
Cannablog, JCortes, ToBeMe, The Crows Dream, The13 Graces, Spasmically Perfect, Next Great Writer, Golden Feri