Such passion
Your eyes held true
Such fire
Your words revealed you
Such feeling
Your voice trembled
Such love
My heart was humbled
With such desire you waited
With such wonder I related
I wanted to believe
I wanted to see
Tragedy called
Love failed
Words tore
Hope paled
You
Who asked of me
You
Who spoke of me
You
Who left me
You
Who broke me
You
Who forsook me
Why You?
Heavy with sighs
Sad in the eyes
Tired with pain
Alone and ashamed
The mind throbs in thought
The soul aches distraught
Too empty to feel
As if life were unreal
As emotion fills
Shadows grow still
As sadness shakes
Dejection aches
This soon shall pass
As time in glass
How sadness can feel
As if never to heal
It is amazing what a picture can hold.
It has been 7 months and 13 days since I lost my father. It feels like yesterday. I think about him everyday and I pray to God for a sign from him…In the mean while I have my memories and a few photographs.
There is this one picture that I see everyday.
It hangs in my “inspiration room”, a place I decorated with beautiful books, pictures, cards with special sayings and anything that I treasure. This picture, it was taken about three years ago. He is sitting in the passenger seat of my car, he looks content. He is gazing towards me but the camera catches his gaze to the left.
This picture is a mystery, every time I look at it I catch a different expression. Sometimes there is so much happiness behind those eyes, sometimes sadness, sometimes joy and sometimes pain. I ask to myself why couldn’t I have just caught him looking at me? Looking into the camera, so as I to see him looking into my eyes. Just one more look into his.
You stare at something for so long, each time seeing something new. A picture can hold a thousand words, but it holds a thousand expressions as well. I wonder if I reflect myself into the picture or maybe it is the magnitude of a persons reflection. Either way it is still just a picture and I am still waiting for my sign.
What is love without hate?
Good without evil?
What is life without death?
Heaven without hell?
What is light without darkness?
Happiness without sadness?
What is innocence without lust?
Pride without shame?
What is this life we live? Sometimes it seems surreal.
I think about these things and how perfectly balanced they seem.
Which side is stronger? For all the good there is in the world from emotions to intentions, is it truly balanced? Does one side of the argument take precedent, does one favor over another? Who is the judge?
We live day to day in a mirage. I feel compelled to write. I do not even know you. Maybe from a glance passing you once, or even from my dreams I felt as if a connection was made. I need to close this door in my life. I need to be free from something that never was. Once there was someone who believed in fate… that we somehow can connect without words and without reason, and just be. This sounds so strange, and even to make myself happy, I am writing this to you, a complete stranger. I write this letter if only to let something go and capture some sort of freedom.
Seems like yesterday I heard you in the wind.
Seems like today the wind answered my prayers.
Let it pass.
I am in love with the thought of love.
The concept that there is a power stronger than individuality, but can not contain the truth.
Love songs, letters, movies…imagining a life with love. Soul mates, conceptual happiness.
I am in love with the thought of love.
As we live
As we grow
As we learn
As we breathe
As we bleed
As we go we get closer
Closer to the end
We know not the journeys end
It is a secret
We get closer
We see the pieces
Pieces to our game
The game of life
Life is our puzzle
We have eternity to solve
When your voice is silenced
Your light extinguished
When you are still
When you are still
Be not scared
Do not cry
In the end
We all die
But die is wrong
Nothing ends
Nothing dies
Perceptions fails
Perceptions lies
But when your voice is silenced
A new light is lit
A new flame
A new name
Awakened is your soul
Alive is your spirit
The circle is complete
The circle will repeat
Journals Of Enreal 