Barely Understood

Sometimes I think silent thoughts

In a language just barely understood

It is the language of the mind

It is the language of the Soul

It is a language which can not be spoken

A language which can only be shown

It is the language felt in a glance

A language of Love, Purpose, and Knowledge

A true love…

A language in the Mind

It speaks quietly truths unlearned

It grows softly under the veil of silence.

These truths unknown

Spoken eloquently

Peacefully

This voice unheard

This voice unshared

The butterflies are here

They are fluttering…

I hear those silent thoughts again…

They speak of happiness

In a language just barely heard…

If I knew how to describe this smile

I would

In this language

Barely understood

The I

I want to feel what I can not see


Look beyond my minds eye


Find within the sacred ties


I want to touch what is not real


Beneath my skin


To reach from within


I want to forget that which I have learned


Believe in what can not be proven


Perceive what has been hidden


Can I wake from this dream?

My Body

My mind

Through space

Through time


Can I finish this task?

 

Challenge my purpose


Take off the masks


Can I feel what can not be heard?

Breathe what cannot be seen

Hunger for knowledge and feast upon wisdom

Will I reach the end


Where time will lapse


When matter will suspend


All can be learned if only one listens to the questions… the infinite questions

Greater purpose

As the nights close and the mornings open, I am left with wonderment. Life by its own right is wondrously full of beauty and perfection. All aspects connecting to each other flawlessly as if by design. I am not going to make this about religion or philosophy, that is on you. I am only going to ponder the perfections and imperfections.

With all that is perfect in this life we as people are one of life’s most beautiful creatures. All so different yet all connected by one undeniable circumstance…Life. As being part of one greater good we must recognize and appreciate the randomness.

One would think, being it such a small world and such a “short” life, we* would want to connect and learn from each other to the fullest. Yet we hide. We engulf ourselves with such menial and dulling tasks. We distract our purpose for the routine. We shadow our faces and hide behind masks. We wear such beautiful masks and hide our souls more beautiful light. This in itself is exhausting.

What is the purpose of these masks? To hide negative emotions? To conceal deep feelings?
To repress sadness and anger? Why must these be disguised? What is wrong with these emotions? Life is based upon complexity, as are our emotions. And that is beauty.

On the other hand it may not be a mask, it may be something deeper, darker, it may be fear… is it simply the subconscious hiding fear? Fear of the unknown? I am aware of people not wishing to address certain issues such as death, life, God, meaning, purpose, destiny…The list can go on and on. Metaphysics is captivating and certainly scary to some. Is the solution to hide? To pretend they don’t exist? To not question?

I know not the answers, just thinking on “paper”. It makes me sad sometimes, I try to find people to converse on these issues. I feel as if I am alone on my feelings, I feel great sadness for those who wish not to question life. What greater purpose have we? What greater adventure is there than to seek and uncover the meanings within ourselves. As for now I sit and stare into the screen, I try to find why I chose this topic today…

As Duma Key was pondering his masks, perhaps I too have pondered mine

*As “we”, I speak only on people I encounter and myself. I speak not for all, for there are some that are stronger than I and can break the facade.

Alive

“I thought you were dead…”

I woke slowly, my mind still wrapped in thought. How vivid the night was. The sound of his breath. The touch of his hand. The soft, safe security of his arms… the warmth of his worried eyes…

Another night of dreams, more moments fading into visions, merging into the flashes of emotions… forgetting reality and death… as our minds traverse universe upon universe…

“no my daughter, I am not dead,” he replied with a soft smile.

An amazing dream I had with my father. As always when I dream of him, I forget he died. I miss him in person, here in my life… but I know he is still alive in my heart… as he told me last night in our far away world…

Hard to believe it has been almost three years…

bitter calm of winter

The smell of winter.

Darkness arrives early this time of year.

Time passes slow.

The sound of my voice is clearer as the wind silences the world.

What is it about the oncoming peace that leaves my heart confused? The calm on the waters is soothing as my mind races far into the future, doubling back and charging through the barrier of time… flimsy really… for one can always venture into the past, the future is what leaves us in shadow…

There is a calling from within the mist of the shadow… hearing what we know, yet understanding as one would a lost language… or understanding as one would a smile… sad is the voice from within… as is the look in the eyes of my dying father… Did he know he was going to die that night? The look in his eyes say yes. Yes… yet it was just a dream, another lost memory, just another dream. It fades…


Fading as are the years one ventures away from the sound of his voice, or is it my voice… Can I hear the difference?  Do I know of what I speak? Is this really about him? Or is it really about me? Just another vision, just another dream, just another tear which falls to my feet…


The ground is cold beneath my feet… I stand before the calm shore and the moon glistens its light upon the waters… darkest night so full of light… where is my vision? where is my sight? I turn to find my father by my side… the bitter calm of winter… he smiles… he is here again, for now… then why am I so sad?


Because these are just more words coming from my head… more words… or simply another dream… Yes… it was just a dream, another lost memory, just another dream… coming from my head


Dad