Slowly I turn to see your face,
the lines around your eyes.
Are they smiling or are they sad?
I try to catch your stare
Its gaze far from here
I watch your movements,
Your body unattached
I touch your shoulder, as if waking from a trance
I felt the touch against my shoulder
I felt the pull of energy from mine and mine from yours
I felt your spirit cling as if for hope, waiting for more
So far away are your thoughts
As mine are reaching for yours
It makes me cry
The saline tears fall to your side
They turned your gaze
My attention drawn
I face you,
You finally see me
Our beautiful eyes
Be that they always see light
Be that they alway learn
For they have
Even as vision fades
I am outside
You are Inside
Yet forever it feels as if we are always meant to be
Close enough to see, the withering reflection. The ripples upon the mirrored surface. Keeping up with our expectations. Your expectations. Who would listen if not you. I stopped a long time ago. The day, the hour, I don’t quite remember. I just know that I stopped. It was easier that way. Easier to go with you down that road.
Was it a lie?
Only to myself.
I walked away from you, with you. I made the choice and now I don’t know how to retrace the steps. I don’t know how to get you back. Penance, apologies, prayers, tears… nothing works. Even honesty… perhaps it was cowardice which failed us… I don’t remember.
The truth is I truly don’t remember the reason. I remember lying, fighting, trying to keep you quiet. I remember it being easier to hide you. Every week I let a piece of you go silent. I let you follow and in turn I let you lose your voice.. I know you are here with me, watching and silent.
I know it is your voice which is silent, though you shout out through the words. It is a relief that they keep coming, for when our words and thoughts mingle and I forget which it is which is speaking it makes me sad and happy. Who was speaking Enreal? Was it you or me?