Did we?

 

Did we really sign up for this? I was always a believer. A believer in fate, destiny, and something more… Now, every time I look around I am saddened. I see people struggling and am struggling myself. I see people living their lives and some who work so hard… and I wonder what will come of these choices. Will any of us really ever be happy? How can we define happiness anyway? Is it in moments? Is happiness a  thought, an action?

This is a ramble, because you really don’t know me. You know my words. You can sense my feelings and certain circumstance through these words. But in all reality I put out what I want to be felt and know.  If anyone knew who I really was…

The sad part is, no one really does, on these pages and in my world…

Over the passed 6 months my life has been a whirlwind. Changes upon changes upon changes. I am not good with change. On top of it all I am losing myself. I don’t write anymore, I do so much for others I can’t remember the last time I had a moment for myself, aside from know… and all i write for you is rambles… all i write for myself is nonsense… I suppose I am tired…

 

The point of this was to ask a question… Did we really sign up for this… I used to believe I did… now, I am trying to figure it out.

 

~E

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12 responses to “Did we?

  1. I think some people did, indeed, “sign up for this.” These are the people who feel an unyielding passion to aid humanity in some noble way.

    The rest of us?

    We are here because we were born.

    What is the meaning of life, in my opinion?

    To survive as long as we can…

  2. Angel, Enreal – remember, you can not give what you do not have. When your giving begins to cause you stress, pain, and anguish, it means that you do not really have it to give, especially from your heart. You can not love others, until you love self. The ego tells us that those who we sacrifice our spirit, energy, time, money, etc. for will not / can not survive without us. In truth, this is ego talking; not truth. I suspect, something within you is making you feel as though you must do in order to feel good about / love yourself. This is false love – it is only ego. How dare us think that we are that indispensable. In truth, people will and do survive without us, in some way or another. Remember, His eye is on the sparrow. Begin to take time, give enery to self, Enreal. Begin to love yourself, unconditionally, and without expectations of self. Do not we all want to be loved unconditionaly by others? How can we, when we do not love ourselves in this manner. God, the universe, whatever you choose to call it is calling you to awaken to self. You will struggle, as long as your mind set believes it is a struggle. Know that whatever happens, you will be ok. But also know, that no matter what happens, those whom you allow to depend upon you, will also be ok.

    Love,

    CordieB.

    • I miss you!!!!!!!!!!! I do not deserve these words, nor the time behind them… but just knowing you took it and felt it means worlds to me… I am in a slightly better place than when I wrote this… however I am still sad and still tired. I am ready to go home when ever the time is right… I am blessed to have your light shine on my darkness…

  3. I hear you, enreal. Going thru a bit of a rough patch myself lately, and I do not recall signing up for ”this”… no. Who would? I don’t suppose we are always given an option. It’s nice to think we are in control, & make our own destiny but I think that is a lot of wishful thinking and instead all we can do is make the best hand out of the cards that life deals us. And even that is sometimes easier (much easier) said, than done.

    • Sam… We mirror each other in so many ways… much easier said than done my friend… for now let us keep on hanging… when we decide to let go we shall talk again

  4. been here before, but haven’t we all? the moments of utter despair which i orefer to call desert moments. moments when nothing seems to make sense and yes, feeling lost.its like wandering in the sahara desert.and i realize it is because there is more to life than just the daily rourine of life.there is so much to life.it is very easy to forget ourselves in the process of taking care of others but know what,if a doctor is not healthy,no how he can treat you.he needs to care for him first then he can be fit enough to care for others.No is a powerful word and it is ok to use it when necessary.we are not superhumans and we have our limits.we get scared of being seen as selfish and so always say yes but to who’s detriment?as a writer,writing is one of those things that keep you sane and grounded and it almost becomes your drug and when you cannot write,there is a moment of nothingness but yet i have learned to always write.even when the words don’t seem to make sense,just write and write and write and somehow you will find your way;at least i do…so Enreal,you are not alone in this and you can survive it and the point is to live life abundantly,that is why Christ came. take heart deary.

    • Imperfectous… I felt your words… and I know what you mean… thanks for the smile you brought to my heart and for taking the time to bring light

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