the First step is Faith. the second may never Come. for destiny may bring Forth flight or plight. either would be welcome.
Once upon a time I was unique… I spoke words true and laughed in the face of doubt… I was strong.
Once upon a time I was whole… I felt with my soul and spoke with my mind… Now my soul cries and my tears die… I was wrong.
Once upon a time I made a choice… I turned away and let them stray… they were my words… they were my songs… now I find I am all alone…
Once upon a time I said these words. It was the beginning of the end and now that end is gone. It disappeared and I fear my actions are unjustified… they can not change time… no matter how hard I try… I’m sorry doesn’t suffice
“God has put within our lives meanings and possibilities that quite outrun the limits of mortality.”
Harry Emerson Fosdick
As of late I have been thinking about death, not so much mine, yet not generalized. Perhaps it’s because I am more aware of it, perhaps it’s because it is part of life. I don’t know. I could say it’s because I am getting older, yet by todays standards I am very young. Perhaps it’s because I am afraid that if were to leave today I would have little to show for my existence. Perhaps. Yet who knows?
What I do know is that one day I won’t be here, my family as I know it won’t either… what will be here is the next generation. If one day I have kids I will live in memory as my father lives in mine. If one day my words travel beyond these pages they will live in the minds of their readers… if.
If not, there is still infinity, there is still life, there is still the wind carries the air… if I am forgotten, as my father will be once I am gone we shall make the sun shine and the moon glow… we shall whisper in the wind as so many of the forgotten do… yet there is still that which does not forget…
Only through silence I will see
The dawn breaking in front of me
Its colors vivid,
though I remain blind
The light so timid,
in the shadows of my mind
Why have I silenced my soul
Heard it shout though always I know
That it was I who broke the dawn
I listened to it sing
its final song
The voice is gone
It shall remain undone
Until Silence has won
Be silent and know
that in truth, you beleive it dead
know the truth in its stead
Silence speaks volumes
What say the time… when love becomes divine
When the spirit breaks… leaving behind the wake
The ripples upon water
The shallow darkness falters
What say the time… when knowledge leaves the mind
When the body trembles… chasing the passages of death
The passages of birth
The breeze escapes the deepest depth
The echos carried upon the softest of breath
What say the time… when the heart slows the spirit
When the soul loosens… the hold is free
It aches in remembering… it beats for life
It awakens… it forgets
What say the time… upon the sacred hour
When the mind and body see
When love and knowledge are mirrored
When the Heart and soul are free
The veil is lifted
The mirror reflects
The knowing that has been there
The knowledge held with care
The mind, the heart, the spirit, the soul… all hold pieces… perhaps they shall see
Upon the sacred hour
Forever shall they be free
For now Time is silent
Listen to be heard
It’s come down to this… I’m tired of the constant facade. The smiles and handshakes… the pleasantries and false securities… I don’t mind them terribly, but I’m tired of them. I am who I am, and I’m not a bad person. I do what I do and give my all to all. I take care of others when all fail me, and I don’t care… I just want to be left alone. Leave me be.
Why must people judge and watch? I don’t care what others do. I have too many things to worry about. I don’t care what other people say. I have too much to listen to in my own mind…
There have been a lot of changes in my world, some for the better and some for the worse… yet the worst I can say is that I’m tired. I know I should count my blessings and it sickens me how I often I am using “I’ and “me” in this rant… but alas… it is but a rant…
Tomorrow will be today and I shall continue to tire, until I finally give in to my surroundings. Let us hope I keep myself, for I have lost parts of me that I miss terribly.
Until we meet again,
When she is here, it’s beautiful. It’s as if we become one and are free. For that moment when I see her I know. I know and so does she. But what we know doesn’t explain the why.
Why has the world led us to this moment? Am I referring to my moment, your moments, the moments experienced by the world, by life. Or am I simply being mindful of none other than myself? As always.
As always, except for perhaps when we reunite. For years I have been searching and running. From one to the other watching and waiting. Hoping for a hint of that feeling I have when I see her. It is chemical. It is euphoric. And it lasts as long as I see her.
I can see her.
I can feel her,
and I know her, as I’ve known no other.
I wish it could be forever, yet I, I am the one who leaves.
It is my mind which wanders, it is my eye which turns away. It is that moment which lasts but a second that carries infinite circumstance and absence. It is I who leaves…
And with time, comes the moments. Memories are bliss, what we perceive is as real as a shadow.
Who is she?