Oedipus From time to time

Another of my fathers prose. He was fascinated with the myth of Oedipus, and found deeper meanings within the mythic fables. This book (another not yet to be published) this masterpiece is another gem waiting to be discovered on my hard drive. Now I share one of the “Speeches”, as each chapter is a speech, each chapter holds value. Enjoy…

A collection of speeches called late encounters
With a lonely spirit

by Silviu G. Klein

1. The blind

It came with a strike of silence when the heart begun pulsing backwards in a rhythm close to frenzy. The capacity of enlargement quadrupled and the emotions swept with a cruel and unbelievable velocity just before the high tides invaded unguarded beeches displaying no mercy. Once in a while one, chosen by random survives and the miracle is obsolete, coming with no demand, no desire to outlive those who are drowning in self inflicted misery. What could be ever worst than betraying yourself, generating vulnerable spots large enough for open targets to be precisely hit with no margins of error.

Those moments in your life are beyond being regrettable; they will follow you wherever you go, with the spectrum and shape of a gruesome nightmare, inerasable and bitter.

They are no real connections with anything we might know and stirs emotions or even panic. Stubborn explorers are uncovering the surface and what is revealed is no more than an illusion meant to derail our hopes. That point on the horizon, where the passions intersect the focus of disillusions, was chosen by random and staring too often became a goal of our journey to a vanished world. Surrealistic image… not every beauty should be a target, not every crash can be avoided; it will always be the main stream that doesn’t drift, just flows with the speed of concerns… That’s all what is left to be aimed at?

Did you ever imagine, before seeing, those immense tides ready to conquer the land with a sharp upward move and then to capture the fruit of it with a cheerful sweeping retreat? When it was taking and hiding and keeping with a marsupial care always beneath, always shoving to anyone the unimaginable appetite… The beaches weren’t deserted completely; we just couldn’t assimilate disappearance after so much life being there before.

History is repeating with perpetuity, most of the time without giving us clear warnings, without making us aware of fire or flood or earth shaking vanishing powers once in a state of total submission. Those times are not with us and our life moves on, like nothing happened and we are behaving so strange after is gone, we are not even bragging about. The life after life would not be the subject if we would not have invented it. Who would be more qualified to mention pain than the one in several millions which have served hard labor? It is a cold inferno with no fire ever, with no combustion of any kind, where naked bodies are shivering in the cauldron, where the screams are frozen before being heard. The question is why the sufferers end up being moved from one inferno to the other? Perhaps it is a strange farce of destiny attributing pain piled up over pain with very little to follow; less than we hope in our fantasies accompanied by a music borrowed from another reality, the one which never becomes what we expected and always is fading away with a speed easy to pursue by foot. We are in a bizarre habit of ignoring life itself and paying more attention to the waves mounting successively and covering waves.

Soon after, the bad spirits learned about impassivity and assaulted us with an increased rage of destruction taking our imagination for a rollercoaster ride and invariable ending right here where we begun dreaming. It is no different than the theory of an object fallen from the night table; the dream ends when the object hits the floor? My theory is that it was the force witch saved us from being exposed again, or crucified for our rebellion.

We got caught in the reverse angle of views due to the presence of so many mirrors. I could have read the text on the wall, it still doesn’t make sense as much I try reading backwards or upside down… it shouldn’t be a wall here but all the reflections locate it where doesn’t suppose to be. If I remember well, the nearest wall shown on my map had a different shape and the location plus the character of it is with any doubt, wrong. My fingertips are touching the map forcing me to change direction. I continue to grope until I stumble and falling straight on my face, vomiting I couldn’t make the rational move. Spitting sand I remember seeing shapes, getting trapped in the image and still wonder by the touch of the beauty. How could that be in this light where shadows are not following objects, projecting always the next object in a totally different direction, like we are living in a immortal transparent world where the absurd is so common that nothing surprises us anymore?

All those silhouettes are so alive in my memory that I could smell the colors; I could taste the reddish gray of the mud and when I feel the breeze touching my hair and I refuse to believe it. I could step back, touch the breeze and sail underneath your wings, to show how thankful I am for the gift of still sensing the perfume of your body; nothing compares with this feeling of plentitude… I hesitate stretching my arms afraid that I’m not going to reach you.

“Dad, my eye hurts” I remember the gulf by the smell of carcasses penetrating my nostrils. Time passed and I still keep the smell. I don’t wish to return to the gulf even if my parents are peacefully resting there. I’m not sure… it was the last time I held my father’s hand and before we said good bye I heard his tears sliding on his unshaved face. “Dad, could you come closer”, he coughs dressing his voice “Son, you can’t get anything closer than this”, he didn’t want me to know, he was hiding his tears. “Dad, don’t leave now, my eye hurts so bad” I tried to impress him.

It was late and my dad left already, a little bit unbalanced, I know it by the sound of schlepping unevenly his feet. He couldn’t hear me being too close to the river’s torrent and kept distancing from me while my ears turned and kept pointing towards the direction where he left.

