Would they realize I was gone? Vanishing, never to be heard from again.

Would they take my  leave as an invitation to search, to try to figure out… what happened?

Would they feel my absence? More than physical, more than emotional? Or lack there of…

Would they take my leave as prompted? Something led cause to this, yet they know not what…

Reassure them that I have left so many times, this is but the first time they noticed.

The countless hours spent within

My thoughts

An untold number of wishes

A myriad of dreams

All passed on, by the ones who now take notice

I will return. Time moves strange where we are. The absence noticed by the others, is simply a flicker of recognition

This makes me smile, for they know not where we are.

The others see and mirror the other facets of where we are.

The many sides of the cut gem

Our mind…

Would they realize I was gone? Only if they realized they were too.



I can handle it.

For now.


This feeling.

If only to be.




By this.


yet accepted

and wanted.

for all eternity


I can not describe in words what I feel, but I will try. It is a sad victory I win. An engrossing battle that wages against sense. A constant struggle that time and time again stares me in the face and weakly smiles in defeat… and in bittersweet triumph.

What is this I feel? I can not explain, yet once again I try reason, I try faith. I try to understand what is happening…

I watch life as it passes. Living behind who I am and who I should be. Living with who I know and who I could be. Waiting and silently forgetting the voice which has spoken beautiful dreams to my soul. Choosing not to listen to the dreams for the fear of losing is far worse than truly accepting what could be, even if only in a dream.

What a beautiful dream.

So for now I can not describe in words what I feel, so I leave it invisible to my eyes, while ringing vibrations to my soul. My soul knows these invisible dreams, thoughts and fears… and although I can not explain, I have no need to explain…

The only need is to say, I am sorry