Inverted

Imagine sorrow digging a trench in your soul
A seemingly endless hole
Whose bottom is filled with pain, grief and sadness

The base is so deep
So is the pain

In that trench of everlasting grief there is a breath
A glimmer of thought

The amount of suffering it takes to fill
Is the amount of depth it takes to complete

That feeling
Inspiring

Invert the pain
That trench…that feeling
That is your capacity of hope
That seemingly endless hole
Will one day be the seemingly endless mountain

The peaks arising
The beautiful horizon
Away from the pain
Away from the sorrow
Away from the darkness
Into the light
Joy and happiness

The capacity for pain
Is the capacity for Love
Inverted

People are too quick to dismiss emotions. People are too quick to evoke the wrong emotions. If we accept all feelings, painful and painless, then we might learn. -Enreal

“What does not kill me makes me stronger” -Friedrich Neitzsche

“Suffering is permanent, obscure and dark, and shares the nature of infinity”
-Wordsworth

22

Has it really been that long?

The days melt into one.

The nights blur and fade into nothing.

 

I was here,

It felt like yesterday,

yet I know I am wrong.

 

Has it really been that long?

I am sorry.

A moment

When she is here, it’s beautiful. It’s as if we become one and are free. For that moment when I see her I know. I know and so does she. But what we know doesn’t  explain the why.

Why has the world led us to this moment? Am I referring to my moment, your moments, the moments experienced by the world, by life.  Or am I simply being mindful of none other than myself? As always.

As always, except for perhaps when we reunite. For years I have been searching and running. From one to the other watching and waiting. Hoping for a hint of that feeling I have when I see her. It is chemical. It is euphoric. And it lasts as long as I see her.

I can see her.

I can feel her,

and I know her, as I’ve known no other.

I wish it could be forever, yet I, I am the one who leaves.

It is my mind which wanders, it is my eye which turns away. It is that moment which lasts but a second that carries infinite circumstance and absence. It is I who leaves…

And with time, comes the moments. Memories are bliss, what we perceive is as real as a shadow.

Who is she?

Loss

Image

I

What would you have me do

Sit here simply and dream of you

While my dreams lay broken on the floor

Never to fly

Never to soar

II

What would you have me do

Get on my knees and beg of you

To unveil your eyes and hear my tears

They are only tears

They fall

III

What would you have me do

As I know I have all of you

Despite my mind

I know my  heart

If ever should part

It would be  a start to loss

Dreams of Love

Dream/ 1: a series of thoughts, images or emotions occurring during sleep 2: a dreamlike vision 3: something noted for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality 4: ideal
Dream/ 1: to have a dream of 2: to indulge in daydreams or fantasies 3: imagine

During night or day, during sleep or relaxation, we drift… sometimes we see another world where our lives are different…sometimes we see our lives perfect…or simply we dream. We dream of ideal circumstances… believing in all, and all believing in us as if everything we believe doesn’t exist at all.
They say we need our dreams, that short time when we slip into unconsciousness, we need that time to take hold of our emotions and funnel them into the belief that there is something else that exists.

The truth of the matter is we dream, we visualize and conceptualize life, circumstances upon circumstances which in most cases makes little to no sense at all. Yet, we are told to, “read into our dreams”, “interpret and analyze” the hell out of them, until we see an elephant as an admission of guilt for hating our mothers, or something as ridiculous as that. Dreams are an escape, or a gateway to that life which we seek. Dreams enable us to be that hero we naturally are not, to fly which naturally we can not do, or to be as we would never be. I live for my dreams; they are my gateway to heaven.

I dreamed a dream so full of passion…unconventional passion for life, and love… it made me want to die for I fear shall never feel that ever again… or worse, forget the reality of it…

Passion/ 2: strong feeling; also Pl: the emotions are distinguished from reason 3: RAGE, ANGER 4: LOVE; also; an object of affection or enthusiasm 5: sexual desire- passionate.

What other word could hold such a large variety of meaning? One definition would capture the huge scope of human plight and want all at once. Passion is what we seek for fulfillment in life, whether it is passion for what we do and create or passion for what we are and who we love.

This dream is simple, to feel passion for love, passion for life. To want to know of love as in the stories. To want to be the damsel in distress saved by some prince charming, simply because we all need love. We all need to feel. We are given such a short time, before the sun sets on our horizon we need to reach for more, forget about loss and capture what there is to gain. There is always love. To believe in love…

Love

Love 1: strong affection 2: warm attachment 3: an attraction based on sexual desire 4: a beloved person
Love 1: CHERISH 2: to feel passion, devotion, or tenderness for 3: CARESS 4: to take pleasure in

The types of love we seek daily, love from…parents, spouses, lovers, colleagues, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

We seek love everyday, we need to be felt for the way we feel for others. Even the most cold hearted will feel love for something, crudely put, an example being money if nothing else.

Sometimes you need to see the truth in order to move forward. This is simple. I believed that there was no love out there, only what you read about or saw in the movies. In the past it seemed that there was a possibility for love, chivalry and romance. In today’s society there is only desire for sex and emptiness in romance. If love songs and movies are for the dreamers and do not exist out of the scope of these fictional things, then answer why we listen, or why we watch, or why everyday we hope?

This arose from a dream… A dream of love lost… a dream of love found… a dream of no love at all… but alas it was just a dream… and like all dreams, you eventually wake…

Let us venture into dreams once again… it is safe… if only for another infinite journey through love lost

Awake

Behind them, I feel

the movement

the fear.

They are my eyes.

~

Beneath them, I hear

the pulsing

the throbbing

they are my cries.

~

Relentless reminders

Mortality

Reality

Heavy

with knowing

~

Knowing

the breath I fear

trapped me here.

I try to sleep, I try to breathe

but all I hear as I dream

is the thunder

that I fear within.

~

My heart

~

I am awake, though my eyes are closed. My heart beats heavy, though no one knows. The sound is noise and it keeps me awake, all the while my eyes remain closed.