When I think of him

When I think of my father I get sad…Why do I remember the pain, the sadness in his eyes. Why do I focus on his suffering, instead of remembering his passions and how happy they made him. Why do I think of how life let him down, and him never complaining about it? Why do I wish he could have had more, given all that he sacrificed. He put away any wants for himself and sacrificed everything including dignity to survive…

When I think of my father I remember his eyes…the knowledge and power behind a fading facade. His life had begun to drain before he began to experience it. His father whom he loved and cherished, passed before his time. His beloved mother with whom he held the highest respect…died at also too soon. He had an underlying ability to feel empathy.

When I think of my father I remember how proud he was…Not about himself, but everything and everyone. He could make his daughter feel guilty because I felt that I did not deserve his credit. His achievements in the kitchen were never thwarted by my lack of enthusiasm…”have some of my stomach (tripe) soup!!!It is delicious…Come on have some, at least try it!”
All I did was complain of the smell and make fun of him, in a half serious way, he loved when I joked on him. He had a wonderful sense of humor! Although his jokes sometimes were lost in translation. Life gets lost in translation, along with love.

When I think of my father I remember how much he loved life… He never got to see any of it, and his desires were so great, his dreams were so large. I pray now he can begin to see. I pray God grants him serenity.

Good Bye

Why do we forget the living
Yet remember the dead

Why is it always too late
To say the right things

Why do we take life for granted
We never appreciate what we see

When the night came
I had the chance

When the morning broke
I screamed in pain
I screamed in vain

I never said goodbye
I wish I had

If I close my eyes
I can still see you

If I close my mind
I can still hear you

It never remains the same
Life and her cruel heart

It is not always what it seems
Then forever falls short

Leaving behind time
Time to hurt for the past

In the name of…God?

Are you a good Christian?

Are you a good Muslim?

Are you a good Jew?

What ever faith you believe…
What ever happened to just being a good person?

Is monotheistic obedience leading to social and fundamental intolerance?
Are centuries of beliefs turning into a mass of ignorance?Do our beliefs poison society?
Did we not learn anything from the centuries of war?
Did we not learn through our enlightened knowledge that we are all so very similar?

Only consciousness separates us (if that).

In the name of God, Yahwey, Allah, Haile Selassie, Shangdi 上帝, Shen 神,Zhu, Tian Zhu 主,天主, Tian 天, Akal Purakh…
All these names, representing a common omnipresence.
A beauty encompassing power that can be both salvation and damnation at once…
These names give hope to millions and have inspired millions to do wonderful things.
So then, how did these names lead to some of the most unimaginable atrocities?

Is it in the name of God?
Or is God an excuse?

The meaning of God, what it represents, whether or not you believe…it is a hope…a sense of purpose…a reason…
All these names…The Name… God

I was recently asked if I was a good Christian. I am private about my beliefs, but it got me thinking on this topic.
My conclusion is this…whether or not you believe in anything is on you. Only you can make yourself happy. How you live your life and whether or not you are a “good” believer or follower is your decision to make, and is no ones place to judge.

And as for God…what God stands for is more than war and violence. Remember always, the potential is infinite.

The name of God…It is amazing what a Name can hold…

Response…”I don’t believe in…”

In response to a challenge, Challenging ones beliefs. Sibbia made me explore a part of me that I never questioned before…my beliefs. I believe in almost anything that is beautiful, I do not discredit ones beliefs, faith or values. I reflected on my beliefs, things that I may not believe in, using her examples, I tried to find something. Silly as it might sound I believe in a lot of things. Some abstract, conservative, some radical. It was odd as I reflected. So I will respond “Why don’t you believe in…?”

Why don’t you believe in…
God, Mohammed, Christ, Buddha…
Power of the mind, Power of the Soul, The Soul?

Why can’t everything exist? That in itself is narrow minded, proof or no proof.

My theory is, who are we to ask? We are the discoverers of life. We hold no claim to any of these philosophical concepts. We only gave names to things we had before us. We only looked upon and identified things as we made sense of them. But it is we who made the laws we govern.

An example. The Sun. It is a bright and powerful star. It is one of millions in this galaxy, one of billions in this universe, and so on. But is it a star? If we found life somewhere else, another universe, and they told you it was not a star, but something else, would you believe them? Because they said so, would you want proof? That is the fall…we want proof, can’t leave good enough alone. Why can’t we believe in the beautiful. The concepts that are above and beyond us. Why must everything be tainted? Who is the originator, the source? Who defined us?

To me believing is necessary, we live in such sad times. Poverty, Famine, War, Intolerance, Negligence, why can’t we leave room for mystery? I personally have to hide my beliefs in fear of ridicule. Ignorance is to blame, along with fear. I wonder if they are the same? If you have nothing to believe in, what’s the sense of living. Life would be birth and death, black and white. Where is the beauty and mystery in that?

So then, where are the answers? I believe, proof or none, we hold all the answers in our Soul.
In a way it can all be proven, all, every last unimaginable, unattainable, unprovable thing. The Soul and Mind holds and creates some of the most beautiful and vivid answers. Imagination is the key. We create in our minds countless worlds, infinite space. We create a reality. This may sound strange, but when you don’t believe, you cease to be.

To read the full post click here. Worth the read and thought. It is good to challenge ones beliefs, and although I myself did not, I reaffirmed my beliefs and feel ever more strong without proof. Thank You Sibbia!