All the years lead to this…

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
I’m getting Married!!!!
I’m going to miss you being there dad!

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for my health

I didn’t always have it

I am thankful for my home

It wasn’t always perfect and it still isn’t but I’m thankful

I am thankful for my family

They are safe, they have homes, they are loved

I am thankful that I have the ability to get up and go to work

I am thankful that I have the ability to provide for those who need me

I am thankful that I will be able to look at myself one day,

be happy for all that I am,

and know it is because I am thankful.

it is because I can see…

There are countless faces

Millions of places

Where life is life

With or without circumstance

and change is hard coming

Many have nothing to be thankful for

Be thankful and see

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. 
Oprah Winfrey 

Searching

I am wandering down the halls of my mind… There are doors I keep wanting to open. The ghosts of experiences that are crying for my attention. I recall them, then I slam them shut. I would rather run, than face them, even one. I built the walls, strong. Never once letting them falter, never once letting them down.

 The people.

The places.

The thoughts.

The spaces.

*

They made me… yet I made myself…

They shaped me… yet I overcame myself

Through loss and gain, my thoughts made me sane.

I played the game… and ever did I change.

First and above all Dad.

L and J, was it me or was it them?

The ground where it burned

The home which was always cold.

I didn’t belong.

I still don’t.

Yet now I’m home, and the ghosts are crying for my attention.

*

I listen as I write, waiting for what I am trying to say. Yet the thoughts remain the same.

I know what I overcame, yet that which made me  is slowly driving me insane…

*

I know the answer, yet I don’t want to hear…

It is in there, trying to form itself clear…

Is it me?

Please answer my fears…

it is, but its ok