Was it something I did, perhaps an energy I omit-ed
Was it in the way I wrote, or in the words mis-spoke-n
Tell me
Because I am curious,
Why you left-me
Category Archives: Thought of the moment
Just Once
Just once
Can you be there?
Just once
Can you see me?
Please
For me?
Just once
Can you listen
And do
For all the years
Tears
It’s been me and you
Just once
Please
For me?
Just once
So I Know
I simply don’t know
Am I the person I thought I would be ?
Am I the person I wanted to be?
Do I practice what I preach?
Am I a prisoner to what my mind would have me believe?
When will I change?
When will I grow?
When will I reap,
All which I sow?
I simply don’t know.
I sat here thinking about my day. It was an ordinary day. Work. Family. Coworkers. Friends. Avoidance. Musings. Thoughts. Trials. Dreams. Petty petty things… I have changed… not in the way I foresaw. I have become as bitter as the cold which surrounds me… I shall elaborate. But now I simply don’t want to. I grieve for the me I lost, the one who gave up… i simply don’t know where she went… perhaps it was denial… I will find her and ask for her forgiveness… then I shall elaborate. Until then…
I simply don’t know
Hope and Destiny
Dear Hope and Destiny,
Waiting, as I have been. Watching, as I have been also… I sit and ponder you tonight, as I have many times over the years… it seems as if you are simply hidden from me. Is it my lot to live the same days over and over? Feel the same emotions. Envision the same dream year after year… it seems it may be that my destiny may simply be to live… and by live I mean exist. It would also seem negative or narrow… but it is my truth.
I remember when I was younger… I had hope… hope and destiny… a dream that there was something great on the horizon… one of my dreams… I remember when I was younger, do you? Perhaps one day you will…
Lately my nights have been dreamless as have been my days. I can’t write. I haven’t had the nightly inspirations which engulf me in my sleep, for sleep too has eluded me. Uninspired… I suppose.
Anyway, I stray…
It would seem my destiny and hope are on holiday… I wish you well.
Writing from where I am alive,
Enreal
Four
Four
is the number of days until the anniversary
Four
is the number of breaths I have taken through the year since
One. the day you shined down on me from above… that cold day… I know you remember
Two. the day you woke me from deep within my dreams… I had forgotten your voice
Three. the day a new life came into this world… a beautiful soul with our eyes
Four. the same day I knew you would not see new life come from me…
Four
is the number of years you will be gone in four days. I will sit and ponder five and six and seven and I know there will be more breaths. For now they are still labored.
Silviu George Klein
June 14, 1948 – December 18, 2006
Illusion
As I walk in the cold night the snow gently passes my sight. It falls. I breathe in. Exhale out. The visibility of my air carries my gaze just past the darkness. I watch it disappear with all illusion.
“hush”
I follow my step easily. I catch my thoughts dancing. There. A hint of magic. The stars visible as the snow. Dark and moonless is the night. There a hint of remembrance.
“shhh”
The wind whispers its cold voice. Cold and ignored. Ignored and misunderstood.
“Listen”
It whispers…
“See”
It calls…
Here is the magic I yearn for. yet palpable it is not. I wish to hold it in my hand. I wish to smell its sweet reality. Taste its magnificence. This is not it.
Oh but it is… you can not hold it… you can not smell nor taste it… but you can feel it
With that it ended. Within that moment of awareness. The moment the vapor mingled with the darkness of the night. That… and the blink of an eye. Reality changes into illusion once again.
Sweet darkness hold your magic close. For I shall return for it on another glimpse. I can feel it. ~enreal
Remember to remember
When I remember to remember the ache creeps in. So easy is it to push aside dreams and in turn head towards a given reality.
When I remember to remember a shadow is thrown. So easy is it to run with the sun and leave behind the darkness in silence.
When I remember to remember the silence breaks. So easy is it to listen to breath and the constant rhythm of the heart.
It beats
I breathe
I cast shadows
I walk the path blind
Yet when I remember to remember
When I choose to not forget. I know.
It is not so easy to escape that which comes from within. Blinding yourself. Ignoring the ache. When I remember to remember I feel sad.
Perhaps I shall forget this too.
Journals Of Enreal 