Category Archives: Life

Invisible

Posted by enreal on

I can not describe in words what I feel, but I will try. It is a sad victory I win. An engrossing battle that wages against sense. A constant struggle that time and time again stares me in the face and weakly smiles in defeat… and in bittersweet triumph.

What is this I feel? I can not explain, yet once again I try reason, I try faith. I try to understand what is happening…

I watch life as it passes. Living behind who I am and who I should be. Living with who I know and who I could be. Waiting and silently forgetting the voice which has spoken beautiful dreams to my soul. Choosing not to listen to the dreams for the fear of losing is far worse than truly accepting what could be, even if only in a dream.

What a beautiful dream.

So for now I can not describe in words what I feel, so I leave it invisible to my eyes, while ringing vibrations to my soul. My soul knows these invisible dreams, thoughts and fears… and although I can not explain, I have no need to explain…

The only need is to say, I am sorry

Theft of Time

Posted by enreal on

Ever conceptualize time? Not mathematical, or scientific, just time. What time we receive is objective and relative… it is too short. When we realize what we have…it is gone. We live our lives not alive. We try to make something out of nothing that matters. Our careers, money, power…What are we doing?

Is this life? Is this living? Do we not need fulfillment? Do these thing fulfill?
Time is funny. We blink, aware that we are 28. Blink again 45. Is time a thief?

One could assume so, blame time for our wasted lives. Wasted opportunities. Why not blame ourselves? We could look back on the past, what we know of it. We could see that humans have been around for thousands of years. Life has been present for millions of years. And we are given 80 (if we are lucky) years. That is a blink. If not a blink, a thought of a blink. If that.

We blame and not accept responsibility for our lives. We make and create what is apparent. We live and want what does not matter. We breathe and take for granted the air. We are not seeing the possibilities. We wait for something bigger to come along, instead of interpreting reality… We don’t say what we need to say, because we think, we think we have another day. We think we have it coming to us. Then what?

Is time a thief? I think it is we who steal from time. We take and take…waste and waste. And want more, blaming time for taking the things we want most away. In that sense. It is you and I who are the thieves. Time should not be blamed anymore. Let it be. We need start living. Taking in what has been given to us…For no matter how long we have, we have it and so many don’t.

In these thoughts I ask you questions… I know not all perceive time as I do… perhaps I am jaded… perhaps I am tired… Either way, there are many out there who are stronger than I… who would say time is the bearer and we are the reapers… either way… there are many who say time is a blessing… I would agree with a grain of doubt… sometimes time is funny

Listen to her… please

Posted by enreal on

Gabrielle Bouliane (Austin Poetry Slam)

Gabrielle Bouliane:  July 24, 1966 — January 29, 2010

(video recorded on December 5, 2009)

If only we could listen… truly listen to her… thank you ToBeMe for sharing this… and please I believe everyone should see this… pass the message on, as ToBeMe states…

“do it so that this message rings around the world.”

This was written about her by her family

The lovely and amazing performance poet Gabrielle Bouliane performs for the audience at the Austin Poetry Slam.

This would be her last public performance.

Gabrielle was diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer shortly before this video was filmed. Our dear sister fought hard, but she ended her fight January 29, 2010. She was surrounded by family and friends, and her passing was in a very quiet, peaceful room full of love and affection. She was so brave.

Please share this video with everyone you know. I am sure it would tickle her to no end to have this video get as viral as a video can be. Tell the world.

Bunny up!

For Now

Posted by enreal on

The days begin to fold into one. Months, weeks, days, hours… or perhaps simply minutes. I can’t tell anymore. Staring at the second hand wondering, why I can’t cry. Why I can’t feel. Why I can’t see…

Then I turn away. I walk away, once more… tired… this too shall pass…

Sighing a heavy breath, one which never really alleviates anything, a breath which is part of my soul, never parting, never detaching from my chest, from my heart… it is a heavy breath…

Then I try once more to breathe, to feel, to see, to cry… I still can’t… for now.

This too shall pass

Prophecy

Posted by enreal on

Behind a veil

Beneath a lie
Within the secrets

All answers hide

For mysteries
More questions
Through histories
More lessons

As divinations curse
As predictions maze
The prophecies play
As the wisest may say

“An eternal  quest
A prophetic unrest
Be there ever a test

Lest time in time we will rest”

Please forgive me

Posted by enreal on

“Please forgive me for all the things I have said”, she spoke softly.

AS she sat there, in front of the old mirror. The mirror which lay against the wall, the wall of the farthest room, hidden from sight of the minds eye.

“Please forgive me for all the things I have done.”

Slowly she trurned, another reflection cast back. Eyes heavy, features strikingly similar to those of her own.

“Please forgive me for all the things I have thought.”

“Please forgive me for all the things I have felt.”

“Please forgive me for all the things I have wished.”

“Please forgive me, because I know you know”

Defeated she fell to the ground… the reflection slowly moved to her… reached to her… and smiled…

“of course I knew, i have always known” the words floated through the air, they existed for only the girl on the floor… broken, defeated, victorious…

She opened her eyes, her mirror, her other, gone…

“I knew”