The I

I want to feel what I can not see

Look beyond my minds eye

Find within the sacred ties

I want to touch what is not real

Beneath my skin

To reach from within

I want to forget that which I have learned

Believe in what can not be proven

Perceive what has been hidden

Can I wake from this dream?

My Body

My mind

Through space

Through time

Can I finish this task?


Challenge my purpose

Take off the masks

Can I feel what can not be heard?

Breathe what cannot be seen

Hunger for knowledge and feast upon wisdom

Will I reach the end

Where time will lapse

When matter will suspend

All can be learned if only one listens to the questions… the infinite questions

Greater purpose

As the nights close and the mornings open, I am left with wonderment. Life by its own right is wondrously full of beauty and perfection. All aspects connecting to each other flawlessly as if by design. I am not going to make this about religion or philosophy, that is on you. I am only going to ponder the perfections and imperfections.

With all that is perfect in this life we as people are one of life’s most beautiful creatures. All so different yet all connected by one undeniable circumstance…Life. As being part of one greater good we must recognize and appreciate the randomness.

One would think, being it such a small world and such a “short” life, we* would want to connect and learn from each other to the fullest. Yet we hide. We engulf ourselves with such menial and dulling tasks. We distract our purpose for the routine. We shadow our faces and hide behind masks. We wear such beautiful masks and hide our souls more beautiful light. This in itself is exhausting.

What is the purpose of these masks? To hide negative emotions? To conceal deep feelings?
To repress sadness and anger? Why must these be disguised? What is wrong with these emotions? Life is based upon complexity, as are our emotions. And that is beauty.

On the other hand it may not be a mask, it may be something deeper, darker, it may be fear… is it simply the subconscious hiding fear? Fear of the unknown? I am aware of people not wishing to address certain issues such as death, life, God, meaning, purpose, destiny…The list can go on and on. Metaphysics is captivating and certainly scary to some. Is the solution to hide? To pretend they don’t exist? To not question?

I know not the answers, just thinking on “paper”. It makes me sad sometimes, I try to find people to converse on these issues. I feel as if I am alone on my feelings, I feel great sadness for those who wish not to question life. What greater purpose have we? What greater adventure is there than to seek and uncover the meanings within ourselves. As for now I sit and stare into the screen, I try to find why I chose this topic today…

As Duma Key was pondering his masks, perhaps I too have pondered mine

*As “we”, I speak only on people I encounter and myself. I speak not for all, for there are some that are stronger than I and can break the facade.


“I thought you were dead…”

I woke slowly, my mind still wrapped in thought. How vivid the night was. The sound of his breath. The touch of his hand. The soft, safe security of his arms… the warmth of his worried eyes…

Another night of dreams, more moments fading into visions, merging into the flashes of emotions… forgetting reality and death… as our minds traverse universe upon universe…

“no my daughter, I am not dead,” he replied with a soft smile.

An amazing dream I had with my father. As always when I dream of him, I forget he died. I miss him in person, here in my life… but I know he is still alive in my heart… as he told me last night in our far away world…

Hard to believe it has been almost three years…


I don’t want to go

I’m afraid to

I’m afraid to leave

I’m afraid I will never dream this dream again

I’m afraid I will never feel this way again

I’m afraid if I fall asleep

Once more

It would have all been a dream

A dream within a dream

Please stay