I slumber and my words fade. I am slowly slipping away. Who I am to who I was are night and day. I miss my place. I hardly remember my space. I am embarrassed and displaced. Simply disgraced… while my voice is erased.
There are those whom slumber and wake to find they have changed. Some remain and others stray. I do not know yet what I may or may not do for I am still changing. Into what… I do not know. I change for others, not myself… let me find strength to go back or do I wish to remain dormant? Remain asleep so I can not see? Time will tell.
For now I am sorry
Journals Of Enreal 
As always.. lovely, raw, transforming beauty…
There is great beauty in “not knowing.” In that not knowing is where we will find freedom. Sitting in that place brings fear to the surface…That space of “unknown: is vast and open and even more peaceful and allows more feeling than we have ever had.. We struggle to “know” rather than to surrender to truly being free. Sit with it dear one, trust the flow of the river.
~ I walk back to the house and find the room lit,
a woman illuminated, by the door a table with a rose,
with dark red thread. She turns to look.
The house is quiet, the wind shivers behind me,
where is a single drop of blood on her hand.
Those seven steps back to the house;
one step to take notice
the next one to look and praise
the third to be praised
the fourth is strangely for Love
the fifth to be caught between water and sky
the sixth is return
the seventh unspeakable except in
one small poem by the heart
spoken to one another
in secret
never to be said again…
Looking at the writing
and to see who is writing..
it was her hands, Only her hands.
A pure blessing that changed everything.
there are very few words that can be said to this… only that it is shared and it is understood. thank you for this, more than you could know
Dear enreal-
Like always, you have the words I do not.
I send you blessings and thanks for your beautiful heart.
Pearl
pearl…. your blessings are well received and greatly appreciated. I miss this place
Oh, I am so happy you two have kept in touch, even as I have fallen away. I’m trying to walk back, though – even if it’s just one step at a time.
No need to be sorry…it takes supernatural heroes and heroines to carve meaning in this shit storm of mediocrity.
TC… this made me smile… greatly appreciated my friend…
Wow…This is a very powerful sentiment. An interesting place to find oneself…
N~ interesting? yes it is I suppose… if only I could find my way back…
Well, maybe “interesting” is the wrong word. “I change for others, not myself” seems to be the key to me. This is why it is “interesting”…It’s almost as if in the dormancy of creativity you are not yourself. You are “someone else” — and that’s interesting…
N~ I suppose you are right… for the latter… in ore ways than even I care to understand. As always…. thank you
I must be crazy because this reminded me of what a seed of a flower may be fretting about right now….wondering if it should bloom and blossom in the spring sunshine or if it should stay hidden….keeping its beauty from the world….
never be sorry for your search to find what flower you are becoming….
thank you summer for your sentiments… as always beautiful and appreciated.
in silence thoughts echo in grace
silent maybe…. not erased….
sometimes I am not sure where my place is anymore
I look for that door that should be there, but where…
this is a haunting, but then when one wanders in the unknown world of lost
it always is…
by putting words to silent thoughts doesn’t that mean you are no longer suspended
but moving again….
I like this….
Take Care…
)0(
ladyblue
Thank you Lady Blue… your words ineed echo in my mind and they are lovely.
Have you found yourself yet? Yours has been such a poignant journal to read; I can feel your soul in you words.
Tim… I don’t think we ever truly find ourselves… it is in the journey and questions we ask… may we forever search and be satisfied in the journey
Now that is some insight… and I think you’re probably right. We’re in such a constant state of flux and change, that just when we think we’ve figured ourselves out, something hits us and alters our perception. I know I’m not the man I’d thought I’d be three years ago, and I relish to discover how much more I will change in the future.
There are so many dead links leading out of the past as I remember it. It’s nice to find this one of yours still alive. Hello!
As always your words leave me in a state of wonder…. & I’m wondering about you… & what exactly you are writing about… while also being spun into deep thoughts and reflection. & I’m thinking we are all changing… everyone…. everyday. For ourselves… for others.. for so many reasons we may never understand. Because of our own actions, wants, fears, desires… because of things done for us or to us by others due to their own agendas… by circumstances beyond our control or realm off comprehension… We can fight change or roll with it… they can be positive or negative or maybe difficult to know which. I don’t like the changes I’m currently dealing with… but I’m learning a lot in the process and hoping for better changes ahead.
What do you think of “I slowly slip away”?