Missing

I tell myself that one day I won’t miss you

I catch myself looking for traces,

One day I will accept that I shut you out

I made the decision and I took the easy road

I tell myself that one day I will be happy

I tell myself,

But I don’t listen

I think back upon the years which led me to today. All the roads. All the decisions. All the meaningless and endless twists and fated moments. I think back as I do every single day. Why? Because I miss her. I still think I hear her. I catch glimpses of her smile and her eyes. When I try to focus, she’s gone once more. So I suppose today symbolizes her. I know she knows how sorry I am, but alas, the path has been traveled. She was left behind. One day I will be happy. If she forgives and returns to me. For now I will continue to think back upon the years which led me to today. Today and everyday.

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12 responses to “Missing

  1. thanks for the words of encouragement…means a lot…sometimes amidst all the good in one’s life there is something that seems to be missing…the piece of the puzzle that we just can’t seem to get our hands on. take care… additionally, i really liked this poem, sorry for your pain…

  2. I, too, never listen and the going back is never an option.
    I think that’s why we so need to live for today, not tomorrow or yesterday or 10 years ago.
    We have right now.
    Keep the faith, my dear friend . . .
    ~m

  3. Hi, Enreal :) It’s been a long time since I’ve visited you and here today I find this poignant piece. I don’t really know you, so I don’t know who you’ve written about…a mother, a sister, a friend, a lover.

    But I find your words so touching and raw – I feel them in my chest. If you haven’t all ready, I would say to please forgive yourself! Until we forgive ourselves, no one else can either.

    Sending you love.

    • Janece, my friend, forgiveness is easy, it is the knowledge which bears heavily down on my mind. Knowledge and awareness.

      As for whom this is about, that is a sad tale. One which I don’t truly want to understand. It was written for myself.

      Thanks for the interest and feelings, they mean a great deal to me

  4. Powerful.
    People make decisions to leave others behind and often do not realise quite how painful it is to be left without closure, without knowing why. Wondering for years what you did wrong can cripple.
    hugs.
    xx

      • …and alas, wisdom gained the hard way through bitter experience and many tears.
        But one comes to a quiet place of acceptance in the end, where you realise that to know is not part of your path. Then you can move on, once you let it go into the hands of God.
        Realising I am neither wise nor all seeing, or actually terribly important in the world is a reminder that humility is a quality I need more, not less.
        bless you.

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