Apart

Slowly I turn to see your face,

the lines around your eyes.

Are they smiling or are they sad?

I try to catch your stare

Its gaze far from here

I watch your movements,

Your body unattached

Unaware

*

I touch your shoulder, as if waking from a trance

I felt the touch against my shoulder

I felt the pull of energy from mine and mine from yours

I felt your spirit cling as if for hope, waiting for more

*

So far away are your thoughts

As mine are reaching for yours

So distant

It makes me cry

The saline tears fall to your side

*

They turned your gaze

Attention focused

My attention drawn

I face you,

You finally see me

You stare

Our eyes

Our beautiful eyes

*

Be that they always see light

Be that they alway learn

For they have

Even as vision fades

I am outside

You are Inside

*

Yet forever it feels as if we are always meant to be

Apart

Lost and Mingled

Close enough to see, the withering reflection. The ripples upon the mirrored surface. Keeping up with our expectations. Your expectations. Who would listen if not you. I stopped a long time ago. The day, the hour, I don’t quite remember. I just know that I stopped. It was easier that way. Easier to go with you down that road.

 

Was it a lie?

Only to myself.

 

I walked away from you, with you. I made the choice and now I don’t know how to retrace the steps. I don’t know how to get you back. Penance, apologies, prayers, tears… nothing works. Even honesty… perhaps it was cowardice which failed us… I don’t remember.

 

The truth is I truly don’t remember the reason. I remember lying, fighting, trying to keep you quiet. I remember it being easier to hide you. Every week I let a piece of you go silent. I let you follow and in turn I let you lose your voice.. I know you are here with me, watching and silent.

 

I know it is your voice which is silent, though you shout out through the words. It is a relief that they keep coming, for when our words and thoughts mingle and I forget which it is which is speaking it makes me sad and happy. Who was speaking Enreal? Was it you or me?