I move through the fog
Listening through the heavy mist
Blinded by my sight
Struck by my heart
The trees are bare
They hold the air
Accepting the melancholy
Anticipating the release
The fog is quiet
When the mind is not
Embrace
It is time
For My Father
I sit here and wait… wait for the day. Thursday December 18th will be two years… Two years my since my father passed on… went home. The first year was the hardest I find… as time passed I learned to look at life and death differently. My views have changed, in part of his death and in part of what I see after his passing…
On Sunday I went to the cemetery… our family gathered for a memorial. During this time there was a prayer said… as I looked around all heads were bowed… jackets pulled tight, guarding … protecting from the cold… gazes sorrowful, melancholy heavy in the air… the air carried bitter cold and sadness… and then, then it happened… what I have been praying for… my sign… and I do believe it was… I felt warmth and my thoughts turned to him… for a moment the seemingly overcast winter sky opened up… the sun shone brightly… I felt warm… I felt light… I looked around to see if anyone else felt the same… but alas… they missed my joy… one day they shall know what I know… believe what I believe… one day…
So today I say live and be thankful… live in the memories of those who passed… live with the knowledge of the memories we form today, with our loved ones… live with them and take thanks and know you are blessed with each and every moment… live with the feelings of wonder and uncertainty… for the uncertainty is life… so live with life…
I shall always miss my father… I shall shed many more tears when milestones arrive, when I need his guidance… when I miss his presence… I shall weep for his passing, yet from now on they are my selfish tears… for I know now that he is here and he is always watching… I feel his love in me… the same love he shared with us… I shall share…
My father loved me and my sisters… my nephew… and he would have loved my newest nephew… And we loved him. Life was hard for him and through it all he had always the greatest appreciation for it. I wish I had half the strength to live as he did, I wish I had half of the passion he had, I wish I had more time…
Dedication to my father
I know life had been hard on you
If I could have had just one wish
I would have carried your burden
Now I could only wish…
I could see your face again
Look upon your sad eyes
See your empty gaze
Hold your cold hands
Things haven’t been the same
When you left, you took the part of my soul that belonged to you
It took too long for me to understand
What we all belong to is something else
We belong to Life
Not the other way around.
Until we meet again…I love you daddy
These I wrote in dedication to my father
With you
My dearest, why are you sad?
Why do you weep?
What brings forth the pure water from the center of your being?
What brings down the saline of your Soul
Speak to me
Truthfully
For I know your heart
I know your mind
Yet I know not the Soul
In which you hide
I can here all which is spoken
In the mind, in the heart
I know all which is intended
I feel all which is felt
Yet I know not of matters of the Soul
Your Soul belongs to You
For you see as I see
I feel as you feel
I am with you
I can guide you
We can plant the seeds of your heart
Use your tears to grow
With your wisdom we sow
A garden for both to know
So once again tell me my dearest, why are you sad?
Why do you weep?
You know I am here
Yet you run
You needn’t run
Fall to your knees
Kneel before your life
Let me be
With you
At peace
Don’t be sad
End of the trail
The final steps taken
Shadows fall in line
The Pain
The shame
The Curse
The Blame
The end is near
We slow
We fear
Our head hung in vision
A knowing
The decision
Life
Death
The end of the trail…
Peace
The end of the trail is a sculpture by James Earle Fraser. I recently became haunted by this image… Holding so much pain and rapture in a sculpture… yet there is hope and reason for it… A beautiful piece.
Snow
As I watch the snow fall… I feel lighter… I feel brighter… Tis a new season… be it colder… it is a time to hibernate… renew emotions and ponder feelings…
As I watch the snow fall… I feel like a child…Trying to catch a flake, how wonderful it tastes…
As I watch the snow fall… I know… everything will be fine… For snow is like pain, it can amount to so much so quickly, yet with time and warmth it dissolves and turns to the purest form of life…
It really is snowing outside!!! 🙂 I feel better… thank you for all your love and light… I am truly blessed to know such amazing people!
Thought of the moment
I know what it means to be loved. I know not how it feels…
A light in a dark place
As of late I have been in a dark place. I find my mind and soul are fighting… the ego is putting me in this game once more… It is taking its toll… I am tired. I know some have voiced there concerns… I am sorry. It has crept into my writing. It has seeped into my work.
I always try to write about emotions and pain… with a hope and dream involved… the light in a dark place… I try to give hope because somewhere inside I have hope. Yet my hope is tired and needs a rest… its burdens have taken a toll… so here I am in a dark place waiting for my light. And it shall come… I think I see a faint glow… so for those on their journey. I am on mine…I must wait and see what evolves… I shall see the light. I shall be lighter. For now… I apologize for my work…
It is my journey
Sincerely yours,
Enreal
Journals Of Enreal 