Category Archives: Reality

False truths to know

Posted by enreal on

Is it all in my head,

the miseries, insecurities, doubts?

Did they leave me,

or did I close them out?

Should I have fought,

for the other reasons ?
(Should I have heard them out?)

 

Perhaps it was me,

perhaps I am the one to blame.

Yet though it all,

I would listen just the same.

I begged and pleaded for one to make it clear.

Yet no one would show me

I saw them turn and disappear

(At least that’s how it seems)

 

Tell me it’s all in my head, please.

Every time I face a fear, I win.

Yet the fears within rage and shall always take my place

On the center of the stage

I wait

alone

with my false stories and reasons that drive me insane

My reasons have a name

It breathes with the same

Purpose

 

Self Worth

Turn Back

Posted by enreal on

Once upon a time I was unique… I spoke words true and laughed in the face of doubt… I was strong.

Once upon a time I was whole… I felt with my soul and spoke with my mind… Now my soul cries and my tears die… I was wrong.

Once upon a time I made a choice… I turned away and let them stray… they were my words… they were my songs… now I find I am all alone…

Once upon a time I said these words. It was the beginning of the end and now that end is gone. It disappeared and I fear my actions are unjustified… they can not change time… no matter how hard I try… I’m sorry doesn’t suffice

Mortality

Posted by enreal on

“God has put within our lives meanings and possibilities that quite outrun the limits of mortality.”
Harry Emerson Fosdick

As of late I have been thinking about death, not so much mine, yet not generalized. Perhaps it’s because I am more aware of it, perhaps it’s because it is part of life. I don’t know. I could say it’s because I am getting older, yet by todays standards I am very young. Perhaps it’s because I am afraid that if  were to leave today I would have little to show for my existence. Perhaps. Yet who knows?

 

What I do know is that one day I won’t be here, my family as I know it won’t either… what will be here is the next generation. If one day I have kids I will live in memory as my father lives in mine. If one day my words travel beyond these pages they will live in the minds of their readers… if.

If not, there is still infinity, there is still life, there is still the wind carries the air… if I am forgotten, as my father will be once I am gone we shall make the sun shine and the moon glow… we shall whisper in the wind as so many of the forgotten do… yet there is still that which does not forget…

 


 

through silence

Posted by enreal on

Image

Only through silence I will see

The dawn breaking in front of me

Its colors vivid,

though I remain blind

The light so timid,

in the shadows of my mind

~

Why have I silenced my soul

Heard it shout though always I know

That it was I who broke the dawn

I listened to it sing

its final song

The voice is gone

~

It shall remain undone

Until Silence has won

Be silent and know

that in truth, you beleive it dead

know the truth in its stead

Silence speaks volumes

They leave shadows

Posted by enreal on

Time passes

The wind whispers your name.

Thoughts pass

The mind holds them in vain.

The soul grasps

To the memories in pain.

Why must these memories fade?

~

Do I recall that which I lost?

The time spent for the highest of cost.

Love is paid from the bond which is made.

As life goes forward with or without a way.

Why must these memories fade?

~

Some may be unburdened, for memories weigh down.

Some may be melancholy, for there is something to be found…

“The memories carry lessons, leaving messages to be read Signs upon the threads… Anchors upon the lines of the mind…”

Why must these memories fade?

~

Loss and gain

Happiness and pain

Sorrow and shame

Through all we overcame…

Why must these memories fade?

~

They leave shadows

Shadows are not memories

A shadow is but darkness cast in the presence of light

it is not the light, only a glimpse

Time passes and the wind whispers your name.

Thoughts pass and the mind holds on in vain.

The soul grasps on to the memories in pain.

Why must these memories fade?

Did we?

Posted by enreal on

 

Did we really sign up for this? I was always a believer. A believer in fate, destiny, and something more… Now, every time I look around I am saddened. I see people struggling and am struggling myself. I see people living their lives and some who work so hard… and I wonder what will come of these choices. Will any of us really ever be happy? How can we define happiness anyway? Is it in moments? Is happiness a  thought, an action?

This is a ramble, because you really don’t know me. You know my words. You can sense my feelings and certain circumstance through these words. But in all reality I put out what I want to be felt and know.  If anyone knew who I really was…

The sad part is, no one really does, on these pages and in my world…

Over the passed 6 months my life has been a whirlwind. Changes upon changes upon changes. I am not good with change. On top of it all I am losing myself. I don’t write anymore, I do so much for others I can’t remember the last time I had a moment for myself, aside from know… and all i write for you is rambles… all i write for myself is nonsense… I suppose I am tired…

 

The point of this was to ask a question… Did we really sign up for this… I used to believe I did… now, I am trying to figure it out.

 

~E

Time speaks

Posted by enreal on

What say the time… when love becomes divine

When the spirit breaks… leaving behind the wake

The ripples upon water

The shallow darkness falters

`

What say the time… when knowledge leaves the mind

When the body trembles… chasing the passages of death

The passages of birth

The breeze escapes the deepest depth

The echos carried upon the softest of breath

`

What say the time… when the heart slows the spirit

When the soul loosens… the hold is free

It aches in remembering… it beats for life

It awakens… it forgets

`

What say the time… upon the sacred hour

When the mind and body see

When love and knowledge are mirrored

When the Heart and soul are free

The veil is lifted

The mirror reflects

The knowing that has been there

The knowledge held with care

The mind, the heart, the spirit, the soul… all hold pieces… perhaps they shall see

Upon the sacred hour

Forever shall they be free

For now Time is silent

Listen to be heard